If you had met me three years ago, you would agree; I’m the most sane person you’ve ever seen. But that was three years ago, you’re meeting me now. ‘What’s your name?’ You ask, unsure of how you got here.

That’s what I ask too, I can’t seem to recall it! You can just call me, ‘Lulu’.

That’s what the workers call me anyway, short for ‘delusional’. Ha! Them? Calling me delusional? I’m not supposed to be here, neither are you.

You’re the ghost of that girl I killed, aren’t you? You looked so beautiful covered in blood. You still are covered in blood, are you not? You’re probably wondering how I got here. It’s not my fault, I’m not insane.

I’m not insane.

I’m not insane.

I’m not insane.

I’M. NOT. INSANE.

I’ll tell you just how I got here.

It all started three years ago, I was in the 6th grade. Life was happy. I had a future. Friends. A family. All that’s gone now. ‘How did it happen?’ You ask me.

So now you’re interested? Interested in the life of the girl who killed you! You hear me let out a low laugh.

Ok, ok, I’ll tell you. It all started with a single comment from my friend, Tessa. She said ‘I wonder what being insane feels like.’

I wondered too.

I’m still wondering.

Since I’m not insane.

Right?

You feel a shiver down your spine.

There’s no way this girl isn’t insane, you think.

I let out a sharp laugh, making you freeze.

Why am I asking?

Of course you know I’m not insane!

You can’t see my eyes, but you can feel them on you.

Watching your every move.

Anyway, let me start over.

It was the first day of grade 6. My friend Tessa picked a book from the library, normal right?

It would be normal if not for what the book was about.

It was tilted, ‘Inside the mind of the criminally insane’

You hear my breath become ragged and shaky.

Then....

Then she asked the question,

‘I wonder what being insane feels like.’

I still wonder.

I’m not insane.

Imnotinsaneimnotinsane.

IMNOTINSANE!

There’s a loud knocking at the door, it startles you.

‘Hey! Go to sleep! It’s past midnight and I legally can’t let you stay up anymore!’

I cackle and laugh back at him, ‘What? You ain’t gonna read me a bedtime story?’

You hear him whisper, ‘why did I sign up for this?’

He walks away.

‘Who was that?’ You ask.

The guard, gives me food, tells me to go to sleep, that sorta stuff.

‘Oh’ you tremble a bit, trying to think of a way out.

Come to think of it, you can’t seem to recall your name.

You also can’t remember your mom, or dad or anything else.

The only thing you can remember, is a very sharp pain in your eyes.

‘Hey, how did I die?’ You ask cautiously.

Hmmmm, I could tell you.

But the guard said to go to sleep so,

Goodnight!

You hear my breathing slow down.

Then you realize,

You can’t see anything.

Calm down, you think, it could just be dark.

Yeah, you’ll go with that.

Unable to sleep, being a ghost and all, you wait for morning to come.

Being a ghost means you should invisible, right?

Then why, do you feel a pair of eyes,

Watching you?

WARNING: in this chapter there will be homophobia🤮 I promise, it is nessary for the storyline of this book, and I do not mean to offend anyone, anything homophobic said in this chapter I do not mean, I think that boys can like boys and girls can like girls, or whoever they want to. Please do not take offence to anything in this chapter. Thank you for reading.

...****************...

You spend the whole night, wondering.

About what?

I don’t know, I’m not you.

When I wake, I can feel your ‘eyes’ boring into me.

‘Good morning’ I say with the widest smile possible, you can’t see it, but you feel it.

I was trying to let you know I was happy to be awake with you, but alas, you think I’m crazy.

Which I’m not, by the way.

‘How did I die?’ You ask.

Really? Right when I wake up, we have to get into the gory stuff?

At least let me eat breakfast, geez.

‘But I need to know how I died’ you insist.

Aw, but that would spoil the story.

‘Then tell me the rest of the ‘story’’

Ok, ok. Just let me eat first.

You hear a clanking that would have made your blood run cold.

‘What are eating with?’ You ask in a trembling voice.

If you could see, you would have noticed the wicked grin on my face.

It’s a spoon! Don’t tell me you’re afraid of spoons?

You hear me cackle.

‘Hey!’ BANG! ‘Keep it down! Some of us are trying to sleep here!’

I cackle louder.

You hear the person, who is on the other side of the wall, mumble, ‘crazy witch’

You gulp nervously, ‘who’s that?’

Eh, one of the other prisoners of the mentally deranged.

‘So you are insane?’ You ask me.

FOR THE EVERLOVING CRUMPLED DISHWATER BISCUITS!!!!!

I’M NOT INSANE

I’MNOTINSANENOTINSANENOTINSANE

I’m here because you couldn’t keep your filthy nose out of my business!

Oh shut up!

You had it coming!

Teachers praise left and right!

A hot boyfriend!

Those nasty comments in the girls locker room!

AND DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME YOU FORGOT WHAT YOU DID TO MARA!

I was hyperventilating now, screeching the words like a banshee.

‘I don’t remember anything, please, tell me’ you plead ‘what did I do to Mara? And who is she?’

She was my best friend.

She was my soulmate!

She was my everything!

You took that away!

Because of one kiss!

You couldn’t handle a girl and a girl being in love.

Even if your stupid brain can’t remember it, your twisted heart sure does!

If you had lungs, the breath would have been sucked clean out of you.

You can remember a tiny bit; a rooftop.

Laughter.

Your laughter.

It’s fuzzy, but you can remember running away as the police came.

Why were the police there?

Why were you laughing?

Have ya figured it out, red eyes?

My voice seemed to snap you out of your trance.

‘Red eyes’ you’re quite confused about the nickname.

Your eyes, they’re red.

Try looking in a mirror would ya?

Oh wait, you can’t!

My laughter was bouncing off the walls in a way that sounded almost inhuman.

Scratch that, definitely inhuman, you decide.

HEY! BE QUIET! ITS DINNERTIME AND NO ONE HERE APPRECIATES YOUR VOICE ECHOING UP AND DOWN THE HALLS!’ A loud, booming voice came from where you suspected the door was.

My, my!

It’s dinner already?

Oh how the time just passes by talking about my past lover.

Lover?’ You wrinkled what would be your nose, ‘aren’t you both girls?’

Ah, I see you’re still taking the homophobic route.

Good to know old habits die hard.

You let out a small gasp, ‘But, girls can’t like girls! That absurd!’

I let out a low growl.

I killed you once, I made you suffer.

I know the full story, you know not one bit.

I took a deep breath.

I’m going to sleep now, you are not going to speak to me til’ morning, understood?

You feel the temperature drop and, even as a ghost, you let out a small shiver.

You soon hear my breath even out.

Why are you still able to feel these eyes, watching you?

...****************...

Again I am sorry about anything that might offend you in this chapter, thank you for reading.