What if she didn't do that? What if she just... stopped? Stopped talking, stopped hoping, stopped feeling. What if she just shut it all down?

All those years of hiding, of convincing herself that maybe, just maybe... the other would consider her feelings. A foolish hope, a delusion her mind made up. Each time the other's words would crossed her thoughts, messing with her mind, disappointment settled in her heart, piercing it slowly,  painfully, until it got stuck there.

It was easier like this, safe. To simply build a wall, to become numb and letting her do what she wanted.

No expectations, no vulnerabilities, and most importantly, no pain.

Lost in this familiar spiral thoughts, Min didn't notice the insistent buzzing of her phone until it had vibrated against her cheek for the third time.

Min sighed. She finally reach for the device as the screen lit up again, displaying Rina's name in bold letters.

She hesitated.

It had been almost two weeks since they'd last spoken, two weeks of carefully avoiding each other's gaze, of pretending that everything was fine when it clearly wasn't. And now, out of the blue, Rina was calling.

With a heavy heart, Min swiped to answer.

Silence.

The silence stretched on, thick and uncomfortable. Neither of them spoke, neither of them offered a greeting. It was as if they were both holding their breath, waiting for the other to break first.

"Min? Can you... come over...? My parents were back on their business trip."

Min glanced out the window, her neighbors house was indeed dead again. She knew what Rina wanted, what she always wanted when she was alone.

"Sure." Brief and cold. The blonde knew she shouldn't go, that it was a mistake, that it would only lead to more pain. But she couldn't help herself. She never could.

Min pushed herself off the bed and headed downstairs. The house was silent, everyone else asleep. She tiptoed downstairs, grabbing her keys and a hoodie from the coat rack. The click of the door latch seemed deafening in the quiet house.

Stepping outside, she was met with the cool night air. The street was mostly deserted, save for a lone car speeding by in the distance. Across the street, Rina's house sat, no lights were on, the windows dark and uninviting.

With a sigh, she crossed the street, each step felt heavy against the pavement.

As she reached the  Yu's front door, she paused, her knuckles hovering just inches from the wood. She could still turn back. She could still choose to walk away.

Taking a shaky breath, she knocked softly, and then, before she even had a chance to process it, the door swung open, revealing Rina standing in the doorway.

Min stumbled, caught off guard by the sudden movement. Before she could regain her balance, warm arms wrapped tightly around her, pulling her close.

Then, Min felt it – the other's shoulder began to shake. She could hear the muffled cries, the choked sobs, the wet sniffles. Rina was crying.

"I'm sorry... I shouldn't have  said those words...to you... I didn't mean it, I didn't — I'm sorry..." Rina's voice cracked.

Min remained stiff. She didn't return the hug, didn't offer any words of comfort. Instead, she simply patted Rina's back, her gesture felt forced and empty.

The tears, the apologies – it was all too familiar. Min had been on the receiving end of Rina's remorse countless times before. And each time, she had allowed herself to be drawn back in, only to be hurt again.

"It's fine. I understand." Her voice flat, her words hollow.

Without waiting for a further response, Rina took Min's hand and led her into the living room.

The room was dimly lit, the only source of lights were the street lamps outside.  Rina guided Min to the sofa, and they both sat down.

But even as they sat, Rina didn't release the blonde. She remained close, her body pressed against Min's side, her hand still clasped tightly in the other. It was too close, too intimate, too much. Min could already feel the warmth from Rina's body, the  scent of her favorite sweet perfume, the weight of her presence.

The blonde wanted to pull away, to create some space between them, but she didn't. She simply sat there, uncomfortably rigid and unyielding, allowing Rina to cling to her, always, found herself unable to resist.

"I shouldn't have made you feel unimportant Min... I shouldn't have blown my frustrations to you... I'm sorry...if I... if I couldn't reciprocate your feelings towards me... I—"

"It's fine, Rina," Min cut her off, the words cold and dry. "I get it. You don't have to keep apologizing." She wanted to shut down the conversation, to avoid the messy, uncomfortable feelings that Rina's words stirred up.

Rina's grip on the other's hand tightened.  "So... does this mean... can we still be friends? Like we were before — before all this... stuff?"

Min looked away, her gaze fixed on some random point on the opposite wall.

Could she really separate her feelings, shove them back into the box and pretend they didn't exist? Could she settle for friendship when the truth is, she wanted so much more?

Rina's pleading eyes were fixed on her, waiting.

"Yeah..." she said, forcing a small, tight smile. "We can still be friends."

But the words felt like a lie.

"How are things going with... Sunghoon?" Min asked, desperately changing the subject,or specifically wanted to know something.

The name left the blonde's mouth like a sandpaper. Sunghoon. The guy who had confessed his feelings first, the guy who had effortlessly captured Rina's attention, the guy who had, in Min's mind, stolen her away.

She tried to keep her expression neutral, but she could already feel her chest clenching. She wanted to know if Rina was happy, truly happy. But a part of her, a small, spiteful part, desperately hoped that things weren't as perfect as they seemed.

However, the brunette's lips curved upwards, a genuine smile spreading across her face.

"We're... happy. Thank you for asking."

Min feigned a smile in return, trying to mirror the other's, but it felt strained. She hated this, hated the charade, hated the fact that she was pretending to be happy for someone who had unknowingly broke her heart.

"Actually," Rina continued, her eyes suddenly sparkling with excitement, "we were just talking about this the other day. A bunch of us are planning a trip to Jeju next month. You know, like a friend's getaway. And I was wondering... if... would you want to come with us?"

The blonde wanted to scoff or snicker and say a word of sarcasm. Jeju. A beautiful island, a romantic destination, designed for hand-holding strolls on the beach and whispered sweet nothings under the moonlight.

The thought of being surrounded by Rina and Sunghoon, witnessing their happiness firsthand, was almost unbearable.

But then, another thought flickered in her mind.  Maybe this could be a distraction. A chance to get away, to clear her head, to prove to herself that she could handle being around Rina without falling apart. Plus, she knew that some of her other friends would be going, so it wouldn't be a complete couples-fest.

"Hmm," Min hummed, pretending to consider the offer. "Jeju, huh? Sounds... interesting."

She paused, then added, "If I go, I'm bringing someone with me. Hope that's okay?" It wasn't a question, really, more of a statement of intent.

Rina's eyebrows shot up, surprise flickering in her eyes before she could mask it.

"Oh? Who are you thinking of inviting?"

Min met her gaze, challenging, and almost provoking.

"Miyeon."

Min watched as Rina's smile faltered, then vanished completely. She knew that Rina didn't particularly like Miyeon. In fact, she actively avoided her. Miyeon was too confident, too outspoken, too effortlessly cool for Rina's taste.

And that, of course, was precisely why Min had chosen her.

Rina didn't respond, didn't try to argue like she used to do whenever the blonde mentioned the girl.

"Oh, that's nice." She just sat there, just staring at the other, her lips pressed into a thin, disapproving line.

Min couldn't stand it anymore. The passive aggression, the silence, and the constant need to tiptoe her way around Rina's feelings.

Slowly, Min unclasped the brunette's tight grip on her hand, her fingers peeling away one by one. Then, she stood up.

"Right," The blonde said, her voice devoid of emotion. "It's getting late. I should probably get going."

She didn't wait for a response, didn't offer an explanation, didn't even bother with a goodbye. She just turned and walked towards the door, her hand reaching for the cold metal knob.

"Min..."

Rina's voice, soft and hesitant, stopped her in her tracks.

"Can... can you stay?Just... just for a little while? Like we used to? You know, when my parents were away?"

The words were tempting, an invitation to return to the warmth and comforting past that they shared.

Min's heart ached, but she forced herself to resist.

Without turning around, without allowing herself to meet Rina's  gorgeous eyes, Min spoke.

"Rina," she said, "just because I said I could be your friend again doesn't mean we're ready to be... that close again. And honestly, I'm tired of always being by your side when you need me, but you're gone when I need you. Good night Yu."

With that, she opened the door and stepped out. Min knew that things had changed. The friendship they once shared was now tainted by unspoken desires and unrequited feelings. And she was trapped, caught in a web of her own making, unable to break free.

But.

If Rina wanted to play this game of cat and mouse, of hinting and withdrawing, of testing the boundaries of their relationship, then Min would play along. She wouldn't chase, wouldn't beg. She would meet Rina's games with games of her own.

If Rina wanted a challenge, then Min would give her one. If Rina wanted to see how far she was willing to go, then Min would show her. She wouldn't be the eager, desperate friend anymore.

The game had changed, and Min was ready to play by the new rules.

I can still smell her on me. It's faint, but it's there – that sweet strawberry thing she wears, mixed with something that just smells like Rina.

Last night was... a lot. I don't know if I said too much? Not enough? Was I being a complete ass, or was I finally standing up for myself?

Fuck that.

I roll over, shoving my face into the pillow. This is exhausting. This whole Rina thing... it's just so damn complicated.

"Min! Are you even up yet?" Eomma's voice boomed from downstairs. "Can you look after your little brother for a while? I need to go to the market, I need those big fat fishes today."

I groaned. Now? Of all times... babysitting duty is the last thing I need right now. But what can I do, I love them both.

"Yes, eomma! I'll be down in two, just changing!" I pulled my shirt up. I should probably get used to keep my hands to myself when we're together.

I threw on a clean shirt and headed downstairs, the weight of my Rina-related anxieties still heavy on my shoulders. But as I walked into the living room, the sight of my eomma and baby brother instantly shifted my mood.

Eomma was on the floor, making silly faces at Ahreum, who was bouncing in his little jumper, his chubby cheeks flushed with excitement. As soon as he saw me, his face lit up, and he started kicking his legs even harder.

A smile tugged at my lips, and I couldn't help but crouch down and join in the fun.

"Aigoo, uri Ahreum-ie! Who's Eomma's handsome boy? You are! You are!" I cooed, pinching his cheek gently.

Ahreum squealed with delight, his gummy smile wide and infectious. He reached out for me with his tiny hands, babbling excitedly.

"Ehhh! Mi! Mi!" ( Ahreum was trying to say Min )

"Yes, yes, I know! You're the cutest baby brother in the world!" I replied in my best baby talk, making silly faces and waving my hands in the air.

Ahreum burst into a fit of giggles, his whole body shaking with laughter. The sound was so pure, so innocent, that it instantly melted away all the tension and frustration I had been feeling just moments before.

Eomma stood up, dusting off her pants.

"Okay, Min, so Ahreum needs a diaper change soon, probably after —"

I cut her off, knowing the routine by heart.

"Eomma, I know. Diaper change, milk. I got it. You told me a million times already."

She chuckled, shaking her head.

"Just making sure. And if he starts crying a lot, check if he's too hot or too cold. You know how sensitive he is."

"Eomma! I've taken care of Ahreum before, remember? I'm not going to let him starve or freeze to death." I said, rolling my eyes playfully.

"Alright, I'm going, I'm going. Just be careful, okay? And don't spend the whole time on your phone." She gave me and Ahreum a peck on the cheek. "I'll be quick, just need to get those fish for tonight. Annyeong!"

And with that, she was out the door, leaving me alone with my giggling baby brother and a whole morning to fill.

Barely five minutes after eomma left, someone knocked. I glanced over at the door, a little annoyed.I was just starting to enjoy my time with Ahreum.

"Coming!" I called out, carefully placing Ahreum back in his jumper. He gave a little grumble of protest, but I grabbed his favorite rattle and shook it in front of him. Instant distraction.

I walked to the door, wondering who it could be. Probably Mrs. Kim, our kind neighbor ahjumma, wanting to give us her famous cookies again. I reached for the doorknob and pulled it open.

But instead of the ahjumma, standing there, with messy hair framing her sleepy face, was Rina. She looked like she had just rolled out of bed, wearing an oversized t-shirt and a pair of rumpled shorts. Despite the disheveled appearance, she was still breathtakingly beautiful.

My mind went blank.

What was she doing here?

"Oh, hey! Good morning, Min." Rina said, her voice still a little raspy with sleep. "I saw your mom drove off and thought I'd come over and say hi. Hope I'm not intruding."

Her eyes were already glued to Ahreum, and her grin widened.

"Aww, look at Ahreum-ie! He's getting so big!" She looked back at me, all bright-eyed. "Can I come in and say hi? Please?"

I sighed, running a hand through my blonde hair. Of all the mornings... I really wasn't prepared for this. It's not like I could just slam the door in her face.

"Yeah, sure, come on in." I mumbled, stepping aside to let her pass.

I just stood there, leaning against the wall. She got down on her knees, making goofy faces and talking to him in that baby voice everyone seems to use.Ahreum, of course, ate it up, giggling and reaching for her.

It was actually kind of sweet, seeing them together. But still... I had a feeling there was more to this visit.

"So," I said, cutting through the baby talk. "What's the real deal? You didn't just come over here to play with my brother, did you?"

Rina glanced up at me, still bouncing Ahreum gently.

"Oh, right! I almost forgot." She paused, nodding on whatever my brother was trying to say. "Remember that trip to Jeju we were planning for next month? It got moved! We're leaving the day after tomorrow!"

"Wait, what? Why so soon?" I asked, surprised. I haven't mention it to eomma yet.

Rina shrugged, still mostly focused on Ahreum.

"Well, Sunghoon might not be able to make it next month, something about a family thing. And since we were planning on being there for like, a whole month, we figured we should just go now, while we can. It's only August 2nd, might as well get there earlier, right?"

Figures.

I thought, rolling my eyes internally. It's always her boyfriend.

I watched her for a few minutes, all baby-talking and playing with Ahreum. She seemed genuinely happy.

I still felt like something was up, but whatever.

"Hey." I said, after a bit. "You eat yet? Breakfast, I mean."

Rina looked up, shaking her head.

I walked into the kitchen and saw a stack of golden-brown pancakes sitting on the table, covered with a cloth napkin. Eomma's pancakes are the best I'm telling you.

I grabbed two plates, ready to dish them out, when I heard my phone ringing from the living room.

"Min!" Rina yelled from the other room. "Your phone's ringing! It says... Jagii?"

Well, shit.

I bolted back to the living room, grabbing my phone off the coffee table. Rina was giving me the blank look as I glanced at the screen - it was Miyeon, I nicknamed Jagii on her just to tease her, but I didn't know that Rina would see it.

Who cares by the way? No one.

I took a few steps away from her, towards the hallway, before answering. "I got it, Yeon. What's up?" I mumbled, already heading back to the kitchen.

"Just wanted to confirm about the trip." Miyeon said on the other end. " I managed to clear my schedule! I can come with you guys!"

"Seriously? That's awesome!" I said, grinning. "But actually... something came up and the trip got resched.  I'll let you know the details later. Gotta go, making coffee right now."

I hung up and started busying myself with the coffee machine, measuring out the grounds. I was just adding the water when suddenly, a pair of hands wrapped around my stomach from behind, making me flinch.

I already knew who it was, just from the scent of her perfume.

"Rina, seriously, what are you doing?" I asked, trying not to sound freaked out.

She just stayed silent.

Then I felt her hands start to move, slowly, finding their way inside my shirt. My stomach instantly retracts as her cold hands came in contact with my bare skin. Goosebumps crawled all over my body.

I shut my eyes tightly, trying to control myself.

"That was Miyeon, wasn't it?" Rina whispered, her breath warm, tickling against my nape.

I swallowed hard.

This thing with us is not gonna happen again.

I took a deep breath, trying to regain every ouce of self control in me. I was done with this. Rina was probably just messing with me again, trying to get a rise out of me.

Without second thoughts, I unwrapped her hands from around my waist and turned to face her, a playful smirk on my lips, then tilting my head a little.

"Missed touching me already?" I said, raising an eyebrow.  I step closer, almost closing the gap between us. Almost.

Rina's eyes widened, she seemed to forget how to blink for a second, totally caught off guard.

She definitely hadn't expected that.

I gave her a smug look, kinda enjoying her being all flustered. I reached out and gently pulled her closer, my hands settling on her waist.

I leaned in, whispering in her ear, " I can't let you touch me anymore, not when you used that hands for... experimental purposes." I made sure that my lips would grazed her cheek.

Rina immediately backed away, placing both hands on my chest to create some distance. She avoided my eyes, but I could see her ears turning bright red.

I turned back to the counter, trying to hide my self- satisfied smile.

"Hey..." Rina said, her voice a little quieter now. "Are you... are you really sure about inviting Miyeon?"

I grinned, not turning around. "Yep." I said, popping the 'p'. "Absolutely."

The day of the trip to Jeju finally arrived. My bed was a mess of clothes, snacks, and open-packed bags. My mom was here, checking and rearranging everything I did, and somehow managing to both help and stress me out at the same time.

"Min-ah, are you sure you have everything?" she asked, poking around in my suitcase like she expected to find something missing.

"Yes, eomma. I've checked three times already. Passport, phone, charger, embarrassing amount of snacks... I'm good." I said, zipping the bag that she opened last two seconds ago.

"Good, good. Now, listen to me. Take care of yourself, okay? Jeju is beautiful, but don't forget to eat properly and get enough sleep." She patted my shoulders and squeezing it lightly. I just nodded, grabbing my suitcase and my bag.

"And please, if anything comes up,  you call me, arasseo?" My mom loves me too much, she was now tearing up. I give her a quick hug.

"I will, now wipe those tears cause we're not climbing Mt. Everest or trying to wrestle grizzly bears. Love you!"

"Love you too, Min-ah. Have fun, be safe, and send me pictures!" She stood by the door, watching me grab my things.  With a final wave, I headed downstairs, ready for this exciting trip.

We all agreed to meet up at Gimpo Airport. The subway was packed, and I spent the whole ride trying not to doze off because eomma woke me up at two in the morning for a pre-trip pep talk. She robbed me of two precious hours of sleep.

When I finally made it to the waiting area, I spotted Aeri and Jay right away. Mostly because they were wearing outfits that were way too fancy for a casual trip to an island.

Aeri was decked out head to toe designer, paired with a tiny purse that probably couldn't even fit a phone, while Jay was wearing a blazer and perfectly styled hair like he was about to close a major business deal instead of going sightseeing.

I walked towards them, fighting back a snort.

"Wow. Someone's overdressed for the occasion. Did you guys think we were going to the Met Gala in Jeju?" I said, trying to keep a straight face.

Just then, the rest of our group started showing up. Ningning was the first, and her eyes immediately went to the two, mouth agape.

"Are you kidding me right now? You guys look like you're going to a wedding, not a vacation." she said, shaking her head. Well, she has a point.

Yeji, Ryujin, and Miyeon arrived next, exchanging amused glances. Even Jake and Yuqi, who were usually pretty chill, couldn't hide their surprise.

"Guys, we're going to be hiking. You know, walking uphill? For hours?" Ryu pointed out sarcastically, earning an arm smack from the person beside her, Yeji.

"Look, a girl never knows who she might meet. And I want to look my best." Aeri said defensively.

"Yeah, you might meet a park ranger who'll tell you you're overdressed." Jake deadpanned, and a few of us chuckled.

"Sorry we're late! The traffic was insane. But enough about that, let's get going! I want to get to Jeju before sunset."

Rina and Sunghoon finally showed up, obviously, hand in hand.

Then someone bumped my shoulder, I glanced beside me and saw Miyeon standing there with a grin on her face.

"Excited?" she asked.

"Yea... can't wait." I saw how Rina's eyes swept over the group, they paused on me, flicking on Miyeon for a beat. Sunghoon, noticing his girlfriend, wrapped an arm around her shoulders and gave her a gentle squeeze. She blinked, and her usual bright smile was back in place.

"Okay, people, let's move it! Jeju, here we come."

~•~

I ended up sitting between Ryu and Jake. The flight took off, and for a while, everyone was occupied with their phones or trying to get comfortable. Then, out of nowhere, Ryu turned to me.

"This might be the right opportunity to talk to you." She whispered, leaning close to me. "Why did you confess to you-know-who? Knowing that the guy already got her? I mean, you basically ignored all of us after our graduation, which was just two weeks ago." I glance at Jake, who's chilling on his chair, headphones on, eyes closed.

Of all the times and places to bring this up, Ryu chose a cramped airplane cabin thousands of feet in the air.

"Ryu, can we not do this right now? This isn't exactly the time or place." I whispered back. This was not a good idea.

"Then when is? You disappeared on us, Min. We were all worried. And then we find out you confessed to her? Seriously?" She won't give up on this, I swear.

I sighed.

"It's complicated. And it's not something I want to discuss in front of everyone." It's complicated cause your other friend right there, kissed me after I confessed to her, then started lashing out at me.

"Then explain it to me. Why? Why her? You know she's not frickin' bendable." she pressed. Oh, my friend, you don't know her that well.

I closed my eyes for a moment, gathering my thoughts.

"Okay, fine. I've had feelings for her for years, okay? Since freshman year. I know she's with you-know-who, and I knew it was a long shot, but I just... I had to tell her. I couldn't keep it in any longer." Her eyes widen. That's how secretive I am.

"Years? You never said a word." I nodded.

"I was stupid. But it doesn't matter now. She's happy with him, and that's all that matters." So happy that she's still flirting with me.

I took a deep breath. Trying to convince my good friend here that I want to end this already.

"Look, can we just drop it? I don't care anymore. I just want to enjoy this trip with you guys. I missed you all, and I don't want to spend the whole time rehashing something that's in the past. Can we please just move on?" I looked at her pleadingly.

"I get it. We'll drop it." She then nudged me playfully. "But seriously, Min, you're wasting your time. You need to find someone who actually appreciates you. I'm gonna help you find someone who's dying to taste you, I swear." She winked.

"Thanks, Ryu. I appreciate that." Although I already planned everything.

"Anytime." she replied, slapping my knee. "Now, let's ditch this depressing topic and focus on getting drunk in Jeju. But for now, let's sleep yea?" Ryu adjusts her eye mask and gets comfortable on her seat.

I leaned my head on the backrest, we still have an hour to get there, might as well sleep it off.

~•~

I stirred awake, feeling someone gently shaking my shoulder.

"Hey, sleepyhead. We're here." Jake was now standing and the other seats were already empty.

"Oh, and uh, maybe wake Ryu up too? I don't think anyone wants to carry her off the plane. Come on, everyone's already getting their stuff. Don't want to get left behind, do you?" Yea, Ryu's a grumpy person when someone wakes her up on her princess-like slumber.

"Ryu, wake up, we landed already." Her mouth hung open, with a drool on the side on her mouth. Princess-like, told ya.

"Huh? What's going on?" she mumbled, rubbing her eyes. She sat up straight, looking around in confusion. "Oh, we're here? Already?" She stretched, stifling a yawn. "Alright, alright, I'm up. Let's go."

After gathering our luggage and navigating the bustling Jeju Airport, we finally arrived at the hotel.

It was a modern, sleek building with a view of the ocean in the distance.

"Okay, guys. We're here for a couple of days to relax and recharge before our camping adventure. Let's make the most of it!" Rina announced. The plan was simple — explore the local area, indulge in some delicious Jeju cuisine, and prepare ourselves for the rugged camping experience that awaited us for the rest of the month.

"Alright, so here's the room situation." Sunghoon said, holding up the key cards. "Jake, Jay and I, in room 19, since we're the only guys here. Min, Rina, Miyeon, and Aeri, you're in room 17. And Yeji, Ryu, Yuqi, and Ningning, in room 20. Everyone got it?" They nodded in agreement, grabbing our respective key cards and heading towards the elevators.

Damn, he really placed her girlfriend inside my space? How ironic.

As we entered our room, Miyeon turned to me.

"So I was thinking, since you and Rina are basically inseparable, you guys can share a bed.  And Aeri and I can take the other one. Cool?"  She paused, looking from me to Rina and then to Aeri. "What do you guys think? Any preferences?"

Rina just shrugged, placing her things inside. She stayed silent. I wonder why?

Then Aeri chimed in. "Honestly, I don't mind either way. Whatever works for everyone else is fine with me." She said, already unpacking one of her luggages out of six of them. She packed a lot, that's Aeri for you.

Well, I have to vote too.

"Actually, I was kinda hoping you and I could share, Miyeon?"

I said, trying to keep my eyes mostly on Miyeon but out of the corner of my eyes, I caught Rina rolling her eyes. She mumbled something, her words were too low for anyone to hear clearly, but she definitely acted... annoyed.

A small smirk tugged at the corner of my lips. Oh, this is going to be a hella fun of vacation.