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Scared of Lost

CHAPTER 1

Alessandro De Luca — 45

CEO. Old Italian power.

Steel spine. Cold eyes. Money like oxygen.

A man who owns cities, not hearts.

Ruthless in business

Emotionally absent

Believes providing \= loving

Drinks to forget guilt he never names

He doesn’t look at his husband because looking would mean remembering.

Matteo de Luca 36 years old

Second husband. Soft. Quiet. Italian gentleness.

A man who learned early that love is something you wait for, not demand.

Rare intersex condition allowing pregnancy

Lives on yearning, not expectation

Loves silently, deeply, destructively

Carries shame that isn’t his

He still hopes. That’s his tragedy.

Giulia De Luca — 17

Alessandro’s daughter from his first wife.

Sharp tongue, guarded heart

Loyal to her father

Sees Matteo as intrusion, not enemy

Learnt cruelty from silence

She isn’t evil. She’s defensive.

Matteo’s son. The “accident.”

Quiet, observant

Fiercely attached to Matteo

Knows he wasn’t wanted by his father

Carries tenderness like a wound

He notices everything. Especially what hurts his parent.

Let's start

One year into the marriage.

A night Alessandro doesn’t remember—but Matteo does.

Not romance.

Not love.

A violation disguised as drunkenness.

Pregnancy followed.

And Alessandro decided to call the child a “mistake” instead of a consequence.

That word lives in Matteo’s bones.

Morning in the De Luca House

The house woke before the sun.

Marble floors held the cold of the night; curtains breathed faintly as Rome stirred beyond the gates. In the east wing, Alessandro De Luca was already awake, dressed in a charcoal suit, cufflinks precise, expression unreadable. He drank his espresso standing, phone in one hand, empire in the other.

Power did not sleep in this house.

Love did.

In the west wing, Matteo woke to the sound of footsteps that were never coming toward him.

He lay still for a moment, one hand resting unconsciously over his stomach—a habit from years ago, never broken—then he sat up, careful not to make noise. He always moved like that. As if space itself might object to him.

He dressed simply. Soft wool sweater. Loose trousers. Nothing that asked to be noticed.

When he stepped into the hallway, the maids were already working. They nodded politely. Some didn’t. One brushed past him without apology.

Matteo murmured, “Buongiorno,” anyway.

No one answered.

Breakfast

The table was long enough to seat twelve.

Only four chairs were ever used.

Alessandro sat at the head.

Giulia to his right—perfect posture, phone ignored when he spoke.

Lorenzo beside Matteo, knees tucked close, shoulder brushing his parent’s arm like an anchor.

Matteo poured Lorenzo’s juice first. Cut his toast into triangles without being asked. Smiled softly.

“Eat,” he whispered.

Lorenzo did. He always did—for Matteo.

Alessandro read the financial paper. He did not look up when Matteo sat down. He did not look up when Matteo reached for the coffee pot and found it empty.

A maid refilled Alessandro’s cup immediately.

Matteo waited.

Giulia noticed. She always noticed. She said nothing.

Silence was the family language.

CHAPTER 2

Small Things

After breakfast, Alessandro left with a kiss pressed to Giulia’s hair.

A hand on Lorenzo’s shoulder. Brief. Obligatory.

Nothing for Matteo.

Matteo watched the door close. He always did.

Only then did he breathe out.

He spent his mornings in quiet usefulness—organizing the house, managing charity accounts Alessandro never asked about, checking Lorenzo’s schoolwork, folding laundry that wasn’t his.

At noon, he ate alone in the kitchen.

Sometimes the cooks forgot his preferences.

Sometimes they forgot him entirely.

He never complained.

Afternoon Cracks

Giulia returned from school sharp-edged, irritated by something Matteo would never be told about. She passed him in the corridor and didn’t meet his eyes.

" father won’t be home tonight,” she said flatly.

Matteo nodded. “Alright.”

She hesitated. Just a fraction. Then:

“You don’t have to wait up.”

As if he ever did.

Night

Lorenzo knocked before entering Matteo’s room. Always polite. Always careful.

“Can I sleep here?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

Matteo smiled. “Of course.”

They lay side by side, the boy’s head on his chest, listening to a heart that had learned to survive too much.

“Papà,” Lorenzo murmured, half-asleep.

“Mm?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Matteo closed his eyes.

Outside, Alessandro’s car returned late.

Footsteps passed Matteo’s door.

They did not stop.

One Evening — The Interruption

The De Luca study smelled of leather, espresso, and old power.

Alessandro sat behind his desk, jacket off, sleeves rolled with mechanical precision. The city glowed beyond the windows like something he owned by birthright.

The door opened without a knock.

That alone said everything.

Mikhail Volkov came in first—tall, broad-shouldered, eyes sharp with the kind of loyalty that had survived wars and scandals. Behind him, quieter but no less dangerous, Sergei Antonov, hands in his pockets, gaze already dissecting the room.

Alessandro didn’t look up.

“You’re late.”

Mikhail laughed once. No humor in it.

“We didn’t come to talk about the company.”

That made Alessandro pause.

Sergei closed the door. Softly. Deliberately.

“How long,” Sergei asked calmly, “are you planning to keep pretending your house isn’t rotting from the inside?”

Silence thickened.

Alessandro leaned back slowly. “Careful.”

Mikhail stepped forward, palms on the desk. “No. You be careful. Because I’ve watched you destroy enemies with less patience than you’re using to destroy your own husband.”

The word husband landed hard.

Alessandro’s jaw tightened. “This is none of your—”

“How much time,” Mikhail cut in, voice rising, “do you need to tell Matteo that you love him?”

Alessandro stood.

The room seemed smaller suddenly.

“I don’t love him,” he said flatly.

Sergei’s eyes flicked—not to Alessandro’s face, but to his hands. They were clenched.

“Lie better,” Sergei said quietly. “You’re insulting us.”

Truth Pressed Open

Mikhail exhaled, running a hand through his hair.

“I see how he looks at you,” he said. “Like you’re still a possibility. Like hope hasn’t finished humiliating him yet.”

Alessandro turned away, staring out the window.

“You think I don’t know?” he said lowly. “You think I don’t see him flinch when I walk past? You think I don’t hear how the staff speaks when I’m not there?”

“Then why,” Sergei asked, voice sharp now, “do you allow it?”

Because if I acknowledge him, Alessandro thought, I’ll have to acknowledge what I did.

He didn’t say that.

Instead he said, “Because this marriage was a mistake.”

Mikhail slammed his fist onto the desk.

“No. The violence was a mistake. Matteo wasn’t.”

The name hung there. Warm. Human.

Alessandro swallowed.

“You forced him into a life where he waits for crumbs,” Mikhail went on. “And the worst part? He’d forgive you if you gave him anything real.”

Sergei stepped closer. “He’s not asking for weakness. He’s asking to be seen.”

Alessandro laughed under his breath. Short. Hollow.

“You don’t understand,” he said. “If I let myself—”

“If you let yourself love him?” Mikhail snapped. “What? You’ll break? You’ll feel guilt?”

Alessandro turned back, eyes dark.

“I’ll lose control.”

Sergei’s voice softened. “You already have. You’re just losing it quietly.”

CHAPTER 3

Elsewhere in the House

Matteo stood in the hallway outside the study.

He hadn’t meant to listen.

He never did.

But voices carried. And names cut through walls.

Love.

Mistake.

Matteo.

His fingers curled into the fabric of his sweater. He didn’t cry. He hadn’t cried in years.

He turned away silently, footsteps careful, returning to the room where Lorenzo waited with homework and unasked questions.

Somewhere behind him, Alessandro De Luca was being told the truth.

And for the first time in years—

he couldn’t dismiss it.

Lorenzo (Pov)

Lorenzo learned early how to stand.

Back straight.

Chin lifted.

Hands still.

Every time Alessandro passed, Lorenzo did it automatically. Not out of respect—out of instinct. Like a soldier saluting a superior officer he did not trust.

“Sir,” he said. Always sir.

Never papà. Not even once.

Alessandro noticed. Of course he did. He noticed everything that challenged him. But he mistook it for discipline. For good upbringing.

He never asked why.

Lorenzo watched the house the way other boys watched football. He noticed patterns.

How maids softened their voices for Giulia and sharpened them for Matteo.

How plates reached his mother last—if they reached him at all.

How Matteo smiled even when ignored, like smiling might earn him permission to exist.

Lorenzo hated that smile.

At night, when Matteo thought he was asleep, Lorenzo listened to the quiet breaks in his breathing. The pauses that meant don’t cry. The swallow that meant not now.

That was when the decision began forming.

A Promise Without Words

One evening, Matteo burned dinner.

It was nothing. Truly nothing.

But Alessandro looked at the plate, then at Matteo, and said calmly,

“Have the staff handle it next time.”

Not cruel.

Not loud.

Worse.

Matteo nodded. “Of course.”

Lorenzo’s fingers tightened around his fork.

Later, in Matteo’s room, Lorenzo sat on the edge of the bed while Matteo folded laundry that didn’t need folding.

“Papà,” Lorenzo said suddenly.

Matteo looked up. “Yes, amore?”

“Why do you stay?”

The question landed heavy.

Matteo opened his mouth. Closed it. Then smiled—that same soft, dangerous smile.

“Because families are complicated,” he said.

Lorenzo shook his head. “No. They’re not.”

Matteo stilled.

Lorenzo met his eyes. Steady. Too steady for fifteen.

“You deserve better,” he said quietly.

Matteo’s breath hitched. Just once.

He reached out, cupped Lorenzo’s cheek. “You’re still a child,” he whispered. “You shouldn’t think about these things.”

But Lorenzo already had.

That night, lying awake, he stared at the ceiling and made a vow no one heard.

I will take him away.

I will grow faster.

I will become dangerous if I have to.

He will not disappear quietly.

The Distance

From then on, Lorenzo withdrew further from Alessandro.

No defiance.

No rebellion.

Just distance sharpened into resolve.

When Alessandro placed a hand on his shoulder, Lorenzo endured it like a formality.

When Alessandro spoke, Lorenzo listened without warmth.

Alessandro felt it.

A son who looked at him not with fear—but with judgment.

And that unsettled him more than hatred ever could.

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