HOTOKE SANO POV:

Life…

Life must be meaningful, isn’t it?

How cruel it is towards me.

I used to think my life didn’t mean anything. Not in a dramatic way, just… empty. Days blurred together, one after another, like pages in a book no one bothered to read. I’d wake up, go to school, sit in the same corner of the same classroom, and wonder if anyone would notice if I wasn’t there. Most of the time, they didn’t.

I really don’t how did I pass these years.

how can survive today?

if tomorrow wasn’t in my plans

BZZZ BZZZ BZZZ

I woke up because of my phone, It felt like the sound was coming from underwater, distant and muffled.

I wake up feeling nothing.

Not tired, not rested. Just….blank.

I stared at the ceiling for a while, trying to figure out what today was supposed to feel like, but there was nothing waiting for me. I didn’t feel tired. I didn’t feel awake either. Just… numb. Like my body remembered how to exist even when I didn’t.

“I guess I’m alive,” I muttered under my breath, though I didn’t feel much like it.

feel connected to any of it. I brushed my teeth, put on my uniform, and looked at my reflection. eyes dull, expression empty, like I was seeing a stranger who happened to look like me.

Some people wake up with dreams, goals, or at least a sense of purpose. I wake up with silence. And somehow, that’s become normal for me.

After preparation, I grabbed my bag and headed out the door. I saw some students walking, and some are running

Unlike me.

I can hear their laughters, I can see their wided smiles.

I kept going, dragging my bag over one shoulder. It was lighter than it should be. I barely brought anything. What was the point? School was just another place to sit, breathe, and exist until the sun went down again.

I walked through the gates, my steps automatic, my mind empty. The morning chatter of students barely registered. Everything felt flat, like a scene in a film I’d seen too many times.

And then I saw him.

Daiki.

He was leaning against the wall near the entrance, grinning like the world owed him something. His hair was messy as usual, eyes sparkling with that ridiculous energy he always carried. He spotted me immediately, he waved at me.

“Hotoke! You’re late again, man!” he called out, hopping off the wall with surprising agility. “Did you sleep through your alarm, or are you just practicing your zombie walk for Halloween?”

I frowned slightly, but didn’t respond. My arms hung by my sides, the same way they always did.

“You look dead inside… as usual. I swear, man, one day I’m gonna inject some energy into that boring soul of yours!”

I sighed. Maybe it was his energy. Maybe it was the way he refused to let me disappear into nothingness. Somehow, despite myself, I felt the tiniest pull, like a crack in the monotony.

“Morning,” I muttered. Not a greeting, not an apology, just… words.

Daiki laughed. Loud. Obnoxiously loud. But for some reason, it didn’t irritate me this time. It was… tolerable.

“You’re coming with me today, right? I’ve got a plan!” he said, eyes gleaming with whatever ridiculous thing he had in mind.

I didn’t say anything. I didn’t need to. Somehow, I already knew I’d follow.

Because even in a world that felt meaningless, Daiki made it… harder to completely disappear.

Daiki grabbed my arm before I could drift back into my own thoughts. “Come on, slowpoke! Don’t make me drag you to class!”

I let him pull me along, my feet moving on autopilot. The hallways were loud with chatter and the scrape of shoes on linoleum, but I barely noticed. Everything felt muted, as if I were watching life through a fogged-up window.

Daiki, on the other hand, seemed to be part of the noise. He bounced along, humming some absurd tune and occasionally poking students in passing.

The class proceeds quietly, or maybe I just can’t hear voices..

The final bell rang, dragging the last shreds of focus from the room. Daiki leapt from his seat before I even had time to gather my bag.

“Race you out of here!” he shouted, bolting toward the door. I trailed behind, slow and steady, like I always did.

Outside, the streets were quieter now, the usual bustle thinning as students scattered home. Daiki ran ahead, swinging his arms wildly, while I followed, feet crunching on the pavement.

We walked side by side, the rhythm of our steps silent except for the occasional hum or muttered remark from Daiki.

Then, halfway down the block, something caught our eyes. A crowd had gathered near the intersection up ahead, cordoned off with yellow tape. Police cars were parked haphazardly, lights flashing, and uniformed officers were trying to manage the chaos.

Daiki slowed immediately, frowning as he looked at the scene. “Not again… looks like another crime happened,” he muttered, his usual energy dimmed by unease.

We lingered at the edge of the crowd, watching the officers cordon off the area, taking statements, and snapping photos. People murmured, speculating, pointing fingers, but none of it mattered to me. I felt the same numb detachment I always did.

Daiki, on the other hand, seemed energized in a strange, restless way. His eyes darted between the police and the gathering crowd, almost like he was analyzing everything.

“Hey,” he said, nudging me with his elbow, “you know there’s a club at school for this kind of stuff, right?”

I turned slowly, giving him a blank look.

“The crime-solving club!” he continued, eyes sparkling. “They dig into weird cases, try to figure stuff out before the cops even do. It’s… well, it’s exactly what we’re seeing here. Isn’t that kind of cool?”

I shrugged. “Clubs are clubs. Boring.”

Daiki waved his hand dramatically, as if I’d just insulted the entire universe.

“Boring? Hotoke, this isn’t boring! This is real-life detective stuff! You’d actually get to do… stuff. Figure things out. Solve mysteries. Isn’t that better than sitting in class staring at your notebook all day?”

I stared at him, silent. The thought of actually caring about something… it was exhausting. But I couldn’t deny a small flicker of curiosity, a tiny pull that made me glance back at the police scene.

“Come on,” Daiki said, smirking. “I’ll join too. You know I can’t stop getting myself into trouble, so we might as well make it official. Think about it… us, solving crimes. Could be fun. Or dangerous. Or both. Either way, better than nothing, right?”

I didn’t answer immediately. I didn’t have to. Daiki’s grin was enough to plant the idea somewhere in my mind, like a seed I didn’t know I wanted to grow.

We continued down the street, the flashing lights of the police cars fading behind us. Daiki kept glancing back, clearly trying to gauge my reaction.

“So… what do you think? You in?” he asked again, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

I shook my head slowly. “Not interested.”

Daiki froze mid-step, blinking at me like I’d just told him the sky was green. “Wait… what? Not interested? Hotoke, come on! This is real-life detective stuff! Mysteries! Clues! Danger! How is that not interesting?”

I shrugged, dragging my bag a little heavier. “Sounds like too much effort. I don’t see why I’d bother.”

Daiki groaned, throwing his hands up. “Too much effort? Hotoke… everything is too much effort for you! I swear, sometimes I think you’re allergic to excitement.”

“Maybe I am,” I said flatly, not even looking at him.

He sighed, shaking his head, but didn’t push further at least, not yet. “Fine,” he muttered, but I caught the grin he tried to hide. “Suit yourself. But when you’re stuck staring at another boring wall of nothing, don’t say I didn’t try to drag you into something fun.”

We parted ways. He waves goodbyedbye and look at him leaving.

The walk home was quiet. Daiki’s chatter had faded behind me, replaced by the soft crunch of my shoes on the empty street. The evening air was cold, but I hardly noticed.

When I finally reached my house, the windows were dark, the door closed. No voices. No laughter. No life. Just me. I fumbled with the keys, the metal cold in my hand, and stepped inside.

The darkness swallowed me. The rooms were empty, echoing my movements with hollow indifference. The living room, the kitchen, the hallways, everything was exactly as it had been yesterday, and the day before. Nothing had changed. Nothing would change.

But is it wrong to hope it would change?..

is it wrong to still wait my mom, dad and my older brother welcome me and ask how’s my day?..

I dropped my bag by the door and let myself sink into the silence. No one called my name. No one asked how my day was. No one cared. The walls seemed to press in, black shadows pooling in the corners, matching the heaviness inside me.

The world outside might be loud, chaotic, full of people and crimes and excitement… but here, in this darkness, it was just me. Always just me.

And maybe that was the only thing I could count on.

……

The morning was the same as always. Silence. Darkness lingering at the edges of my room. My alarm hadn’t even bothered to sound—time had no meaning anymore. I lay there, staring at the ceiling, listening to the faint hum of the city outside, but it felt distant, like someone else’s life.

Nothing moved. Nothing mattered.

Then my phone buzzed on the bedside table. I barely stirred, reaching for it out of habit.

A dozen notifications lit up the screen.

“Hotoke! Are you awake??”

“Dude, seriously, answer me!”

“What’s going on, man? You okay??”

“I’ve been waiting outside your house, and no one answered…”

“Hotoke!!”

I frowned. My thumb hovered over the screen. Each message radiated Daiki’s chaotic energy—loud, insistent, impossible to ignore.

I scrolled through them mechanically, reading without really processing. His worry, his frantic energy, it was the same as always. He wouldn’t leave me alone. He wouldn’t let me vanish into silence.

I let out a slow, quiet sigh.

I’m… fine, I typed finally, fingers stiff, unwilling to give more. Not that he’d accept it, not that he’d stop.

stared at the screen for a long moment, thumb hovering over the keyboard. Fine. I typed, almost mechanically. I’m fine. Don’t worry.

Almost immediately, another message popped up:

“FINE?! You always say that. That’s not fine, Hotoke!”

I scrolled down, there’s dozens of messages, all flooding in like a relentless storm. Where are you? I’ll come over. Don’t make me come over.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. Words felt heavy. Breathing felt heavy. But the phone buzzed again. And again.

Finally, I typed back: “I said I’m fine. Just leave it.”

The reply was instantaneous:

“Nope. Not buying it. I’m coming. You can’t hide from me.”

I sighed, letting the inevitability sink in. Of course he wouldn’t just let me disappear. I didn’t want to see anyone. Didn’t want to move. Didn’t want… anything.

But I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop him.

A knock sounded on my door less than five minutes later. Loud. Persistent. Impossible to ignore.

“Hotoke! Open up! I know you’re in there!”

I lay back on my bed, staring at the ceiling, counting cracks as if they could shield me. But deep down, I knew I’d open the door eventually.

Because Daiki… always found a way in.

The knocking didn’t stop. Each thud against the wood sounded like it was shaking the quiet from my room. I rolled onto my side, staring at the floor. I didn’t want to move. I didn’t want to deal with anyone.

But the voice came next, cutting through the silence with relentless energy.

“Hotoke! I know you’re in there! Don’t make me break the door!”

I groaned, dragging myself out of bed. My feet felt heavy, each step a deliberate effort. The doorknob was cold in my hand. I twisted it slowly, opening the door just enough to peek out.

And there he was. Daiki. Standing there like a burst of sunlight I didn’t want but couldn’t ignore. Hair messy, bag slung over one shoulder, eyes wide and anxious. He spotted me immediately and grinned, as if nothing in the world could ever bring him down.

“Finally! About time, Hotoke! I was starting to think you’d disappear forever,” he said, shoving his hands into his pockets.

I leaned against the doorframe, silent. His energy washed over me, loud and impossible to shut out.

“Look, I know you don’t want to talk. You never want to talk,” he continued, voice softer now, just a little. “But you don’t have to go through everything alone, you know?”

I didn’t answer. Didn’t move. Words were useless anyway.

Daiki crouched slightly, meeting my gaze. “Come on. Let’s at least get breakfast. Or walk to school. Or… something. Just… be with me for a bit. You don’t have to say a word if you don’t want.”

I finally stepped aside, letting him in without a word. His grin widened, victorious.

“You’re lucky I like dragging you out of the void, Hotoke,” he said cheerfully, clapping me on the shoulder. “Now come on, the day isn’t going to waste itself!”

By midday, we found ourselves near the foothills of the nearby mountain. The climb had been easy for Daiki, who skipped ahead effortlessly, while I trudged behind, dragging my legs like they belonged to someone else.

When we reached a small clearing, he flopped onto the grass with a satisfied sigh, brushing dirt off his hands. I sat down beside him, letting the quiet stretch between us. No words were exchanged. Not that it mattered. The breeze carried the scent of grass and soil, and the sun was warm on our skin.

Daiki..

I watched him. Daiki always grinning, always loud, always corny. Even now, resting quietly, there was a faint smile on his face, like he couldn’t stop himself from smiling at the world, at me, at nothing at all. It annoyed me. Or maybe it intrigued me.

Why was he still here? Why did he care?

I turned my gaze fully toward him, trying to see what it was that made him keep coming back. Even when I didn’t respond. Even when I stayed silent. Even when I didn’t want him around.

Why did he always smile at me? Even when I was a dull shadow beside him. Always cheerful, always goofy, always… impossibly kind.

Was it… genuine? Or just his way of tolerating me?

I didn’t know. And part of me didn’t want to know. Yet I found myself studying him, tracing the lines of his face, the way his eyes crinkled slightly whenever his grin appeared, the ridiculous way he seemed to carry joy like it was a shield for both of us.

And I wondered, silently why Daiki? Why me? Why did he choose to stay by my side, even when I didn’t deserve it, even when life felt meaningless?

He was corny. Annoyingly, hopelessly corny. But somehow… sitting here, in the sun, on the mountain, in silence with him, it felt… lighter than usual.

I closed my eyes for a moment, the mountain breeze stirring memories I had long tried to bury.

I was six. Small. Fragile. Walking the familiar path back to my town alone. Everything felt… wrong, though I didn’t know why. The streets were empty, the houses silent. My family… they weren’t there.

I didn’t understand. At six, the word gone didn’t make sense. I believed, deeply, that they would come back. Any moment now, they’d appear at the end of the street, calling my name, smiling, and everything would be as it had always been.

But the murmurs started. People in the distance, whispering as I passed.

“He’s too young”

“He was surely traumatized”

“How sad… the poor little boy.”

“Too young to experience this… it’s cruel.”

Their voices were soft, pitying, but they cut sharper than any knife. I didn’t want their pity. I wanted my family.

And then it all came crashing down.

I sank to my knees in the middle of the empty street, tiny fists digging into the dirt, shaking uncontrollably. Tears streamed down my face, hot and relentless.

“They’ll come back! They’ll come back!” I screamed, though no one could hear me. “Please… come back!”

Then I felt it, a small hand, warm and steady, gripping mine.

I looked up. Ten-year-old Daiki stood there, grinning. The same grin I would remember forever, bright and unshakable. The grin before the world got cruel, before accidents and hardships could chip at it.

“Hey,” he said gently, his voice light, almost teasing, “get up. You’re not supposed to sit in the dirt like that.”

I blinked at him, stunned. Nobody had ever spoken to me like that before. Nobody had looked at me and treated me… like I still mattered.

I slowly open my eyes,

the ten-years-old boy who offers me his small hands was here, right besides me.

The sun had started its slow descent, painting the sky in streaks of orange and pink. We stayed on the grass a while longer, neither of us speaking, letting the quiet stretch around us. Eventually, Daiki let out a long sigh and stretched his arms.

“Well, I guess I should get going,” he said, hopping to his feet with his usual energy. “Work won’t do itself, unfortunately. Some poor world has to keep paying my bills.”

I didn’t respond, just watched him move, noting the familiar bounce in his step, the impossible grin he never seemed to lose.

Daiki glanced back at me, one eyebrow raised. “Oh, right. Before I forget… don’t just sit here doing nothing all day, alright? Eat something, get some fresh air, maybe… you know, exist a little beyond your bed.”

I said nothing.

“Fine, fine, I’ll take that as a promise,” he said, waving one hand dismissively, though his smile softened slightly. “I’ll be back later, so… don’t make me regret leaving you alone, alright?”

He gave me one last ridiculous grin, the same one I’d known for years, and turned toward the path leading back down the mountain.

I stayed on the grass, watching him go. Even as his figure grew smaller in the distance, his words lingered in the quiet around me. I also get stands up and I take my steps forward.

“It’s pretty tiring today..” I murmured.

The morning was quiet, almost unbearably so. I rolled over in bed, blinking against the weak light filtering through the blinds. My phone lay face down on the table, notifications absent.

No messages from Daiki. Not even one.

I frowned, fingers brushing the screen. Normally, there’d be a dozen texts by now. My thumb hovered over the app. Maybe he was busy. Maybe… something else.

I typed the only thing I could think of, a single question mark. “?”

I stared at it for a long moment before hitting send. Nothing. No reply. The silence on my phone felt heavier than the quiet of my room.

Without thinking too much, I grabbed my shoes and bag. Maybe he was at his apartment. I could check.

The walk there was slow. The streets were empty in the early morning light. My stomach felt hollow, though I didn’t recognize it as fear yet, just a quiet sense that something wasn’t right.

When I arrived, Daiki’s apartment door was closed. Not locked. I rang the bell once. Twice. Three times. Nothing.

“Daiki?” I called, my voice strange in the emptiness. No reply.

A slow, creeping unease settled over me. He wasn’t answering. That wasn’t like him. I tried the handle. The door gave way.

The apartment was quiet. Too quiet.

“Daiki…” My voice faltered. I stepped inside, shoes making soft echoes on the floor. Nothing looked out of place. No note. No sign of struggle. Just… nothing.

I moved toward the stairs, each step heavier than the last. My chest tightened. My heart thudded, but not loudly enough to fill the silence around me.

Then I saw it.

The door to his room was slightly ajar. I pushed it open.

And there he was.

“DAIKI!..”

Daiki, hanging from the ceiling. The rope tight around his neck. His body still. His smile,

my Daiki, the one who had always grinned through everything. frozen in a way it should never have been.

I stumbled back, the room spinning. My legs gave out. I sank to the floor, numb, staring at him.

“Daiki…” The word caught in my throat. My voice sounded distant, like it belonged to someone else.

I wanted to move. I wanted to scream. I wanted… anything. But my body refused.

The world felt impossibly heavy, empty in a way I hadn’t known it could be. He was gone. And the one person who had always pulled me out of nothingness… was gone.

I sank further to the floor, my chest tightening until I could barely breathe. My hands shook, fingers clawing at the air like I could grab him back.

“No… no, no, no!” I shouted, my voice cracking. “Why… why… why?!”

Tears blurred my vision. “You… you were fine yesterday! You were smiling! You were… happy! Why… why did this happen?!”

My knees hit the wooden floor, arms wrapping around myself as sobs tore out of me. I couldn’t understand. I refused to understand.

“You promised me! You promised! You said… you said you’d never leave me!” My voice was hoarse, broken. “You said I’d never be alone!”

I gritted my teeth, shaking, trembling, repeating his words over and over like a mantra, as if saying them might bring him back.

I buried my face in my hands, letting my body shake. The world felt hollow. The mountain of emptiness I had carried inside me for years was nothing compared to this.

Daiki… the boy who had always been there, always smiling, always pulling me out of nothingness… was gone. And for the first time, I didn’t know if I could even stand, if I could keep moving through a world that had stolen him from me.

I whispered, barely audible, almost a plea.

“Why… why didn’t you wait… why… why did you leave me… Daiki…”

Daiki..please..

I sank against the wall, chest heaving, tears falling like rain I couldn’t stop. My mind spun, but then… memories came, unbidden, like a cruel tide.

I remembered the mornings on the way to school, when Daiki would jog ahead and then suddenly stop, pretending to trip, only to grin and shout, “Watch out, Hotoke! I almost became a pancake for you!” I had rolled my eyes then, annoyed as always, but secretly… I had laughed.

I remembered the mountain, the flowers, the stupid rock he insisted he could hit perfectly. He had thrown it with a dramatic flourish and yelled, “Nailed it! Bet you can’t do that!” And I had stared, silent, but something in me had felt lighter.

I remembered the countless times he had cornered me in the hallway with his ridiculous energy, poking me, teasing me, shouting nonsense just to make me respond. “Hotoke! You look like a zombie again! Did the apocalypse finally catch up to you?” And I had muttered, exasperated, “Shut up…” but secretly, I had liked it.

I remembered his smile, the corny, impossible grin that could stretch across the darkest day, and how it never wavered, not even when I was at my worst. That stupid, shining grin had been my anchor.

I remembered the ten-year-old Daiki offering me a hand when I was six, crying on the street, telling me I mattered. That grin had been the same then, unwavering even when the world had been cruel.

And now… he was gone.

All the laughter, all the jokes, all the corny, ridiculous, impossible energy he had poured into my life vanished. The silence in the room felt heavier than ever, pressing down on me, suffocating me.

“Why… why did you leave me?” I whispered, voice breaking. “All your jokes… all your stupid smiles… they were supposed to stay. You promised… you promised…”

The memories kept coming, a relentless flood of color and light and noise in the midst of the dark emptiness. And with each memory, my sobs grew louder, my hands clawing at the floor as if I could dig back the years, claw back life itself.

Daiki… the boy who had thrown himself into my world like sunlight through clouds, the boy who had refused to let me disappear, the boy who had always been there… was gone.

And the silence he left behind was unbearable.

daiki..

go ahead, annoy me, be the corny guy I know, I would do everything you wish, just please…

Come back..

I stared at his dead body

“No! That’s not my daiki!” I shouted forcing myself to believe that was not the daiki I know, the corny guy I used to go with.

I finally dragged myself up from the floor, trembling, fingers slick with tears. My hands shook as I fumbled for my phone. Every nerve screamed, every thought was a haze of disbelief and terror.

I dialed the police number with fumbling fingers. My voice was barely steady.

“Hello… yes… I… I think… my friend… he… he’s…” I couldn’t finish the sentence. My throat tightened until all I could manage was a strangled whisper: “He’s… dead…”

Within minutes, the sound of sirens filled the street. Officers arrived quickly, their calm efficiency a stark contrast to the chaos inside me. I stepped aside as they moved through the apartment, checking the scene.

One of them, a tall officer with a somber expression, crouched beside Daiki’s body, carefully inspecting. He straightened and turned to me.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, his voice heavy with professionalism and sympathy. “He… he took his own life. Suicide. There’s no sign of foul play. I know this doesn’t make it easier, but that’s what we’ve confirmed.”

I said nothing, I just broke down to my knees, thinking how daiki was just fine yesterday.

The officer knelt beside me, placing a hand lightly on my shoulder. “I know it’s hard to accept, but it’s real. We’ll need a statement from you, and then… we’ll contact his family and handle the rest.”

I couldn’t respond. Words failed me. I could only remember his face, his grin, the corny jokes, the ridiculous energy he had always carried. And now… nothing.

He was gone.

The silence returned, heavier than before, pressing against my ears, my chest, my mind. The apartment once filled with the faint warmth of his presence was empty. Cold. Final.

And I was left alone.

After an hours of investigation

The police now gone. They also take daiki’s body.

The apartment door closed behind the last officer, leaving a silence that was heavier than the one that had been there before. I stood frozen in the empty hallway for a moment, breathing shallow, numb. Every step I took felt disconnected from my body, as if I were watching someone else move.

I left Daiki’s apartment without a word, ignoring the looks of neighbors who passed by. The streets were quiet, the morning sun now high and indifferent. My legs carried me automatically, one step after another, down familiar streets that suddenly felt alien.

By the time I reached my own apartment, my hands were trembling uncontrollably, my eyes red and raw. The door was dark and empty, just as it had always been. I opened it, dropped my bag, and sank to the floor in the middle of the room.