Secret Feelings

episode 1: The silent comparison

Time:- 9:47 PM

Private chat 💬

dekisugi

Hey Nobita. Are you still awake?

nobita

Yeah... I can't really sleep.

dekisugi

Same. Do you mind if we talk for a bit?

nobita

No, it's okay. What's up?

dekisugi

You were very quiet today at school.

nobita

Was I? I don't notice.

dekisugi

You always say that. But today felt different.

nobita

It was just another normal day. Bad test score, teacher scolding, Gian laughing.... Nothing special.

dekisugi

You forgot one thing.

nobita

What?

dekisugi

Everyone comparing you with me.

nobita

... Please don't say that.

dekisugi

why?

nobita

Because it's embarrassing. You always get full marks. And I... Barely pass.

dekisugi

Marks don't define a person.

nobita

That's easy for you to say.

dekisugi

Nobita, I... (typing stops)

nobita

It's fine. I'm used to it

dekisugi

That's what scares me.

nobita

Scares you?

dekisugi

Yes. That you think you deserve to feel small.

nobita

I am small.

dekisugi

No. You just don't see yourself clearly.

nobita

Then tell me what you see.

(Long pause)

dekisugi

I see someone who tries. Even when he knows he might fail.

nobita

Trying and failing isn't something to admire.

dekisugi

It is... When you don't give up.

nobita

I give up all the time.

dekisugi

But you still wake up the next day, don't you?

nobita

I don't have a choice.

dekisugi

You always have a choice.

Time: 9:59 PM

nobita

Why are you talking like this today?

dekisugi

Because I wanted to.

nobita

You don't usually message me this late.

dekisugi

I know.

nobita

Then why now?

(Dekisugi is typing... Stops... Typing again....)

dekisugi

Because today... When the teacher Praised me again, You looked down at your desk.

nobita

I don't want anyone to see my Face.

dekisugi

I saw it anyway.

nobita

Then you must've felt proud.

dekisugi

I felt guilty.

nobita

Guilty? Why?

dekisugi

Because I never wanted to be the reason you feel hurt.

nobita

You're not the reason. I'm just... not good enough.

dekisugi

Stop saying that.

nobita

It's the truth.

dekisugi

It's your truth. Not mine.

nobita

Then what am I to you?

(Long silence)

dekisugi

You're someone i notice. Even when no one else does.

nobita

You notice everyone. You're kind to all.

dekisugi

Not like this.

nobita

Like what?

(Typing...)

dekisugi

Like staying awake at night just to make sure you're okay.

nobita

... That's weird.

dekisugi

I know.

nobita

Why would you do that?

dekisugi

Because when you're sad, it feels like something inside me hurts too.

Time: 10:12 PM

nobita

Dekisugi... are you saying this out of pity?

dekisugi

nobita

Because I hate pity.

dekisugi

Then listen carefully.

nobita

I'm listening.

dekisugi

I admire you.

nobita

You admire... Me?

dekisugi

Yes.

nobita

You must be confused.

dekisugi

I've been confused for a long time.

nobita

About what?

dekisugi

About why your smile matters to me so much.

nobita

This doesn't make sense.

dekisugi

Feelings rarely do.

nobita

Your scaring me a little.

dekisugi

I'm sorry. I don't mean to.

nobita

It's just... no one ever talks to me like this.

dekisugi

Then let me be the first.

nobita

Why you?

dekisugi

Because I want to.

Time: 10:26 PM

nobita

My heart feels strange.

dekisugi

In a bad way?

nobita

I don't know. It's fast... and warm.

dekisugi

Then maybe it's not bad.

nobita

What if I misunderstand everything?

dekisugi

Then I'll explain. Slowly.

nobita

And if I don't feel the same?

dekisugi

Then I'll stay your friend. Nothing more.

nobita

you promise?

dekisugi

I promise.

nobita

... okay.

dekisugi

Okay?

nobita

Let's talk like this sometimes.

dekisugi

I'd like that.

nobita

Good night, dekisugi.

dekisugi

Good night, Nobita. Sweet dreams.

(Seen ✔️✔️)

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