...There are to kinds of personalities. there are those who have everything and still complain as if they have nothing. and there are those who lose everything and act like life has given them everything.❣️🥺 Those memories still send a sharp,stinging paint through me....

I walked to the Fortis internal medicine ICU. my heart was racing and I was flooded with emotions. after a few minutes, I was standing outside the ICU door; Bhavna was behind a green curtain.🏃🏻

..."listen, you have to be brave and calm. I want to inform you that Bhavna condition is deteriorating further and we're planning to put her on a ventilator, " the doctor said in a concerned tone and handed me a document to sign.🛌🏻...

I felt numbed. As these icy words pierced me, it felt as if my blood was freezing.

" What are the chances of recovery?" i asked bluntly.

^^^"Rare chance; once she is doing well we can remove her from that, but her condition is is getting worse. the ventilator is not the the problem, the infection is."^^^

"So, is she not on ventilator yet?" I asked." Can I see her?"

"That is what I called you for. this ventilator will only be removed once she starts recovering or there are signs of improvement. she'll be administered anesthesia which will make her unconscious so that the ventilator does not cause any damage. "👨🏻‍⚕️

"What if there are no signs of improvement?"I asked.

"Then, i'm sorry..." he sighed. " it is possible you'll be talking to her for the last time."

...I went behind the green curtain. I thought i would hug her, but that would make her feel that something was wrong and she might break down completely. With a heavy heart and this dilemma in mind, I went to her. there was blood around her lips. She lay with her mouth open and her eyes closed. it was the most horrifying moment of my life. Watching her struggle to breathe made me insane. I wished I could have given her my breath and a part of my life, but i was helpless. I had never felt so disabled in my life.🙍🏻...

With great difficulty i said, " I love you,❤️ Bhavna. And you are the best wife."

She collected her strength and whispered something with ragged breaths. 👩🏻

My life changed from that day onwards. I wish i could rewind time and go back and relive all the beautiful moments that we had cherished together.❤️.

.

.

.

.

"Bhavna's last words become strengths for ajay, who lives to fulfill his promise of love."

the real love story will you in a pool of emotions."

"the loving heart of a beautiful soul Bhavna, encouraged Ajay to fight back and start looking at life in a positive way."

❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️🥺🥺🥺🥺❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

😘😘😘😘😘😘😘❤️❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘😘😘

🧒🏻👩🏻👩‍❤️‍👨🛌🏻🏃🏻👨🏻‍⚕️🌹😘😘❤️❣️🥺🥺🙍🏻👩🏻🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹😘🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

There are three kinds of students: ones who are sure what they want and achieve it, ones who know what they want but never achieve it, and finally (the kind that I am) those who you don't know what they want.

After completing my schooling from rihand Nagar, SoneBhadra, UP, I was like all the others who took the age old parts of engineering. There was no decision making involved in the choice; those who took maths would appear for the engineering exams, so I too joined the rat race.

I joined a coaching class for the IIT entrance exam. I wasted 2 years in the hope of gaining admission into an IIT. Being a Brahmin by birth, I had always prayed to God at the top of my voice, considering him deaf. This time, the players were centred on just one thing.

"God, please let it be IIT, please let it be IIT."

Sadly, IIT and IERT sounded alike to God and in this confusion, he gifted me IERT. It seemed as through God used BSNL operator services, which go down during the rainy season, and with the sounds of thunder around him, God heard IERT instant of IIT.

And so I landed up at IERT and finally realized that it was what i wanted. Nevertheless, I was not disheartened and accepted the same with love and respect. I was full of respect because when all the colleges had shut their doors, only IERT has accepted me.

August 2003

IERT (Institute of Engineering and Rural Technology)

Allahabad

I joined the IERT hostel on the second day of college and my father and I both received a warm welcome from the hostel warden at the reception.

"Welcome to one of the finest engineering colleges in the country," he said with a sense of pride and achievement.

I looked at my father, his chest has swelled with pride at the warden's warm welcome. My father and Sachin Tendulkar suffered from a similar disease: the nervous nineties. But in my father's case, it was his weight that was always swinging between ninety and ninety-nine kilos. He certainly scored a century then as he watched his son entering the Rural Technology Institute. I was the first in the panday family to study engineering. My father had another reason to be happy. finally, I had got admission into a college, which would mean an end to money grubbing by coaching Institutes.

"Sir, is Ragging a big problem for freshers?" my father asked the warden, concerned.

"Pandeyji, you don't have to worry as the supreme court has declared ragging as a Criminal Offence."

The manner in which he had said this seemed to indicate that he was personally in touch with the supreme court judge who gave the verdict.

"Are the seniors staying in the same campus?" papa asked in the same concerned tone.

"Yes, but their building is a different one," the warden answered. After sometime, when papa had settled me into my hostel room, I sensed one of his ' gyaan sessions' was about to start.

"Sonu, you have to study seriously. you are at a very crucial juncture of life, as you have to handle everything by yourself from now onwards. No cigarettes, no alcohol, no bad company, and no girlfriends! We belong to a middle class family, and you are our only hope."

He sighed.

Sonu is my nickname. I was surprised by my father's remark. He had never had an opportunity to study at a professional Institute. His words made me feel emotional but at the same time I felt overburdened by my family sins. Suddenly I didn't know why my hopeless family was searching for hope through me.

"Ok papa," I nodded, although I knew I would not follow any of his instructions. But i said this to stop him from repeating his old refrain.

That day however, he was unstoppable.

"Now all the family glory is in your hands and lastly...," I felt relieved on hearing the word 'lastly' from him, ' Remember, beta, you are my brave son."

With those inspiring words, he left for Rihand Nagar. His last wo bewildered me. Why would he call me his brave son?

\*

That evening at around eleven, I entered the common room to find many new faces. I met Arvind.

"Hi, I'm Arvind Chaubey, computer science. I'm from Rihand."

"Hello buddy, I am Ajay. In electronics, from Rihand Nagar, NTPC colony," I replied.

Arvind frowned, " just Ajay?"

"Oh, it's Ajay Pandey".

in a place like Allahabad, surnames matter a lot. people may forget your first name, but not your surname. We both exchange a half- hug, or to be more precise, a manly hug.The sense of belonging to the same place seemed to have brought us closer instantly.

...Before I go on, let me introduce all my hostel friends since their names will come up time and again:...