"No, Mom. I'm not going with you both. I already have my own plans."

I didn't understand why Mom was insisting so much. She had never behaved like this before.

"But, sweetie , you should-"

"No. No 'but,' Mom. I want to celebrate New Year with my friends. I don't want to attend another boring relatives' party."

Finally, after so long, I had a chance to relax. I wasn't going to ruin it for something so dull.

"Sweet..."

"It's okay, honey." Dad spoke up while fixing his tie. "If she doesn't want to join us, let her be. She rarely gets a chance to enjoy her life."

He was standing there in a perfectly stitched black suit, looking effortlessly handsome.

"Thanks, Dad, for taking my side," I said, hugging him tightly.

"I'm always on your side, sweety," he smiled, hugging me back.

"Huh! I can't compete with this father-daughter duo," Mom finally gave up and walked out.

"You're looking really handsome, Dad," I teased.

"Hahaha! Thanks, sweetie."

"Take care of yourself-and don't be late," he added before walking after her.

I followed them to the door.

They walked ahead of me, fingers intertwined, while I trailed behind at a small distance. I felt overwhelmingly happy-like the luckiest girl in the world. I had the best parents anyone could ask for. I had already accomplished my dream.

I was smiling brightly when suddenly-

Everything began to vanish.

Mom and Dad's silhouettes started fading into nothingness. My smile disappeared instantly. I quickened my steps toward them, but before I could reach them, they were gone.

I looked around-nothing but darkness.

"Dad! Mom!" I screamed with all my strength.

"Dad! Mom!"

"Sweetie...!"

"MOM!"

It was Mom's voice-desperate, calling for me. I ran toward the sound.

"Sweetie...!"

"Dad, I'm coming!" I ran faster.

"Sweetie...!"

"Mom, Dad, I'm coming!"

But with every passing second, their voices grew fainter.

"Sweetie..."

"Mom! Dad!"

"Sweetie..."

"Mom! Dad!" I screamed-

-and suddenly opened my eyes.

The darkness dissolved into a dimly lit room. Their fading cries were replaced by the steady tick-tick of the wall clock. In a blink, everything changed-from dream to nightmare, and from nightmare to my lifeless reality.

This wasn't the first time I'd had this nightmare. Ever since that incident, they had been haunting me like this. It had almost been a year, yet I was still restless.

But whatever it was-I knew I deserved it.

I glanced at the clock.

2:00 a.m.

I let out a heavy sigh. Two pills... still an hour and forty minutes .

I got out of bed, drank some water, and stepped onto the balcony for fresh air.

The breeze brushed against my skin, cold and sharp, slipping through layers like it knew exactly where to hurt. It carried no smell of life, no laughter, no warmth-only the distant echo of emptiness. The kind of silence that doesn't comfort, only reminds you how alone you are.

Every sound felt louder because of its loneliness-the faint rustle of trees, the hum of a faraway light, the soft creak of the balcony railing. Even time seemed slower, dragging each second like it didn't want to move forward.

The night wasn't just dark-it was hollow.

And standing there, wrapped in the quiet, it felt like the world had paused without me... leaving me alone with my thoughts, my memories, and the ache that only the night knows how to awaken.

Suddenly, the night screamed.

The sharp screech of tires tearing against the road ripped through the fragile silence, violent and unforgiving. Before my mind could process the sound, a car burst into view-rushing forward at a reckless, unnatural speed.

It twisted and swerved across the road, moving like a wounded snake, out of control, desperate. Anyone could see it-the driver had already lost the battle.

Seconds later, the car crashed into the roadside with a deafening impact and overturned.

The sound that followed-metal folding, glass shattering-wasn't just noise.

It was terror.

It was enough to shake a soul awake.

And just like that, that night returned.

The night where everything ended.

My life.

My world.

My happiness.

My parents.

I had lost them in a car accident just like this one. The same chaos. The same helplessness. The same final sound.

If I had reached there on time... I could have saved them.

The thought carved itself into my mind like a punishment.

This was my fault.

I wasn't fast enough. I wasn't there.

And because of me, they were gone.

My chest tightened, breath turning shallow, as if the night itself was pressing down on me. I couldn't let it happen again. I wouldn't. I couldn't survive carrying another death on my conscience-not theirs, not anyone's.

Tears blurred my vision, burning hot against the cold air. I shook my head instinctively, as if denying reality could erase it.

"No..."

Fear rose inside me-not loud, not frantic-but cold and suffocating. The kind of fear that freezes your blood.

"No... not again."

Before my mind could catch up, my body moved on its own.

I ran.

I didn't feel the freezing ground beneath my bare feet.

I didn't feel the cold slicing through my skin, through the thin fabric of my clothes.

All I felt was the past chasing me...

and the desperate need to outrun it.

By the time I reached the car, my lungs were burning and my legs were trembling, yet my body refused to stop.

The vehicle lay overturned, silent now-too silent.

For a moment, I just stood there, frozen, staring at the crushed metal as if it were a living thing that might suddenly breathe again. The headlights flickered weakly, casting broken shadows across the road. Smoke curled into the air like a slow, dying sigh.

"No... no, no..." I whispered, rushing closer.

My hands shook violently as I grabbed the door handle and pulled. It wouldn't move. I pulled again-harder this time-panic crawling up my spine, tightening around my chest.

"Please," I murmured, not knowing who I was begging anymore. "Please don't do this."

The smell inside the car triggered something deep and cruel inside me. My vision blurred-not from tears this time, but from memories crashing into me without warning. My parents' faces flashed before my eyes. The same twisted metal. The same helpless stillness.

You're too late.

The thought hit me like a blow.

"No!" I shouted, shaking my head fiercely. "Not this time."

I forced myself to look inside.

The driver was there-alive. Barely conscious. Breathing.

With trembling hands and a strength I didn't know I had, I somehow managed to pull him out of the car. The cold road pressed against my knees as I lowered him carefully, my heart pounding so loudly it drowned every other sound.

"Hey... hey, look at me," I pleaded, holding his hand tightly.

"Please, stay with me. I'm here. I won't let anything happen to you."

He was bleeding badly, yet his eyes were still open-glassy, unfocused, but conscious. Each shallow breath he took felt like a fragile promise that could break any second.

"Don't close your eyes," I begged, my voice cracking.

"Please... don't."

Tears spilled freely now, dropping onto his hand as I held it against my chest, as if my warmth could anchor him to this world.

I needed help.

An ambulance.

Now.

The realization hit me like a slap-I didn't have my phone.

Panic surged again as I searched his clothes desperately, my hands shaking, my mind racing. Nothing. Then my eyes caught it-his phone, lying just inside the wrecked car, screen cracked but still there.

I loosened my grip slightly, reaching toward it.

His fingers tightened around mine.

I froze.

He was scared.

Scared that I would leave.

Scared of being alone.

My chest ached painfully as I understood.

"I'm not going anywhere," I whispered, gently cupping his cheek, forcing him to look at me. "I promise. I'm right here with you."

Only then did I reach for the phone, keeping one hand firmly in his. My fingers fumbled as I unlocked it, tears blurring my vision while I dialed for help.

"Please hurry," I said into the phone, my voice shaking.

"There's been an accident."

I went back to him immediately, holding his hand again-tighter this time.

"Hold on," I whispered. "Just a little longer."

We reached the hospital within minutes.

The moment the ambulance doors swung open, harsh white lights spilled out, blinding after the darkness of the road. Cold air rushed in, carrying the sharp scent of antiseptic. Everything felt unreal-too bright, too fast.

They pulled him out on a stretcher immediately.

I barely had time to register what was happening when I saw Mina rushing out of the ER with a few nurses behind her.

She was running-until her eyes landed on me.

For a split second, she froze.

Just a moment.

Just long enough for recognition to pass through her eyes.

Then she was moving again-faster, sharper.

She checked his pulse quickly, her hands steady, professional. Then she glanced at me once more before turning to the nurses.

"Take him to the ER," she ordered.

The stretcher was pushed forward at full speed, wheels rattling against the floor. I followed them without thinking

-barefoot, numb, unaware of anything except him.

I didn't care that I was still in my night suit.

I didn't care that it was soaked, almost entirely stained red.

I just kept walking behind them, the bright lights above blurring through my tears, my heart pounding with one desperate thought-

Please... let him live.

He was inside the ER, surrounded by doctors and nurses, his body covered in blood.

Yet... his eyes were still open.

After enduring so much pain, after being dragged between life and death, his gaze was fixed only on me.

And I was looking back at him.

My eyes felt numb, as if they no longer belonged to me. My mind was clouded with a strange, suffocating fear. My body refused to move.

I stood there like a statue-motionless-in the middle of the chaos, the rushing footsteps, the tense voices, the heavy air thick with desperation.

Then suddenly-

The monitoring machine began to beep faster.

Sharper.

Louder.

"It's a cardiac arrest!"m

Panic spread through the ER like wildfire.

"Code Blue!" Mina shouted.

She climbed onto the bed and began pressing on his chest, counting, commanding, fighting time itself. Doctors rushed around her. Nurses moved frantically. Everything blurred into noise and motion.

But he never looked away from me.

Not even once.

His eyes stayed locked onto mine, unblinking, unwavering-like he was holding onto me as his last anchor to this world.

That gaze pierced straight into my soul.

I didn't know what emotion lived inside it-fear, pain, hope, regret... or a silent goodbye.

I couldn't move

I couldn't speak.

I couldn't look away.

All I could do was pray.

Slowly... painfully... the energy in the room began to change.

Faces that were once determined started losing color.

Hands that moved with urgency began to slow.

Hope was slipping away.

Mina's movements weakened.

Then... stopped.

The machine released a long, piercing beep.

A sound that didn't belong to this world.

A sound that meant everything was over

In that moment, something inside me shattered.

The world went dark

My body gave up.

My legs lost all strength.

The last thing I remember was the dull thud of my body hitting the floor-

and a sharp, blinding pain exploding inside my head.

A slow, dull ache pulsed through my head.

Not sharp.

Not sudden.

Just... constant.

Like something inside me was broken and refusing to heal.

I tried to move, but my body felt impossibly heavy. My eyelids fluttered, struggling, before finally giving in.

White.

That was the first thing I saw.

White ceiling.

White lights.

White walls.

The smell of antiseptic filled my nose.

Hospital.

The realization settled slowly, sinking into my chest like a weight.

Memories rushed back without mercy.

The accident.

The blood.

His eyes.

The long beep.

My breath hitched violently.

"No-" a broken whisper slipped from my lips.

Tears flooded my eyes before I could stop them. My chest started to ache, tightening until every breath felt painful.

I turned my head weakly.

Machines surrounded me, quietly beeping, wires attached to my arm. A thin blanket covered my body. Someone had changed my clothes.

I was safe.

But I didn't feel safe.

I felt empty.

I felt hollow.

As if something had been ripped out of me.

I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping-praying-that it had all been a nightmare.

But nightmares end.

This hadn't.

A soft movement near the door made my eyes open again.

Mina stood there.

She didn't look like the strong, composed doctor from before.

Her eyes were red.

Her shoulders slightly slumped.

She walked in slowly and stopped beside my bed.

For a moment, neither of us spoke.

I was scared to ask.

Terrified of the answer.

But my lips trembled anyway.

"He...?"

One word.

That was all I could manage.

Mina looked at me.

Mina inhaled slowly, like she was gathering courage.

"He's alive."

For a second, I didn't understand the words.

They hovered in the air... meaningless.

"W-what?" I whispered.

"He went into cardiac arrest," she said gently. "We lost him for almost two minutes. But we managed to revive him."

My heart skipped.

Then shattered.

Then tried to beat again.

Alive.

The word crashed into me all at once.

Alive.

A broken sob escaped my lips before I could stop it. Tears poured freely, soaking into the pillow as I brought my trembling hands up to my face.

Alive.

He was alive.

I wasn't too late.

Not this time.

My chest ached with a strange mixture of relief and pain, so overwhelming it felt unbearable. I laughed weakly through my tears, a sound that didn't even feel human.

"Can I... see him?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

Mina's expression changed.

"No," she said firmly.

The word hit me harder than I expected.

"You have pneumonia," she continued. "Your body is already weak. As your doctor, I'm not allowing you to leave this bed."

My lips parted to protest, but she didn't give me the chance.

"You need rest," Mina said more gently this time. "I'll have a nurse check on you regularly. Please… try to sleep."

She adjusted the blanket over me, her movements careful, almost protective.

"I'll update you about his condition," she added. "But right now, you need to focus on yourself."

Then she turned and walked toward the door.

"Mina…" I called weakly.

She paused, glancing back at me.

"I just want to see him," I whispered. "Just once."

Her eyes softened.

But she still shook her head.

"I'm sorry."

And then she left.

The door closed quietly.

But inside me, nothing was quiet.

I was sitting on the bed, a book resting in my hands, pretending to read—pretending to calm the storm inside my head.

The door opened softly.

Mina walked in.

She looked at me, then at the book, raising an eyebrow.

"I told you to sleep," she said. "And here you are… reading."

I slowly placed the book aside.

"I tried," I whispered.

She walked closer.

"It's late. Why are you still awake?" I asked as I lay back against the pillow.

"Taking care of you," she replied with a warm smile, gently fixing the blanket around me.

Then she moved toward the sofa—one of the small privileges of a VIP room. She slipped off her doctor's coat and lay down.

Stretching her tired arms and legs, she sighed.

"I had a very hectic day today… filling in your place."

Guilt pressed heavily on my chest.

"I'm sorry," I murmured.

She turned her head toward me.

"Don't be," she said softly. "Even if it was because of illness, you still deserve rest."

She smiled.

The warmest kind of smile.

One I couldn't return.

I turned my face toward the ceiling.

Silence settled between us.

But it wasn't peaceful.

It was heavy.

Somehow… she sensed the chaos inside me.

"Who is he?" Mina asked quietly.

I shook my head without looking at her.

"I don't know."

"His name?"

"No."

"Then where did you find him?"

"He met with an accident… right in front of my house," I replied.

Mina hummed thoughtfully.

"The hospital has already informed the police," she said. "They're investigating. Soon they'll locate his family."

She paused.

"So try not to worry about him. It's not your responsibility anymore."

She waited for a response.

But I had none.

She let out a tired sigh.

Then, gently —

"Now sleep."

She turned to her side and closed her eyes.

I lay there, staring at the ceiling.

Wide awake.

°°°°°°

Minutes passed.

Or maybe hours.

Time had stopped making sense.

Mina's breathing from the sofa grew slow and steady.

She was asleep.

I turned my head slightly, just enough to look at her.

Still asleep.

My heart started pounding—not loud, not fast.

Careful.

Like it was afraid of being heard.

I slowly pushed the blanket aside.

The moment my bare feet touched the cold floor, a shiver ran through me.

Just one look, I told myself.

Just to see him. Then I'll come back.

I moved as quietly as I could, every small sound feeling too loud in my ears.

One step.

Then another.

When I reached the door, I paused.

For a second, doubt crept in.

What if Mina wakes up?

What if I collapse again?

But then his face flashed in my mind.

His eyes.

The way he had looked at me… like I was the only thing keeping him here.

My hand tightened around the door handle.

I opened it slowly.

The hallway outside was dim, bathed in soft blue night lights. Everything was silent except for distant machine beeps and the faint hum of hospital equipment.

I stepped out.

The door clicked shut behind me.

And just like that…

I was alone.

I wrapped my arms around myself as I walked, partly from cold, partly from fear.

Each step felt heavier than the last.

My chest tightened with every ICU sign I passed.

When I finally reached the glass doors of the ICU, my breath caught.

There he was.

Lying on the bed.

Motionless.

Machines surrounded him, wires attached to his body, a ventilator helping him breathe.

For a moment, I couldn't move.

What if he looked different?

What if I couldn't handle seeing him like this?

But my feet carried me forward anyway.

I stopped beside his bed.

Up close, he looked… fragile.

Not like the man who had survived a violent crash.

Not like the man who had held onto my hand in fear.

Just… human.

So painfully human.

My eyes burned.

"You're alive," I whispered, like I needed to hear it out loud.

The machine beside him beeped steadily.

Proof.

I reached out slowly, hesitating for a second before gently wrapping my fingers around his hand.

Warm.

Still warm.

A shaky breath left my lips.

Tears slid down my cheeks, falling onto the blanket.

My thumb brushed lightly over his knuckles.

"Please wake up," I murmured. "Just once… so I know you're really here."

The room stayed silent.

But I stayed.

Holding his hand.

Keeping my promise.

Not leaving.

And then suddenly I felt something.

My entire body froze.

His fingers…

They moved.

Just a little.

Barely noticeable.

But I felt it.

My breath caught in my throat.

I stared at our joined hands like I was afraid that if I blinked, the moment would vanish.

Did he…?

My heart started racing.

Slowly, carefully, I tightened my grip around his hand.

Nothing.

No movement.

No response.

Silence.

The fragile hope inside me wavered.

It was your imagination, my mind whispered.

You're exhausted. You're emotional. You're breaking.

I swallowed hard.

An illusion.

It had to be.

I was so desperate for him to live that my mind was creating things that weren't real.

I let out a shaky breath and gently placed his hand back on the bed.

That's when I heard footsteps.

I turned.

Mina stood at the doorway.

My lips parted instantly.

"Mina… I think—" I hesitated, then forced the words out. "I felt his finger move."

Mina's expression shifted.

Not to shock.

Not to excitement.

To concern.

She walked toward me slowly.

"That's not possible," she said calmly.

The words hurt more than I expected.

"He just came out of a critical surgery," she continued.

"He's heavily sedated. He won't regain consciousness for at least forty-eight hours."

I looked back at him.

He looked the same.

Still.

Silent.

Unmoving.

Mina placed a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"You're exhausted," she said softly. "You've been through too much in one night."

Maybe she was right.

Maybe my heart was playing cruel games with me.

But even as I nodded…

A small part of me refused to let go of what I had felt.

Because illusions don't feel warm.

And they don't feel real.

But his hand had.

And I had felt it.