Bebo & Kei: The Ultimate Gossip Showdown
The "Perfect Selfie"
I'm grateful to be back with a new work here again, hope you enjoy the fun. Trying my best for my fans, tnx for the support.
Scene: Bebo's living room, it's a yellow sunny morning, the two old gentlemen are seated across from each other, delighting in an early morning conversation.
Bebo
Why do people spend 30 minutes on a selfie?
Kei
Because 1 second of perfection beats 30 minutes of "I look like a potato." 🥔
Bebo
If only the spent that much time on their personality...
Kei
And those filters? I'm not sure if I'm looking at a human or a cartoon panda. 🐼
Bebo
At least pandas are cute. Some filters look like scary clowns. 🤡
Bebo
Saw a guy lifting weights with one hand, phone in the other.
Multitasking! aka "minimal effort"
Kei
Bet his workout was checking Instagram every 5seconds.😂🤣
Bebo
If scrolling burned calories, he'd be a supermodel .
Kei
And people bring snacks to the gym, shouldn't they be burning calories?
Bebo
Maybe it's "fuel" for the "hardest workout ever" - 5 minutes on the treadmill.
Bebo takes a scratch at his round belly with his short fingers.
Gaming Day
Chamber 4: Awkward Family Gatherings
Bebo
Auntie asked when I'm getting married,..... again.
Kei
You'll be answering that at your retirement party too.
Bebo thinks: Should say "when pigs fly," but Auntie would want to meet the pig
Kei
Uncle told the same joke for the fifth time.
Bebo
Laughing mostly to avoid the "deathly stare."
Chamber 5: Dating Disasters
Bebo
Date asked if I'm a morning person. I said "No."
Kei
Smart. Who is a morning person?
Bebo
I'm more a "snooze button champion."
Kei
My dog acts like he owns the place.
Bebo
Pets reflect their owners, so you're basically a furry dictator?
Kei turns and looks at Bebo, astonished at his words
Kei
Maybe that explains my "nap all day" lifestyle.
Bebo
My cat ignores me unless I have food! 🐈
Kei
Cats are just tiny judgemental roommates.
Chamber 7: Fashion Faux Pas
Bebo
Saw someone wearing socks with sandals
Kei
That's a crime against fashion and humanity.
Bebo
Maybe they didn't get the memo from 1995
Kei
Some trends should stay dead
Bebo
Like low-rise jeans and questionable haircuts
Enter Bebo, looking tired and hopeless.
Kei looks at him in astonishment
Bebo
Tried a recipe. Ended up with something that looked like a science experiment.
Kei
Didn't I tell ya about that guy of yours, he's a scum, you bought those tapes for no sound reason.
Bebo
If smoke alarms weren't there, I'd have set the kitchen on fire.
*Picks up the game pad and sinks into the sofa seat eager to continue with his Dream League game*
Kei
Maybe stick to instant noodles?
Bebo
Huh, how about the Coq au Vin? How do I...?
Chamber 8: Public Transport Tales
Bebo shifts easily on his seat as he continues working on his game pad, a piece of popcorn in his mouth
He almost gets scored and lets out a screech as he saves it just in time.
Bebo
Remember that weird guy on the bus who sang just so loudly?
Kei
Public karaoke, whether we like it or not.
Bebo
Questionable at best.
Kei
And the smell..., Let's not talk about the smell.
Bebo, takes a slow turn around, and... just as if he realised something, pauses and slowly bends his head in an effort to smell his armpit; but before his head moves down further, he lets out a yell.
Bebo
Eau de "I skipped deodorant."
Kei
Which one really did you skip, the deodorant or the showers?
Bebo runs off into adjacent room as fast as he can
Bebo re- enters the room, feeling fresher and more refreshed.
Finds Kei deeply indulged in fixing his phone
Kei
My phone updated itself and now nothing works.
Bebo
Technology, making life easier, one glitch at a time.
Kei
I miss the days of flip phones
Bebo
Manuals are just fancy paperweights anyway
Kei
Agreed. Trial and error is the real teacher.
Kei
Your phone's smarter than you
Bebo
It auto-corrects me more than my teacher did
Kei
Maybe it's trying to save you from yourself
Chamber 10: Fashion and The Dance Moves
Bebo, unsettled in his seat, once again turns and motions towards Kei
Bebo
Kei, did you see how young people wear pants that look like they were borrowed from a scarecrow?
Kei
Scarecrow? They must be starting a new fashion line!
Bebo
Fashion line? More like they're trying to start a "Who wore it best: Farm edition!"
Bebo
My son showed up on one, today
He takes a satisfactory scratch at his pot-belly
Bebo
And Kei, have you noticed how they, the young people, dance these days?
Bebo
It's like they're trying to communicate with aliens! 👽
Kei
Communicate? More like they're having a seizure!
Bebo
Exactly! I keep waiting for an alien to land and say, "We've come to take you home!"
The Secret of Happiness
Setting: Bebo's lush garden, flowers blooming, sunlight streaming down. Kei is sitting on a bench, grinning like a Cheshire cat.
Bebo
(noticing Kei's smile) What's got you all giddy today? Did you finally find a treasure map?
(Bebo thinks to himself: I bet it's something silly. Let's see what this is about!)
Kei
(laughing) Even better! My boss, she's in love with me!
Bebo
(raising an eyebrow) Your boss? The 21-year-old? Are you sure she's not just getting to overwork you? 😂
(Bebo thinks: This is too good! I need to keep him talking)
Kei
No, no! She's been acting all...flirty! Like the other day, she complimented my tie!
Bebo
Complimented your tie? Wow, she must really be smitten! Or maybe she just thinks you dress like a grandpa!👔
( Bebo thinks: I need to steer this away before he gets too carried away.)
Kei
(chuckling) It's a nice tie! And she also giggled at my bad jokes.
Bebo
Giggles? That's classic! She probably just thinks you're the office clown!
(Bebo thinks: Come on, Kei! Keep talking. I need more material to work with.)
Kei
But she also asked me to join her for lunch. Twice!
Bebo
Twice? Wow! She must be hungry! Or maybe she's trying to figure out how to escape the office! 🍽️
(Bebo thinks: This is getting funnier; I need to keep him on this track.)
Kei
(grinning) I thought it was special!
Bebo
Special? More like she's trying to see if you can still chew your food! I mean, how old are you again? 100? 🤪😵🤭
(Bebo thinks: I can't let him get too comfortable with this idea. Time for a distraction.)
Kei
I'm not that old! I'm only 65 years old!
Bebo reminds Kei of his old-time saying
Bebo
"You know, my girl is the sweetest girl in the world!"🍭
(Bebo thinks: Let's see how this hits him. I need to remind him of his wife.)
Kei
Kei: (pausing) Well, yeah, she is...
Bebo
But isn't she getting a bit...seasoned? Like a sponge that's lost it's juice?🥤
(Bebo thinks: This will do the trick!)
Kei
(laughs) True! She's like a fruit with all the juice squeezed out!
Bebo
Exactly, you don't want to trade that in for a young unseasoned striker; a young , shiny fruit that might just be all looks!🍏
(Bebo thinks: I think I've got him cornered now.)
Kei
(chuckling) You're right! I guess I should focus on what I have.
Bebo
Plus, you know what they say: "Old but gold!" You and your wife are like fine wine.
Bebo
The oldest wine is the best and most expensive wine, a classic taste.
Bebo
In addition, you can't mix old wine with new wine,..
(Bebo thinks: Let's wrap this up; he's not going anywhere with this delusion!)
Kei
(smirks) Fine wine? We're more like expired juice! 🤒
Kei rises in a bid to leave the room, feeling uneasy
Bebo
(laughs) Just remember you've got the sweetest girl waiting at home. Don't let some gym goddess distract you!
(Bebo thinks: Phew! That was close. I need to keep my eyes on that one!)
Kei
(sighs) You're right, Bebo. I'm sticking with my sponge.
Bebo
(with an air of satisfaction) Nice to hear you say that - that's how beautiful life can be? See you again, twin.
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