Blackpink Group Chats
Episode 1: Just Lisa Things
Rosé
We're listening Lisa, tell us what's wrong 😣
Lisa
Well I got two bad news
Lisa
First, my hair is stuck on the hanger near the door— second, there's a spider on the door knob 😖
Lisa
Someone call emergency please
Jisoo
Don't worry, unnie is almost there
Rosé
Lisa stop over reacting, it's nothing to freak out over 😞
Rosé
I thought you were smart enough to know that you can use your hands to free your hair first
Rosé
And then with the broom you could throw the spider out
Lisa
Chaeyoung unnie you don't understand 😭
Lisa
I wanted to let you know that I love you all before the spider gets near me and eat me 💔
Jennie
There's no such thing as a spider eating a human. It's not even half the size as you 😑
Lisa
But what if it's a huge & evil human-eating lizard in disguise?
Lisa
Or maybe a ghost that came to haunt me in the form of a spider?
Jisoo
You guys aren't helping 😤
Jisoo
I'm trying my best to keep the spider away while Lisa's hair is still stuck 😩
Jisoo
You know I don't have 4 hands to help Lisa, catch the spider, open door and kick it out before it gets in again and to clean the door knob cuz according to Lisa, the spider pooped on it
Lisa
Wait guys, I think I got it—
Lisa
AH SPIDERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Lisa
OMG ITS ON MY FACE, ON MY FACE— MY BEAUTIFUL FACE
Jisoo
Jennie, Rosé, get your butts right here
Jisoo
Lisa is suffering and I can't deal with this alone 😩
Lisa
THE SPIDER, ITS EW, ITS MOUTH, ITS EW SALIVA, ITS EWW
Jennie
Lisa calm down first, we're trying—
Lisa
ITS MOUTH, ITS LEGS, ITS EWWW, ITS TOO EWWWWW, IM TOO AHHHHH
Jennie calmly flicks the spider out
Lisa
OMG THANK YOU UNNIE 😭
Jisoo
Now that that's done, who's going to clean up the poop on the door knob?
Jisoo
We're stuck in your room and can't open the door neither can go outside cuz of it ☹️
Rosé
I can't call the staffs to do it cuz my phone is on the living room sofa and I can't go outside cuz of that poop on the door knob TT_TT
Jennie
We might just need to wash it ourselves
Jennie
But not me of course
Rosé
This is not the time to be mean, your helping 😤
Jennie
But I just took a shower... I don't want to get spider poop all over me 😢
Lisa
Guys, let's deal with the poop later
Lisa
Right now, can you all focus on trying to help me with my hair? 😔
Jisoo
Lisa, we're all stuck in your room and we can literally see anything you do
Jisoo
And there's nothing wrong with your hair
Lisa
Yes there is. My hair is crazy tangled up because I had to pull it a lot to take it out from the hanger
Lisa
I'm trying to comb it... But nothing is working 😭
Lisa
What if my hair starts to fall and I become bald?!
Rosé
It's not that tangled. The stylist can handle it, don't worry 😊
Jisoo
Well anyways, since none of you are nice enough to help me clean that filthy poop, I'll do it myself 😤
Lisa
I'll help you unnie 💕
Rosé
Me too. Your gonna be the only one taking out the poop, but we'll still try to help in any ways we could 😊
Jennie
Alright fine. I'll help as well 😌
Jennie
It's only been about 2 minutes
Jisoo
Exactly. It's been 2 minutes and we STILL aren't done
Lisa
It's not my fault Jisoo unnie doesn't have the courage to clean it ☹️
Jisoo
But it's so gross and disgusting that my vision gets blurrier and blurrier every second I look at it :(
Jennie
Ahh, it's so liquidy that I'm starting to puke >.<
Rosé
Eww and it's melting and drooling all over the floor
Lisa
It's all that ugly, stupid, hideous, annoying and evil spider's fault
Lisa
Did I dig your ancestor's grave in my precious existence?! 😡
Jisoo
I got it, the poop is finally cleaned from the door knob 😭
Jennie
I'm not gonna waste another second
Jisoo
I'm so glad to be finally out 😌
Rosé
It felt like 15 years instead of 15 minutes 😲
Lisa
That's offensive to my room, it isn't that bad in there 😤
Jennie
Actually, it was 5 minutes
Lisa
But anyways, what about my hair? 😢
Jisoo
Just forget about it, your hair is fine
Lisa
I think you actually went blind 😞
Rosé
Oh, how about I bake you all some cookies?
Rosé
I watched a really good recipe from the Internet 😇
Lisa
No no, I will. I got you all in this mess :(
Jennie
It's okie Lisa, we don't mind that you are a bit annoying some times. It happens 😊
Lisa
A bit annoying? Didn't you have better words in mind? 😭
Jisoo
We still love you Lisa 💕
Rosé
How's the cookies going?
Lisa
It didn't quite go as planned...
Jisoo
What did you do this time?
Lisa
I didn't do anything wrong! I followed the instructions but it still doesn't look the way I imagined 😣
Jennie
What did you use to put the cookies on?
Jennie
All the trays are here in the living room, remember?
Episode 2: Jisoo's Hair Tie
Jisoo
Who took my hair tie?
Jisoo
I put them on my desk just a few minutes ago, but when I came back from the bathroom, it wasn't there where I placed it 😰
Lisa
Which one? Is it the pink one with the purple and red dots on?
Jisoo
Yes, and how did you know that?
Jisoo
Is it possible that your the thief?
Lisa
Of course not, why would I do such a thing to you unnie?! I only took a guess 😔
Jisoo
Alright, then which one of you is it?
Jisoo
Chaeyoung or Jennie?
Jennie
Sorry, but I'm sleeping at the moment
Jisoo
If your sleeping then how come your texting me right now?
Jennie
It's a talent I have
Jennie
My hands can magically write any message I want to even if I'm dead
Jisoo
Sorry Jennie, but your tricks don't work on me 😤
Jisoo
I know you're in the living roo—
Jisoo
WAIT YOU WERE THERE A SECOND AGO
Rosé
I'm finally back from the photo shoot, what's up? 😋
Lisa
We have no time to explain, the thief is running away and we need to catch her
Jisoo
Jennie come back this very moment, I'm gonna get mad if you don't 😡
Jennie
Sorry unnie, but I'm very busy planning my genius strategy
Jisoo
I'm warning you, Jennie, if you waste another second and don't return that hair tie, I'm gonna call the cops
Jisoo
It's my favorite one and I can't even imagine life without it 😭💔
Lisa
Unnie it's okay, I'll call the cops
Lisa
You can just continue crying 🤗💕
Jennie
What kind of support is that
Lisa
Never mind, I got a problem
Lisa
I can't call 911 cuz the 9 button isn't working 😣
Rosé
Just turn the phone upside down and use the 6!!
Lisa
Ahh, right! Your a genius, unnie! 👍
Jennie
Did anyone tell you that your stupid?
Jisoo
Now look what you did, you even made Chaeyoung cry 😤
Jennie
Well I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings. I really thought you already knew
Lisa
This isn't the time to be mean, apologize 😤
Lisa
Well actually, I got good news 😙
Rosé
Jennie felt sorry and regretted calling me stupid?
Lisa
No, it's about Jisoo unnie's hair tie.
Jisoo
OMG LISA YOU MEAN IT? 😭
Rosé
Well you know, you don't have to use capital for all the words
Lisa
Anyways, it was under your desk. Jennie didn't steal it from the very beginning
Jisoo
Ahh, I'm so stupid ☹️
Jisoo
How can I yell at my own precious dongsaeng like that without any proof?!
Jennie
Im also sorry, I could've just told you that you were the one who stole your hair tie instead of starting such a drama 😔
Rosé
But how can you steal your own belongings though?
Lisa
But anyways, the good thing is that you both learnt a lesson v_v
Jisoo
No, a better thing is that I found my hair tie 😭
Jisoo
I thought I lost it 💔
Lisa
Don't be sad, everything is fine now
Jisoo
But I really thought so! I hope now you have realized that you shouldn't break someone's heart, they only have one 😔
Rosé
But you can always break their bones, they have 206 of those v_v
Jennie
Since that matter is solved, how about we play a game?
Jisoo
Okay, I'll play as well
Jisoo
But first, what is about?
Jennie
It's called "leave me alone and don't bother me while I'm sleeping"
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