My name is k , I am a teacher my life is not really happy i'm leaving in a boring life I don't remember that i wanted to be a teacher, when I was a kid i think life is happy if we have money you can buy everything but reality hit, even you have money you have so many things to pay bill ,apartment, food, my life is always like that sometimes I think why i become a teacher.

Everyone in my life my friend my family, expect me to be someone they want me to be ,not someone I want to be,everyone is expecting me to be perfect, because they think I living in a wonderful life, I feel my chest tie I cannot breathe normal, every person in my job is so pathetic cause they don't know me but when they talk they think we are close ,(like shit do you know me)(in my brain).

I always smiling, laughing when they're around but after that going again to my world again alone in a dark room, going to my kitchen wanted to make my self happy by cooking but I not good at everything so I cook and what happened,it not taste good it's awful, so I have a to eat my mother maid my favorite food spicy chicken I really miss her but you know I not kinda kind to her when his going to my apartment he always lecture me so I always wanted her to live but deep inside me I want her to sleep her sing my favorite song like when I was a kid.

actually I not a kind kid when I was young I always disobey my mother and my father cause I really hate my father,I am jealous to my classmate when they have a father who accompanied they children to school, cause I never feel that even just once,I'm a kid who making a trouble in school I always going to a guidance office grade1 to 4 and after that in grade 7 yes I make a trouble to but after that accident I've been bullied a lot.buy I not someone who never fight back.

My favorite life is grade 9 that is the first time I feel happy not boring everything is fine,I make friends having a buddy in life is make me alive but their is a time a feel lonely I don't know when it started, everything you like the most you not like it everything you want the most feel boring to you.

My mental health It got worse in grade 10,I had a fight with someone in my class Because he thinks he can bully, because in that time I'm always alone I don't have friends their cause my friend is not my classmate Even if I have a friend, I still won't tell them my problem.. I not a focal person so I just hide my pain my problem even my mother didn't know that my mental health getting worse cause I being lazy in everything.

I hate the facts that it not my fault but my mother. Saying sorry to them but I not someone who can mess of, (I said )it's not my fault so stop coming from our house And don't lecture my mom because your son is a jerk.(they said )What if you kill my son? (I said )so that's all He's going to die I give a stare as if I really want to kill( they said )What if you go to jail?(I said)I feel sorry for your son, but what if he's dead? ... everyone is shock what I said