------She gasped, her back hitting the solid wood of the door. I caged her in, placing my hands on either side of her head, leaning in until there was nowhere left for her to run.

​"You wanted the truth?" I breathed, my voice thick with all the years of denial, longing, and fear. "You have it. Now you get to feel what two years of pretending and five years of running feels like."

​I didn't give her another second. I slammed my mouth down onto hers. It wasn't the tentative, gentle kiss of last night's shadow; this was a desperate, hungry, intense claiming. My lips moved roughly against hers, demanding a response, tearing down the last vestiges of our roles as 'brother' and 'sister.'

​I felt her initial shock—a stiff resistance—but then, the agonizing, inevitable softening. Her hands, which had been pressed against my chest, moved up, clinging to the fabric of my shirt. She kissed me back, matching the intensity of my hunger, pouring all the years of her own suppressed longing and heartbreak into the contact.----------

⛈️ Dead of Night

Nina's POV

​I was crying heavily as the storm outside got stronger. It was the dead of night when I suddenly felt someone's breath on my face. I jolted up from my bed to see who it was, but my vision was still blurry from my slumber, and the room's pitch-black darkness didn't help. Suddenly, I saw a shadow moving toward the door, trying to get outside the room. That's when I chased after it and felt its hand touch mine—and then it vanished.

​I knew then that it was a person. I was not hallucinating or seeing something I shouldn't. I immediately turned on the light, but he was gone.

​Every night when all of us were asleep, I would always feel someone's gaze on me, and sometimes I would feel that delicate parts of me were being touched. As I felt that touch, I would always awake in the pitch-black darkness of my room, and whenever I did, he was long gone.

​I knew who he was, but I couldn't bring myself to confront him because in the daytime he would never even glance at me. He didn't talk at all when we ate together; he acted as if I didn't exist.

​Caleb was my stepbrother, five years older than me. His father married my mother when I was seven. He was good to me when we were young, but he suddenly grew cold as we got older. I've always liked him more than a brother. I know it was wrong, but I couldn't stop myself from loving him.

​I don't get why he would sneak in on me like that, but I couldn't get my hopes up because he already had a girlfriend. He would sometimes bring his girlfriend home and order me around the house to prepare snacks for them.

​💔 The Smirk

​There was a time when he asked me to bring their food into his room. I saw them kiss passionately; I almost dropped the tray I was holding as my chest tightened with indescribable pain. I stammered and told him that I would just leave their food outside his door. But he refused and said I should bring it inside.

​As they kissed again, his girlfriend, Shane, looked at me with a smirk while she kissed Caleb. I immediately put their food on the table with a thud and hurried out of the room as my vision became blurry. That's when I noticed I was crying. I wiped my tears, but they kept falling out of my eyes.

​As I reached my room, I curled up on my bed and clutched my chest out of pain and frustration. Shane knew I'd always wanted Caleb. She used to be my friend. I used to tell her all my secrets; I treated her like a sister. I hate her so much... so much I wanted her to die.

​"Caleb, I want to tell you something. I'm now sixteen. Ever since I met you, I knew I loved you more than just a brother. I want to have a family with you. I love you, Caleb..."

​I woke up from my sleep and realized it was six in the evening. I hadn't noticed I'd fallen asleep. I had dreamt about the confession I made to Caleb two years ago. I confessed to him on my sixteenth birthday, but he rejected me, and he grew even colder toward me.

​Our parents were always busy with work, and they traveled often together, so usually, it was just the two of us in the house. I wanted to avoid him, but I couldn't. I hoped Shane was gone because it would be too awkward to see her again, especially since my eyes were swollen from crying. I wanted to go down to the kitchen and get some ice to lessen the swelling of my eye bags, and I didn't want to see her at all.

​😠 The Dinner

​When I went to the kitchen, I saw Caleb preparing for dinner. I held my head down so he couldn't see my face and walked past him. He suddenly grabbed my arm, tilted my chin up, and looked at my face. He asked what was wrong. I told him "nothing" and pushed his hand aside.

​As I was going to open the fridge, he told me to eat dinner together. I answered him "yes" as if I had a choice. I washed my face and fixed my hair, then I went to the dining table and saw that he had prepared everything.

​I asked nonchalantly if Shane went home, and he said Shane was busy and that she just came by to say hi. I just gave him a nod and thought to myself, "Hi her ass. She didn't just say hi, but also flaunted fucking Caleb. She's a bitch. She even had the audacity to provoke me with that disgusting smirk of hers."

​I suddenly lost all appetite and told Caleb I was done. He looked at me with a blank expression and said that I barely touched my food and shouldn't waste it. Really? Was that his only concern? Is he that insensitive? Knowing how I felt about him, he would flaunt his bitch of a girlfriend in my face?

​Seething with irritation, I forcefully ate the food on my plate and put the dishes in the sink without looking back at him. I heard him calling my name, but I never bothered to answer.

​I'm now in my room again. I forgot to drink water, and it's because of that stupid Caleb. Why won't he understand how I feel? Maybe I should just forget about him. As I drifted off to sleep, I cursed Caleb and Shane.

​I don't know what time it is, but I'm pretty sure I did not turn my lights off. I woke up as I felt something brush on my lips. I pretended to sleep as the sensation went on to my forehead. When the figure was about to stand up from sitting on my bed, I grabbed his hand. I could feel that he was shocked as he got off balance and stumbled on top of me.

​I called him, "Caleb..."

​📝 The Night and the Morning After

​"Caleb," I called his name. As my eyes adjusted to the dark, I could see his face a bit—shocked and breathing heavily. He hurriedly straightened up and walked out of my room immediately. I was left dumbfounded as I called his name again. My heart was beating fast as the rain outside grew heavier. Maybe it was the rain 🌧️ that comforted me. I didn't know what to feel about what happened that night. I wanted to hope for something more, but I knew it was a taboo to love someone who was legally family, even when not blood related. I couldn't help but cry about my helplessness.

​I hadn't slept even a wink, but I still needed to attend my class; it was Monday. I decided to cover up my miserable face with concealer and makeup. As I went downstairs, I didn't see Caleb—thank God. It was too awkward to see him today after what happened last night.

​I'm in my first year of college, taking up Marketing Management at a nearby university. I texted a friend of mine, Gina, to wait for me in the university's cafeteria. Gina is my nerdy kind of friend, who I always talk to about my frustrations and unrequited love with Mr. C—she doesn't know who that is. It's not that I don't trust her; it's just that I want some things to remain private on my part. Part of it was because I had a traumatic experience with Shane. I bet he told Caleb about me, but nah, it doesn't matter anymore.

​I met Gina patiently waiting for me, and we went to class together. We're taking the same degree, so we pretty much have the same schedules. When our class ended, we decided to eat together. Gina hurriedly asked me if I was okay; she must have noticed my sunken eyes and dark under eyes, deprived of sleep. I told her I was fine and that I just had a mental breakdown because of Mr. C.

​Her curiosity piqued again, and she asked what happened. "Did Mr. C mess with you again?"

​I kind of painted Caleb as a bit of a bad guy to Gina—because I was irritated with him when he got together with Shane after I confessed to him, even after I'd told Shane I was finally going to confess to Caleb. Little did I know that they'd end up together... So, I told Gina that Caleb purposely let me see them together with Shane during their intimate moment.

​Gina, seething with rage, cursed "Mr. C" and told me I should just forget about him. "You are pretty, Nina! I don't know if you have noticed, but lots of guys were stealing glances at you. I'm sure you will find someone better than that devil. He doesn't deserve you, and you don't deserve a cruel man like that."

​I felt a little bit guilty about Gina's concern for me because no matter how I tried to forget my feelings about my own stepbrother, I just couldn't bring myself to look the other way. I thanked Gina and told her that I would try, but I would hurt properly and despair enough; I would love Caleb and feel the pain until I got numbed, and I wouldn't feel anything but nothing about him.

​Gina hugged me and changed the topic as the mood around us became gloomy. She asked me to try to make myself busy with studies or the things that I enjoyed, to forget about Caleb, even for a while.

​After I hung out with Gina, I didn't notice it was so late. I hurriedly went home, as I walked from the bus stop; our house is like 500 meters away. The alleys were dark, and although there were some lights, the neighborhood was awfully quiet. I reached into my pocket to get my phone to check the time, and it was 11 in the evening. I shouldn't have spent so much time doing karaoke with Gina. I ended up enjoying myself too much and didn't notice it was this late already.

​As I scanned through my phone, I noticed I had tons of missed calls from Caleb. I was going to send him a message, but then I gripped my phone tight and hastened my phase when I suddenly noticed that someone from behind was following me. I was so scared that I prayed internally to God that I'd reach my house on the spot. I quickened my phase; the stranger's footsteps also quickened. When I tried to run, I didn't notice a stone, and then I stumbled on the road with my phone thrown out of my grip.

​Someone behind me yanked my arm as I screamed in pain and asked for help, hoping that someone nearby would hear my voice. As I was struggling to break free, my knees were sore from the scrape because of the fall. I was now crying and begging the man towering over me to let me go, and I instinctively called for Caleb's name.

​The man cupped my face and forcefully directed my face into his. That's when I properly saw a familiar face, and he uttered my name, "Nina."

Caleb's POV

​"Nina, calm down. Look at me, it's me, Caleb," I told her, my voice laced with nervousness. It wasn't my intention to scare her, but she was unusually late this time, and worry had compelled me to wait for her at the bus stop. Even though our family was wealthy, our parents had raised us to be independent, believing we should learn from our own hardships. She hadn't answered any of my calls, and I was worried she was still upset about the night before. I honestly didn't know how to face her; I had clearly lost control of myself again.

​She stared at me, tears welling in her eyes, still recovering from the shock. I helped her stand and noticed her knees were scraped and bleeding. I muttered an apology, then turned my back to her and crouched down. "Come on," I urged her, "it looks like you'll have trouble walking with that knee." I heard her grumble, but she relented and hopped onto my back.

​When we reached the house, I gently lowered her onto the sofa and quickly retrieved the cleaning solution and Band-Aids from our emergency kit. Thankfully, it was just a scrape. I took off her shoes and knelt to properly apply the antiseptic. She winced, but still didn't say a word.

​After treating her wound, I sat beside her. "Why didn't you answer any of my calls?" I asked, frustration mounting. "Where were you so late? Don't tell me you were slacking off with some guys." The last part just blurted out. I was so frustrated and the thought of her being in a late-night engagement with some random guy just fueled my jealousy.

​She immediately shot back, "Why do you care? It's not like I'm still a minor. If I wanted a boyfriend, I could have one as I wish. You don't have the right to tell me what to do! I'm not even meddling with your relationship with my best friend—I mean, ex-best friend. And why, instead of worrying about me, apologizing for my knees, and explaining about last night, are you accusing me of playing around with a man? Am I a whore to you?! I hate you, Caleb!"

​Nina stormed off toward her room, struggling with every step because of her injured knees. I wanted to chase after her, but I was frozen, lost for words. I didn't mean any of it; I was just worried sick about her. I really messed up. "I'm sorry, Nina," I thought, but the words wouldn't leave my lips.

​I decided to heat up the meal I had prepared earlier for us. I hadn't eaten because I was too worried. I took the food upstairs and went to her room. I knocked, but she didn't respond. The door was locked when I tried the handle, so I told her that if she felt better, or if she was hungry, I'd just leave the food outside her door, and that she shouldn't skip her meals.

​The clock on the wall seemed to tick slower than usual, counting out every minute of my regret. I wanted to avoid her, or rather, I wanted her to distance herself from me. I had never expected her to feel the same way about me—I was happy and sad at the same time when she confessed. Happy because I loved her too, not as a sister, but as a woman, but sad because I wasn't sure if she truly understood those feelings since she was still young. She might be mixing familial love with romantic love. And worst of all, we were family. Why did she have to be my stepsister? I was torn between wanting her and needing to protect her. Sometimes, I just couldn't control my desire. I wanted to kiss her so badly; I wanted to make her mine. I wanted us to go somewhere far away and live our lives together. But I was scared. I was scared I couldn't give her all the things she deserved in life. I was scared I would make her life miserable. So, I must not touch her until I could make a name for myself.

​Morning came, and when I woke up, Nina was already gone. I saw her food, untouched, sitting on the kitchen sink. She must still be upset with me. I didn't know how to make it up to her.

​Nina's POV

​I was shocked to see it was Caleb, and yet relieved at the same time. Part of me wanted to yell at him for scaring me like that. With my knees sore and bleeding, he urged me to hop on his back. I hesitantly allowed him to give me a piggyback ride, resting my face against his back. I could still remember how he used to do this when we were young, whenever we played outside and I was too tired to walk home. I wished we could stay like this forever.

​When we reached the house and he sat me down on the sofa, I felt embarrassed as he took off my shoes and began to treat my wounds. I could feel his breath and that familiar tingling sensation from his touch, making my heart melt. But I was abruptly pulled back to reality as the pain from the alcohol hit my knees. I wanted to scream, but I didn't want him to make fun of me.

​After he dressed my wound, he sat beside me and asked why I hadn't been answering his calls. I was about to explain, but I got cut off and ended up frustrated when he accused me of being late because of a guy. How could he be such a jerk and so insensitive? Did he think I would just sleep with some random guy? We got into a heated argument, and I stormed out.

​Even though my knees hurt, the pain inside my chest hurt more. I locked myself in my room, crying and thinking that maybe he truly thought I wasn't a virgin anymore, and that I would easily give myself to anyone who wanted me. Why did he even care, anyway? It's not like he felt the same way about me. Why did he have to be so harsh? Why did he always say the most hurtful words? Did he hate me that much?

​A couple of minutes passed, and I was getting hungry since I had only eaten snacks with Gina. I heard a knock on the door, but I didn't answer. I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to eat his food. I didn't want anything from him. I forced myself to sleep, but I never had a good night's rest. I woke up early and hurried off to the university without eating anything. I'll just eat with Gina later.