Maze of Feelings
Beginning of an Unlucky Charm
place: Government hospital pachchpadwa local city India UP
Mother
Ahh~ I can't. Doctor make it quick ah~ make it quicker-*the baby came out of her belly*
*their first daughter*
ah
Mother
*gasps for air*
D-docter can I see her?
The doctor showed the woman her daughter covered in blood , eyes hardly open and not crying yet , still
Mother
*a surge of fear crawls on her face* w-why is she not moving?
Mother
I-is she even breathing?
The doctor patted the baby and then the baby cried
But that smile didn't last long
that was the past . When I was little. When I was the ONLY child. Now ? We have a sister.
As the ages seemed to pass, our distances increased with speed .
Aditi
oh hey reader!, this story is about me , I am the problem, its me hey . I will just say it's all about feelings , my perspectives, and me . it's all about terrible things , you don't wanna know about. And my life's been a misery i want to share but I'm too scared so why not turn it into a story which you would read with great excitement,right?.
Aditi
I will tell you about me
Aditi
Everything i would have told a best friend
Aditi
And now you know how I was born
Aditi
*getting ready for skool*
Aditi
there are things i will explain to you
Aditi
But I do not guarantee if you will understand them
Aditi
I have a real bad habit talking to myself
Aditi
Everyone thinks I am mad
I am dyslexic. I get panic attacks.
I live with strict parents sometimes toxic
They beat me , they abuse me, and then they ask "from whom did you learnt it all from?"
Aditi
you know sometimes I feel like , no I am adopted kid
I will reveal my secrets here
Author is the protagonist here
Aditi
Meet you next chapter
My tears are streaming down my cheeks , I feel the heartening of my cheeks , I try not to cry but it's already too late , they are again here bullying me and I am again crying , in this rain ,living in vain, they love to watch me squirm. I want to bite back, but I know I will get hurt anyways , what if I never find my way back home again? What if I lose my head and die? What if I never write it to you?
What if I die without telling you all the things i always wanted to say?
I can't live with this burden in my heart
Aditi
i always give signs but you don't notice , and I will never speak
FEAR
Place: St.Xavier's High Skool
Aditi
*standing in a moving bus*
*beside a boy*
The boy was ugly, fat and cruel.
He looked at Aditi with a flicker of hate in his eyes , he was checking her out
it was no polite question , it was a demand.
his voice is deep, full of hate and disgust, and something ugly hidden in it.
Aditi says visibly scared.
Ansh
*smirks, steps on her foot intentionally and stomps on it with force of rage*
*overpowering on her*
Ansh
*taking advantage of her innocence ,of her delicacy*
Aditi
*breath trembles*
w-what do you want.
She says in a small voice
Ansh
This is what you get for crossing me
Aditi
I didn't do anything-
Ansh
*stomps even more with harsh cruelty*
Shut your ugly mouth ,bitch
He was blackmailing her for nothing, he was bullying her.
Aditi
*at the edge, eyes trembling, hands clutched on her dress*
*lip bite*
alarms wants on ,it's her stop
she pulls away from him ,pushes him away , runs out of the bus , tears were streaming down her cheeks already , she broke, breathed hitching, she could feel her cheeks heating up. And it hurt even more when she heard Ansh laughing behind back.
Aditi
And now that I am 14 yes I can use apps 😚
Aditi
*giggling, using snapchat , chatting with strangers*
someone adds her in a group chat
at first she ignored every text
then one day , her phone kept buzzing when someone was calling her continuously .
She was sending her things in Russian
Something she didn't understand
Aditi
*searchs it all on chatgpt*
Aditi
*fury rises , and a sudden wash of adrenaline rush*
the girl who kept sending her things, she was russian and her user name is Anika , she was sending her names like "Slut, bitch, suck my dick etc" everything which hurts.
so Aditi replied to the girl by searching every talk back with the help of chatgpt
Aditi
*she felt the adrenaline rush slowly fading but still*
She is laughing with no conscience
She doesn't wants to but-is she possessed
Aditi
What is happening to me?
Aditi
I feel so hurt, so angry and then so happy.
Aditi
What was right feels wrong
Mother
You are again talking to yourself like some idiot, anyways I heard some sobbings , were it you? Or your sister
Aditi
*wipes tears right away* what no. I don't know
Mother
Tell me , who hurt you?
Aditi
no mother nothing happened nothing
Mother
Stop lying .
*snaps quietly*
Aditi
*shuts her mouth, looks down*
*hands clasped*
Mother
Tell me , who hurt you?
Mother
As expected .
*glares*
Mother
*walks by, pushing Aditi away*
Aditi
ha-ah...*gasps as of the sudden force of the energy not expected to hit her*
ha-ah-ah...*lips trembling, tears flow down her cheeks endlessly, gasps for air, hands shiver, falls on her knees* *crawling beneath the tables just waiting to get away*
Shreyansh
Where are you going?
A deep voice from above reached her ears , she stopped in the tracks, looks up, gulps , her tears wept away from wind , and she froze
Shreyansh
Didn't you hear what I said? I said where do you think you are going huh?
Aditi
wh-you!
*puts her hands on her mouth before saying anything disgraceful*
Shreyansh
*a slow smirk curls on his lips* yes...it's me , what is it Aditi? Are you scared of me?
Aditi
What are you doing here? it's my house. You are not supposed to be here, Shreyansh-
Shreyansh leans down and holds her gently and makes her stand on her own feet , one hand on her waist and other on her wrist
Shreyansh
Listen ,I am not letting go
Shreyansh
I heard everything. AND i know you are lying, come on you could tell me who hurt you-you know you could trust me
Aditi
it's just I got bullied...again.
Shreyansh
What do you mean by "again"?
A slow fury and possessiveness rises in him
His grip on her wrist tightens but not enough to hurt her
Shreyansh
Who hurt you first? Who did this to you?
Aditi
I-it was a guy from my skool first and now a girl.
Aditi
Shreyansh please don't tell anyone else a thing about this , and not even about meeting eachother in this way please shreyansh-
Seeing Aditi's panic in her eyes Shreyansh softens and loosens the grip on her wrist
Shreyansh
Hey , calm down I won't do anything
Shreyansh
*his hand touches her cheeks*
Shreyansh
You are safe when with me
Shreyansh
Come on, I am your guest . I can do this much.
Aditi
*smiles* *kisses Shreyansh on his both cheeks*
Shreyansh
*shocked, in disbelief, freezes*
Aditi
*pulls away from his touch and runs away, giggling and smiling , a new spark in her eyes*
Shreyansh
*just looks at her swaying figure, watches til it fades*
Shreyansh
*snaps out of his daydream, chuckles at himself*
Childish. Beautiful.
Aditi
*chuckles at herself*
aishh... Stupid. My Prince .
every smile , each stolen glance and those laughter they share . Is it for forever ? Or are we just teasing her just to tear it all away?.
Aditi
(i don't know this strange feeling. But I love it anyway💗💕)
Shreyansh
(I don't know what it is but she attracts me...so I am just gonna let destiny choose our faith✨)
Mother
💭this love can't survive in the dark smoke and my pride's mist
.........."unrequited love".............
Unlucky Charm
Some legend has said that "The Feeling of Falling in love feels more like The Feeling of Fear"
Is it going to be the same for Aditi and Shreyansh a lovestory going on in secrecy
Aditi
(💭I have never yearned for anything else but this?-i want it to never end)
Shreyansh
(💭I think...I know I am in love with her. Or maybe her body.)
Shreyansh
Hey, Aditi-*sees her in bed* are you asleep?
Aditi
No. Not really well what do you want? Mr.Guest.
*teases*
*gets up*
Shreyansh
*a corner of his mouth turned upwards*
Well well, I just wanted some amusement. Look, I am so deadly bored , would you entertain me? Aditi.
Aditi
Come on, I am not a joker.
Shreyansh
Ah hah, you are a circus
Shreyansh
*laughs , and runs faster*
Aditi
ah-*trips and falls on her knees* aishh.
Shreyansh
*stops in tracks* are you okay ? Aditi.
Shreyansh
*turns around , walks to her and helps her get up*
You don't look okay. You can't even stand up Aditi
Aditi
it's my body I know I am okay Shreyansh-
Shreyansh
I know you better than you know yourself Aditi.
Aditi
(💭if you ever really did-you would have felt this strange feeling too)
Shreyansh
And how could you say that?
Shreyansh
Huh, I know you since your birth
Aditi
Shreyansh you don't understand
Mother
what are you both doing here?
Shreyansh
We were both playing childish games like hide n seek , auntie *smiles , feigns innocence*
Aditi
*thankful of Shreyansh*
Shreyansh
Can't believe, Aunt is highly suspicious
Aditi
my mother is not like any other mother. She doesn't believe me. Nor you.
Shreyansh
so you are experienced with highly tensed up conditions. Am I right or am I right?
*demanding certainly*
Aditi
Yes... But all of it doesn't bother you. Am i right or am I right?
Aditi
*not backing down either*
Shreyansh
*cracks a smile* you fiery Little thing
Aditi
*chuckles* but I am as high as your hopes.
Shreyansh
Oh, don't flatter yourself.
Mother
*barges in again* aren't you laughing too much with Shreyansh?. And I have also caught you two spending more time than ever with anyone else in our family. what's going on?. I suspect you two are both getting out of our hands.
Shreyansh
No aunt we are just spending some quality time by talking about studies *a smile like a saint*
Aditi
...y..yeah mother he is right...
Mother
don't talk too much Aditi.
Mother
And Shreyansh, she needs to focus on her studies she doesn't need any companion to discuss her study plan . Am i correct? Aditi.
Mother
Good. You see? Shreyansh, she is also agreeing . You better focus on your ownself Shreyansh now you may go *smiles with a bad deed reflecting in her eyes*
Mother
No shreyansh, don't burden yourself for her.
Shreyansh
...okay aunt I will you soon again I hope so . Bye.
Mother
What are you looking at? . I have warned you several times to not budge Shreyansh but still you talk to him .how dare you Aditi ? how could you be so indisciplined and bad. I never expected these things from you. I am doing this for your own good.
Mother
You did thank me later in time
Mother
You shouldn't meet him
Mother
Now go to your room
Aditi
How could I be so selfish?
Aditi
I shouldn't have met him
Aditi
No i can't let my family name be shadowed because of my disgrace
I ,again, please you, don't pressure your kids too much that they stop living.
You need them to enjoy themselves also
Don't let them feel unloved
Love them so much that they start to discipline themselves so they could payback you in exchange of lots of love
Don't let the nightmares stop you having from dreams
You just need consolation
let the bullies think that you are weak until you don't want them too
Let them underestimate you
Til you want to seem powerful
Show your powerfulness by seeming weak
If you are talented don't be a weapon for others
Aditi
I wish I was dead instead-
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