A sunny saturday morning

may lalaking bagong lipat sa kabilang bahay malapit samin, napag tingin ako sa bintana namin at nakita namin silang nag lilipat ng gamit sa loob nila, at yung batang lalaki at kuya naman ay nag lalaro ng bola

simula nung lumipat kami dito walang gustong makipag kaibigan sakin, tahimik na bata lang ako laging may bitbit na teddy bear, yaya lang namin ang madalas na kasama ko dito sa bahay namin, si mama at papa kasi laging may inaasikaso na bussiness, si ate at kuya ayun laging kasama yung mga tropa nila

yaya marie can i go outside?

pinayagan ako ng yaya namin pero wag daw lumayo lagi naman niyang sinasabi yon wala ng bago

pag labas ko ng bahay namin, nakita ko siya nag aalinlangan pakong lumapit, hinawakan ko ng mahigpit yung teddy bear ko at lumapit sa kanya

Hi.. your my new neighbor, l'm aliana ali for short 10 years old

Uhm.. Hello ako nga pala si Harvey 10 din nice to meet you...

I heard her mom call him, i think busy pa sila sa pag aasikasong gamit nila kaya napa step back ako

uhh.. Wait lang ah, busy pa kasi eh saan ba bahay mo?

Uhh.. there the white one

ahh.. Sige tawagin nalang kita mamayang hapon laro tayo, busy pa kasi kami eh

I nod slowly and walk away, still holding my teddy bear tightly, never ko pang naranasan tawagin ng kasing idaran ko sa bahay namin tapos mag lalaro pa diba

around 4:30 habang nag lalaro ako ng mga toys ko biglang may kumatok sa pinto namin, i walk towards the door and open it

si harvey pala

Hi ali, tara laro tayo

I nod and follow him outside, still holding my teddy bear, harvey is holding a ball

nag lalaro kami sa tapat ng garage nila, siya nag babasketball ako nakatayo lang don nanonood habang hawak hawak ko yung teddy bear ko, i just stared at him never ko pa kasing naranasan to

Oh.. Bat nakatayo ka lang dyan? Oh basketball tayo marunong kaba nito?

Uhh..

And then suddenly bigla niyang binato natin yung bola, i drop my teddy bear and catch the ball

harvey pick up my teddy bear and hold it for me

Ohh tuturuan kita ah, first dribble mo muna tas bato mo dapat ma shoot sa ring ah?

ginawa ko yung sinabi ko yung sinabi niya sakin step by step

Like.. This?..

and suddenly i did it!! Nagawa ko

Yan!! Ganyann!! Angg galing mo ali!!

I look at him and smile...

his mom walk towards us

mom!! Look new friend ko, name niya is ali

Hi ali, here cookies mag snack muna kayo

thank you...

We sit in bench sa tapat ng bahay nila harvey, we eat the cookies habang si harvey nag kwekwento tungkol sa mga friends niya

Ahh.. Naalala ko nung nasa pilipinas kami non, yung mga tropa ko don sobrang saya nila kasama kapag pwede na ipapasyal kita sa pilipinas

Uhmm.. l'm from philippines too, my mom gave birth of me in philippines but my father decided to live with us in america...

ayhh wehh?? Anonh favorite mong food sa philippines?

as i remember it called adobo..

ayhh.. Masarap yon

habang nag uusap kami ni harvey, my mom and dad's car show up, napatayo agad ako and harvey was confused, nakita ako ni mama at papa na kasama si harvey, my mom walk towards us and pull my hand and drag me away from harvey

ali..

I watch him, looking at me can't do anything

nilock ni mama yung pinto and my dad look at me

I told you!! wag kang makipag usap sa mga batang mahirap!! wag kang makipag kaibigan don

nag lock ako sa kwarto ko, crying bakit ba bawal akong makipag kaibigan sa iba? Dahil ba mayaman kami? dapat ba kapag mayaman, dapat mayaman din yung kaibigan? Bakit? hindi ko maintindihan

Habang nasa kwarto ako, narinig ko yung ate at kuya ko, nakauwi na pala sila kaya lumabas ako sa kwarto ko, pag baba ko sa hagdan nakita ko yung lamesa full of delicious food

mayaman nga kami pero.. Hindi naman masaya pamilya namin

i sit silently, hindi man lang kami nag pray..

habang kumakain ako, napatingin ako sa bintana, nakita ko si harvey sa pamilya niya sa loob nila kumakain at nag tatawanan, napatingin ako sa pamilya ko si papa may katawag habang kumakain, si mama nag cecellphone habang kumakain si ate kausap boyfriend niya, si kuya kumakain habang nag lalaro ng videogames habang kumakain, i wan't to experience yung nag kwekwetuhan kaming buong pamilya nag tatawanan habang kumakain pero i guess never kong ma eexperience yon sa pamilya ko

After eating, dumeretso na agad ako sa kwarto ko at natulog

nagising ako, pag baba ko nabingi ako sa katahimikan

nakita ko si yaya nag luluto ng pancake

ohh gising kana pala ali, oh kumain kana pancake i know favorite moto

favorite ko to pero mas favorite ko yung luto ni mommy nung nasa philippines kami time na hindi pa siya busy at may oras pa siya sakin

Ali naman.. Oh kumain kana

I sit silently and eat, i look around malaking bahay pero laging kunti kang tao, ganon ba talaga sila ka busy?? Hayss...

suddenly someone knock at the door, bumaba ako sa upuan ko at binuksan yung pinto it's harvey

Hii ali, tara laro tayo...

I look at yaya and said yaya can i play with him?

Ali hindi mo pa ubos yung pancake mo

l'm already full yaya, okay bye

I step outside with him, he's holding a cookie and gave it to me

Oh.. Binake ni mama para sayo yan, masarap yan..

Oh thank you..

Tara laro tayo don sa playground

I follow him, umupo ako sa siso at siya naman ay sinuwing yung siso

I smile, ngiti na hindi katulad ng dati

Habang nag lalaro kami, biglang pumunta yung mama ni harvey, i look at her and she smiled at me

i wish she's my mother... Hayss..

oh harvey, ito pala new friend mo.. Ayhh.. pretty girl ah.. Where's your mom?

uhm.. She's always busy with bussiness sometimes when i woke up, she already arrive at the company, me and my yaya only in the house, tuwing gabi lang po kami kompleto..

His mom was speechless, i regret saying it but his mom didn't say anything she just smiled and offer me to come in their house and have a lunch

so i say yes

I enter their house, small tv in the living room, toys around a smell of chicken adobo, his dad and brother was in living room playing video games

have a sit ali..

I sit at the chair, i look around their house was small but happy, not big as our house but warm and peacefull, l'm jealous..

His mom put the big bowl of adobo, put a plate of rice in front of me, she smiled at me

his dad and brother sat too and i was about to eat and then suddenly his mom lead the prayer..

i was confused, and then harvey hold my hand and i hold his mom's hand and we pray, i feel the warm of a family, warm na matagal kong hindi naranasan sa sarili kong pamilya, pag tapos naming mag dasal kumain na kami, yung papa ni harvey nag kwekwento and then suddenly he said a joke we laugh, and i feel belong kahit hindi ko sila kadugo

ganto din kami ng pamilya ko dati eh..

i look at them and smile, i caught my self laughing eh hindi naman ako palatawang bata eh

After eating, nag laro kami ni harvey ng toys niya sa kwarto niya, while were playing he took out his phone and we take a selfie, he makes a silly face and i laugh

habang nag dradrawing kami, i look at his drawing and it's me

Ali oh drinawing kita HEHE ayos ba?

ganda...

Oh ito drinawing din kita

Halahhh.. Bat may siponn

HEHE AYOS BA???

We laugh, i look at him and smile

inabot nako ng gabi sa kanila, kaya umuwi na muna ako kasi baka maabutan nanaman ako ni mommy and daddy kila harvey

Byee ali.. Dito ka ulit bukas ah laro ulit tayo byebye!!

Bye harvey...

I step inside our house smiling, ang tahimik ng bahay nung nasa philippines kami hindi ko naman to nararanasan eh hayss..

i see my teddy bear, nasa lapag i realize nakakalimutan ko na yung teddy bear ko eh dati hindi 8ako makalabas ng wala to eh it means...

nakalabas nako sa comfort zone ko, i learn to socialize without it

Habang nag cecellphone ako bigla ng dumating si mommy and daddy kasama na nila si kuya and ate, pumasok sila sa bahay ng masaya tumatawa nag kwekwentuhan and ako? Nasa gilid para invisible

Yaya put the dish to the table, lahat sila umupo at kumain nakalimutan nila ako wala akong narinig na

ali kain na, wala..

kaya umakyat nalang ako at nag kulong sa kwarto, i miss lola and lolo

Nung nasa philippines kami as i remember 5 years old palang ako non, lagi akong trinetreat ni lola at lolo ng foods and toys, lagi nila akong pinupunta sa jollibee, inispoiled nila ako, pero nag kasakit si lola at iniwan kami simula non nawala na yung dating masayahin at madaldal na lolo ko, dumating sa point na gusto na niya sumunod kay lola wala akong magawa non para tulungan si lolo kase bata pako non, sumasama nalang ako kay lolo pumunta sa sementeryo para bisitahin si lola at saksi ako sa mga iyak ni lolo at lungkot niya, lagi parin kaming pumupunta sa jollibee pero wala na yung dating ngiti ni lolo at ramdam ko yon, ang bigat sa pakiramdam

nung nag asawa ulit si mommy, umalis kami sa philippines at dito tumira sa america, simula non wala nakong update kay lolo

Nung umalis kami non ramdam ko yung lungkot ni lolo sa pag alis namin, ayokong sumama non kila mommy and daddy pero kailangan daw kaya sumama nalang ako

Hindi ko namalayang tumutulo na pala luha ko

I miss my lola and lolo, sila lang yung nagiging kakampi ko sa lahat

Suddenly yaya knock at the door but i refuse to open my door, i lay in my bed staring at the ceiling, i imagine kung anong buhay ko ngayon kung hindi ako sumama, anong kalagayan ko ngayon kung hindi nawala si lola syempre masaya...

Habang umiiyak ako, hindi ko namalayang nakatulog na pala ako