Walking through a crowded corridor yet not a single familiar face guess it's obvious.... Everyone glanced at me once before going back to their own business. I walked quietly not wanting to attract any attention. Finally, after a long detour, I reached my new class.... I stepped inside as quietly as possible with only a silent wish to pass this year peacefully too... I sat down at the last seat near the window. I could feel my energy drain when someone even stared at me.

Finally, the class begin and worst the teacher said introduce yourself.... For God’s sake, introduction? Are we in nursery? Or something? Just start the class.... Well I am saying this because I don't know what to say like I don't know what am I? I mean who am I again? I fumbled though my bag and found my students ID clenching it in my hands trying not to mess up the introduction...

The person In front of me is introducing himself now... Can't a miracle happen and I disappear? Or the teacher wouldn't notice me? But nah I am not that lucky now.

It was my turn now, I somehow stood, my voice trembling a little before it got loud and clear though it's a facade only I know that well. As Sir told me to sit, I slumped down my seat, my legs felt like it could have given up when I was standing.... My social anxiety will surely reach it's peak like this.

My eyes scanning the faces in the classroom but soon it stopped on it's track...... You were sitting on the front like always confident, looking a little nerdy with that thick glasses yet somehow it suits you well...and giving off an encouraging vibe.... It's too bright for an introvert like me. I looked away rubbing my eyes like that much brightness had actually affected my eyes.

The class begin finally without me dying.... Now gotta wait for the classes to end. My mind went wandering around and my eyes just blankly fixed at you... I don't know why but it felt good looking at you. Soon the train of thoughts broke as the lunch break bell rang loudly echoing around…

Everyone started sitting together to eat. And I quietly took out my lunch that I brought from the Cafeteria this morning.

If you ask me I don't feel lonely? Then nope I don't... I am habituated to it also alone. Honestly it feels quite free and good. No one notices me, I am like an invisible ghost of the class. I started eating savouring each and every bite, food is life after all.

My eyes drifting towards you without a single thought, there you are like always surrounded by many. You were the exact opposite of me like literally.... I don't know why but.... I think I liked that about you too... A small smiles tugged my lips before fading away...

( I am bored and not like anyone will read it so whatever~)

The classes resumed after lunch, it was the most boring class history class, my focus was none existing at this point no matter how much I tried. My eyes fixed at the front... You were sitting there quietly somehow focusing on what Sir said. A random thought came into my mind and I picked up my pencil... I want to draw you though I don't know how to draw. My eyes flickering towards you and the page before I pause for a while intaking your every single features brown sharp eyes fully focused on the lesson, square thick glasses, black a little curly and messy hair. And the same boring school uniform, tall like always with board shoulders, sharp jawline... You looked perfect in my eyes... So perfect that I couldn't take off my eyes... I tried to draw you… wanting capture the moment in the back of my copy... The drawing certainly didn't turn out well...

I wanted laugh at my own drawing at this point? Wanna see? Here

I sighed seeing my drawing which wasn't able to capture your perfectness even one percent. My eyes drifted off to the window, dark cloud have swarmed the sky, the wind was blowing... Such a perfect weather, my favourite.

Slowly everyone started noticing the weather and their focus on the lesson dropped to zero. Sir became angry and slammed the book on the desk, some students almost jumped out of their seats, the gossips died down, all eyes on Sir.Now the infamous lecture will begin, I rolled my eyes slightly as the lecture began, soon the bell rang so we got saved. It was the 2nd last class, now it's game's class Yeahhhhhhhhhh

I packed my bag quickly and dashed out of the classroom first. The cold wind was so nice, I started walking upstairs whereas everyone was going downstairs. I finally reached the top floor it was empty not a single soul. I walked through the long corridor, the laughter of the kids playing in the ground somehow reached here too, the view was the most peaceful.I stepped inside the library, the librarian was scrolling through her phone like usual and it was completely empty such a great thing. I stood near the window letting the cold wind caress my face, my hair was getting messy but I couldn't care less. It felt so good, the sky was dark it looked like it will rain heavily.

I took a seat near the window and took a thick book with a black cover, I was last reading it last week, it was a book on human body mechanism I guess? Like I don't know. I opened the page 43 where I last left, it was on how human heart works... I pressed my hand on my chest listening to my heartbeat... Unfortunately it's still beating normally. I started reading, there was no noise only the calming sound of the rustling leaves that's why I call it my sanctuary. I wish I could come here every day but not all wishes come true I know that. I kept reading quietly, I felt at peace with no trouble, no overthinking. I glanced outside the weather was perfect too.

I kept on reading as I lost the track of time, it started raining heavily now only the rustling sound of the leaves and the rain filled the surrounding. Suddenly I heard someone calling my name, it was the librarian, I guess time's up. I closed the book carefully and put it back on it's place... hoping I could read it again next week. I slugged the bag on my right shoulder then slightly smiled and waved towards the librarian, she just smiled and went back to her work. I walked outside, thinking what now? The school was almost empty, I kept walking downstairs glancing at the empty corridors and classroom... It was peaceful but peace doesn't lasts forever. I reached the ground floor and sighed, the weather is indeed perfect but I don't have an umbrella. Then I looked around and saw a few of my classmates going home together, you were there too... Looking at one of our classmates with those gentle eyes and a longing which I wanted you to see me with... I looked at her... She is beautiful and smart with a kind heart.... Perfect for you... Unlike me... I felt my heart clenching slightly, I felt.... Suffocated for some reason I don't know..... I took a deep breath and just ran without umbrella obviously. I was getting drenched but I couldn't care... I couldn't think at all… My feet just carried me somehow, almost tripping but kept running. I knew they were probably staring at me thinking I am crazy or something but I couldn't care at all... that scene kept on replaying in my head nonstop....

I reached home and fumbling took out my keys almost dropping it.... I slammed the door shut behind me... and slide down to the floor, my back leaning on the door. I kept breathing heavily from running that much... I was completely drenched and tears kept rolling down my cheeks, I wiped them but still... My lips trembling slightly as I shivered from the cold, I muttered " I wonder... Why not me?" though I knew the answer... I am not perfect, beautiful, or smart like her.... I don't deserve you... That's why... But at that moment my mind was completely blank.... I calmed down in a while, my eyes red already. I covered my eyes and thought Did I lost my mind or something? To run like that? I glanced down at myself, totally drenched from head to toe, muddy on my shoes, my bag was wet too. I sighed while thinking that you must have thought I am crazy too... Howe pathetic I am right now... I could have never thought such a day will come.... I stood up somehow dragging myself inside...

( I am too lazy to write, comment if you liked it though I wonder if anyone will read it other than me.... That's great actually lol 😂 you know why I am writing this last part because I couldn't reach 500 words.)