Why is my life like this. Why, I did not ask to be born like this, to be hated and unloved. Is it really not worth it to me in this world? I do not ask for much, I also want to be cared like other siblings, loved, pampered like everyone else. I just want all this suffering to end. Like can’t it just end already. I once tried to commit suicide by hurting myself. I’m out of controlled. But thank god there’s someone try to stop me from doing the weird things. Yes true I get everything I want but love can’t buy with money. I just really hope one day I can live like others. Full with happiness but not sadness. '') Maybe for people this thing is trivial but for someone who like me they don’t think so because they were so sick to live in this cruel world. They smiles a lot in front of you but do you ever know the whole stories? Do you ever care? Life is sucks. S.U.C.K.S even sometimes when I’m in the group with my friends, we talk as usual but sometimes I think I’m overreacting and just want some attention. Like they don’t even fucking care about you. That’s hurt so much you know. Literally feel so weak ' “𝑖 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑠𝑘 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡𝒉𝑖𝑠 -- ” -Jungkook

On a beautiful morning, the birds chirped and there was still dew on the green grass. What a wonderful creation of God.

After cleaning myself I went down to the dining room for some breakfast and everyone was ready. They were waited for me to eat breakfast. -Jungkook

I knew it. She would be nagging at me again and again like there’s no tomorrow. My both parents has been so straight towards me because they want the best for me. I can only follow but they do not prevent me from going out with my friends like they never interfere in my personal life. And they will never care about me what people complain about is just my grades. Yes, they value grades more than their children's feelings. Why must it’s only me why my other’s sibling doesn’t get the same treat like me?. I’m just- Huh nevermind I was born into the world indeed to be tested by god: ') I’m okay. -Jungkook

I bowed a little bit before leaving the dining room. Fresh air near here. The fate of our house is close to the han river so I can walk near here. I plugged in my earphones and listen to the song «Still With You» well my all time fav hohoh \ (･ ◡ ･) / of course. I just enjoyed the beauty of God's creation, the wind blowing softly without realizing my cheeks were already wet with tears flowing remembering my fate. I also want to live like others with their small family. To be honest I'm jealous, jealous of other people. They were so happy with each other. Maybe some of them will say that 'you should be grateful you still have both of you mom and dad, they did that because they wanted the best for you' like if they always push me to do something I hate, they make me suffer , with studying 24 hours. How? Until sometimes I think I need to see a doctor because of depression. They wanted the best and do they ever ask about their child’s feeling? Deep inside my heart I know they still loves me but not this way. Yes, the name is more important than the child's feelings. But what can I do right. Just blind the eyes and mute the mouth. Later against the stamped rebellious child hahahaha. Fool. Keep it deep inside heart is the only way. I’m tired enough, too tired :) Why? Why do people never want to understand my feelings huh? I cried as much as I wanted. Release all that is on my shoulders. Let go of all the pain I endured and the sadness I went through all this time alone. I'm too tired, tired because I had to pass this test. I just hope someone understands me; but suddenly I felt someone holding my shoulder. -Jungkook

Oh God, she’s like an angel to me. Did you send her to cheer me up. She’s cute and pretty too. Hope to see you soon silly girl. Well I should go back first. If not I will be mad again for going out too long. Huh. When can I ended all of this? I’m not strong enough to go through all this. I just hope I could gain all of my strength and pretend to be the strongest girl in the world. Hide all the sadness and shows all the happy sides. Throw away all the pain and start a new life. I want it so bad. But I can’t really change the fact. How much I wish its come true though ..... sUcKs. -Jungkook