The classroom buzzed with the usual morning chatter, but for Ren, the world always grew quiet the moment Haru walked in. It wasn’t something he did on purpose—it just happened. The brightness around Haru seemed to mute everything else, like sunlight cutting through fog.

Haru entered the room laughing with his friends, his light brown hair glowing faintly under the morning light. Ren pretended to focus on his notebook, but his eyes moved on their own, drawn toward Haru like a secret habit he couldn’t stop.

A shadow fell across his desk.

“Ren! You forgot your notebook again.” Haru dropped the spiral-bound book onto the desk with a grin. “You’d lose your head if it wasn’t attached.”

Ren’s heart jumped. “Ah—thank you. Sorry.”

“You say sorry too much,” Haru laughed, taking the seat beside him even though it wasn’t his assigned one. “Seriously, you’d be hopeless without me.”

Ren looked down, the faintest blush tinting his cheeks. If only being close didn’t hurt so much.

He forced a small smile. “I… I guess so.”

Haru leaned over, elbows on the table, watching Ren’s expression with casual warmth. “You didn’t study again, did you?”

Ren shook his head. Actually, he had studied a lot—but he couldn’t exactly say, “I was too distracted thinking about you.”

Before Haru could scold him playfully again, the bell rang, and their teacher walked in. Haru reluctantly returned to his seat, but he turned back at least three times as if checking on Ren just because he could.

Ren knew Haru didn’t mean anything by it. That was the problem. Haru’s kindness wasn’t special—it was simply who he was. Friendly, warm, and easy to love. Ren had learned that a long time ago… and he’d also learned that loving Haru was something he needed to keep buried deep inside.

During break time, Haru cornered him again.

“Hey! Walk with me to the vending machines.”

Ren blinked. “Me? Why?”

“Because you’re my friend,” Haru said simply, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Ren followed him out into the hallway, trying not to stare at how carefree Haru looked as he stretched his arms behind his head. His white uniform shirt lifted slightly, showing a sliver of his waist, and Ren instantly looked away.

They reached the vending machines. Haru tapped the glass. “Which drink do you want?”

“I’m fine,” Ren muttered.

“You say that every time.” Haru pressed a button anyway. A can clattered down—Ren’s favorite flavor. Haru held it out with a knowing smile. “Here.”

Ren hesitated. “You didn’t have to…”

Haru stepped closer, gently pushing the can into Ren’s hand. “Ren. You don’t need a reason to accept something from a friend.”

Ren’s throat tightened. That’s exactly why it hurts, he thought.

Haru didn’t notice the silent ache. He just laughed lightly, bumping Ren’s shoulder with his own.

“You’re weird, but I like hanging out with you.”

Ren froze. Haru walked ahead, turning back with a cheerful grin.

“Come on! Don’t fall behind!”

Ren followed slowly, gripping the cold can in his hand.

If only you knew, he thought.

If only loving you wasn’t something I had to do quietly.

The afternoon sunlight slanted through the classroom windows as the teacher shuffled a stack of papers. Students murmured among themselves, already dreading the group project assignment. Ren sat quietly at his desk, head lowered, fingers tracing the edge of his notebook. He tried not to look at the boy sitting just a few rows away—Haru—whose laugh always carried across the room like sunlight on water.

“Alright,” the teacher said, clearing her throat. “I’ve selected your partners for this project.”

The room fell into collective groans. Ren held his breath, staring at the wooden grain of his desk.

“Ren and Haru.”

His heart dropped to his stomach.

Before he could react, Haru twisted in his seat, his face lighting up like it always did. “Ren! Looks like we’re partners again,” he said, leaning forward with that bright grin that always knocked the air out of Ren’s lungs.

Ren managed a small nod. “Okay…”

The bell rang, and students rushed out. Ren packed his books slowly, hoping to slip away unnoticed, but Haru appeared beside him in a heartbeat.

“Ren! After school, let’s talk about what we’re doing for the project. Are you free?” Haru asked, eyes warm.

“…Yes,” Ren said softly.

“Perfect. I’ll wait for you at the gate.”

Ren’s steps felt light and heavy at the same time as he walked out of the room. Don’t read into it, he told himself. He’s just being friendly. He’s friendly with everyone.

After school, Haru was already waiting, bouncing slightly on his heels.

“Took you long enough,” he said with an exaggerated sigh. “Come on, let’s walk.”

They began down the road, the late afternoon breeze rustling the leaves overhead. At first, the silence felt awkward, but Haru soon broke it.

“You walk fast,” he complained lightly. “Slow down.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

Haru chuckled and adjusted his pace until their shoulders nearly brushed. “It’s nicer when we walk together, right?”

Ren felt his ears heat. “…You think so?”

“Yeah,” Haru said with a casual smile. “Feels comfortable.”

Ren quickly turned away, pretending to watch a passing car. His heartbeat felt too loud in his chest. Please… don’t say things like that. I’ll misunderstand.

They reached Ren’s house soon after, sitting side by side at his small desk. Haru dropped his bag onto the floor.

“Alright, genius,” Haru said. “Teach me. I’m hopeless at this stuff.”

Ren wrote a few notes in a calm voice. “You’re actually smart. You just lose focus.”

“It’s your fault,” Haru said suddenly.

Ren nearly dropped his pen. “M-my fault?”

Haru laughed. “Yeah. When you’re serious, I get distracted. It’s sort of intimidating.”

Ren blinked, relief and disappointment colliding in his chest. “Oh. That’s… all.”

Time passed quickly, and soon Haru stood to leave.

“Let’s meet again tomorrow, okay? After school.”

Ren hesitated. “…Why?”

Haru gave him that open, unguarded smile. “Because I want to. And we still have work to do.”

Ren opened his front door for him. “Alright.”

“See you tomorrow!” Haru waved, jogging off.

Ren closed the door slowly, leaning back against it as he sank to the floor, a soft, helpless smile tugging at his lips.

I wish… this wasn’t one-sided.

The next afternoon, Ren waited by his locker, clutching the straps of his bag. He told himself he wasn’t waiting for Haru specifically—he was just early. That was all. It had nothing to do with the way his heart leapt every time he heard approaching footsteps.

But when Haru called, “Ren! You ready?” from down the hallway, Ren straightened instantly.

Haru jogged over, slightly out of breath, hair messy from practice. “Sorry I’m late. Coach kept talking forever.” He grinned, warm and easy. “Let’s go?”

“Yeah,” Ren said, unable to stop the small smile forming.

They walked side by side to Ren’s house again. It had become an unspoken routine, one Haru seemed perfectly comfortable with—and one Ren tried desperately not to think too deeply about.

When they reached Ren’s room, Haru plopped down at the desk like it was already familiar territory. “Alright, Master Ren. Teach me how not to fail.”

“You’re not failing,” Ren replied, setting down his notebook.

“Yet,” Haru corrected with a dramatic sigh.

Ren shook his head, but there was a faint smile tugging at his lips. They worked for a few minutes quietly, until Ren felt a faint pressure. He looked up—and froze.

Haru was staring at him.

Not casually, not playfully, but intently. Like he was trying to read every expression on Ren’s face.

Ren quickly looked down at his book. “…What?”

“Why do you do that?” Haru asked softly.

Ren blinked. “Do what?”

“Avoid my eyes.”

Ren stiffened. His fingers tightened around his pen. “…I don’t.”

“You do,” Haru said, leaning a little closer. “Whenever I look at you for more than one second, you look away. Every time.”

Ren forced a shaky breath. “You’re imagining things.”

“No, I’m not.” Haru’s voice dropped lower—not teasing, not joking, but serious. “Are you uncomfortable around me?”

Ren’s chest constricted. “N-no! It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?” Haru asked, eyes searching Ren’s face.

Ren stared at his hands, heart pounding loud enough he was sure Haru could hear it. What am I supposed to say? That I can’t look at you because I like you too much? Because every time our eyes meet, I’m afraid you’ll see everything I’m hiding?

He swallowed, voice barely above a whisper. “It’s… complicated.”

Haru didn’t look satisfied, but he didn’t push further. Instead, he leaned back in his chair, tapping a pencil against his knee thoughtfully.

“You know,” Haru said finally, “you act like I’m this scary person, but you’re the one who makes me nervous.”

Ren’s head snapped up. “Me? Why?”

Haru shrugged, cheeks faintly pink. “I don’t know. You’re always so calm. Serious. I feel like I’m going to mess up in front of you.”

Ren stared at him, stunned. “I’m… not scary.”

“I didn’t say scary,” Haru corrected gently. “I said you make me nervous.”

Ren didn’t know what to say to that. A warmth spread through his chest—soft, dangerous, impossible to ignore.

Haru smiled faintly, leaning over the desk again. “Just… don’t look away so much, okay? I want to see your eyes sometimes.”

Ren’s breath caught.

“…Okay.”

But even as they started working again, Ren could feel Haru’s gaze drifting toward him now and then—curious, lingering, almost… affectionate.

And for the first time, Ren didn’t look away