I didn’t fall in love with him.

Let me say that first. ( ・∇・)

Back then, I didn’t even know what “love” was supposed to feel like. (*´ー｀*)

I was in eighth grade, doing well in school, getting good scores, being the kind of student teachers liked.

Top of the grade for three years in a row.

Sounds impressive, right?

It wasn’t.

Because the truth was, I had no idea what I was doing. ヽ(￣д￣;)ノ

Everyone kept talking about high school like it was the most important thing in the world.

“Pick the right school. “

“Think about your future. “

“Don’t waste your potential.”

I heard those things so many times they started to sound the same.

But none of them actually answered the question in my head.

What am I even trying so hard for?

I did okay in every subject, but I wasn’t really great at anything.

I didn’t have a clear strength to lean on or a school I clearly fit into, while my friends did—and I couldn’t help but admire how sure they seemed.

And sometimes, it made me wonder if being ‘well-rounded’ was actually enough…

I studied, I did my homework, I got good results.

And still, something felt off.

Not bad, just… empty.

Like I was moving forward without knowing where I was going.

That was my life. _:(´ཀ`」 ∠)

Until one random afternoon.

I was waiting in a senior’s classroom, trying to get help with homework.

She told me to sit for a bit, so I picked a seat near the window and waited.

The classroom was quiet.

A few students were talking softly at the back. Sunlight slipped through the curtains and made everything look warmer than usual.

I didn’t have anything to do.

So I just looked around.

That was when I saw it.

A photo.. Σ('◉_◉)

It was lying on the desk, like someone had taken it out and forgotten about it.

A group picture.

Probably from a graduation ceremony.

Everyone in it was smiling.

Nothing special.

I almost looked away.

Almost…

But for some reason, my eyes stopped.

On one person.

A boy standing slightly to the side.

Not in the center. Not the kind of person you would notice first.

And yet, I did.

His smile wasn’t flashy.

It wasn’t the kind that tried to stand out.

It just felt… natural.

Easy.

Like he belonged there.

Like everything around him made sense.

And for some reason, that annoyed me a little.

Because I didn’t feel that way at all.

“Are you waiting for me?”

I flinched.

The senior walked back in, following my gaze for a second before picking up the photo.

“Oh, this?” she said. “It’s from last year.”

Last year.

I hesitated.

Then, before I could stop myself, I pointed at the photo.

“Who is that?”

She looked at where I was pointing and smiled a little.

“Oh. Him?”

She didn’t say the name right away.

And I didn’t ask again.

But somehow, that moment stayed with me longer than it should have.

I didn’t know it yet.

But that small, pointless question…

was the beginning of everything.

...… ...

I didn’t know his name.
 I didn’t know anything about him.

But for some reason,
 I couldn’t stop thinking about that smile.

And for some reason, that made me a little curious ….

( *｀ω´)

The next day, I found out which class he was in.

Well, “found out” wasn’t really the right word.

People talked about that class all the time anyway.

The competition team class.

The class full of students chosen for district competitions.

And of course, he was in it.

Honestly, I wasn’t even surprised.

He just looked like the kind of person who always knew what he was doing.

I think that was what caught my attention the most. ϵ( 'Θ' )϶

Our school was built in a U-shape, so if you wanted to, you could walk one whole round around the corridors before going back to class.

Which was exactly what I started doing. \=))))))

My classroom was near the canteen, so during break time, I started dragging my friend out to buy snacks more often.

“Want something to eat?” I asked casually one day.

“You literally asked me that ten minutes ago.”

“Come onnnn… just one sausage?” (⁎⁍̴̆Ɛ⁍̴̆⁎)

"…You’re seriously hopeless.”

“So is that a yes?”

“yayyyy” (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

I pulled her toward the canteen anyway.

After buying snacks, I casually pointed toward the longer hallway.

“Let’s walk around a bit.”

“Why?”

“So we can digest.”

“We bought one sausage.”

“…Digestion is still important.” (｡•́︿•̀｡)

She stared at me like I was insane, but still followed me anyway.

Truly my doting CEO best friend. (๑>◡<๑)

...

As we walked through the hallway, my friend kept complaining about her middle-school relationship for the entire break time.

“I’m serious, he literally just left my paragraph on read.”

“Maybe he was busy?”

“Busy doing WHAT? Breathing?”

“….” (￣▽￣;)

She dramatically stabbed the sausage stick in her hand like she was trying to kill somebody.

“Boys are actually so annoying.”

I listened quietly while sipping from my juice box.

Honestly, I didn’t really understand romance that well back then.

I had never liked anyone before.

Everything I knew about love mostly came from romance novels, random edits online, and stories my friends told me during lunch break.

So after thinking seriously for a moment, I asked,

“Hey… do you think there’s actually someone out there who’s handsome, smart, and would love you wholeheartedly?”

My friend looked at me like I had lost my mind.

“Girl, wake up.”

“So that kind of person doesn’t exist?”(　˙-˙　)

“That kind of person only exists in fiction.”

“…That’s kinda sad.”

“Very.”

Then, while she kept ranting about her boyfriend, we passed by the competition team classrooms.

And almost without thinking, I glanced over.

Just for a second.

The classroom windows were open that day, and the soft afternoon wind drifted lazily through the white curtains. Sunlight spilled across the desks in warm golden patches while laughter echoed softly from inside the room.

And there he was.

Sitting near the window again.

One sleeve slightly rolled up while he leaned back in his chair, casually arguing with the guy beside him over a game on his phone.

“THAT DOESN’T COUNT.”

“It literally does.”

“YOU CHEATED.”

“Skill issue.”

Someone behind him laughed loudly.

He laughed too.

And somehow, the entire classroom suddenly felt brighter because of it.

I quietly looked away before my friend noticed anything.

Then I took another sip from my juice box and thought to myself—

Well…

someone who matched about ninety percent of that description already existed though\~

(ﾟ∀ﾟ)

I laughed a little without realizing it.

“Why are you smiling?” my friend immediately asked.

My expression froze.

“…Huh?”

“You’ve been smiling to yourself this whole time.”

“Had I?” Σ(ﾟoﾟ;;

I quickly looked away and took another sip from my juice box before mumbling,

“Ah… the weather’s just really nice today.”

Then I wrapped an arm around her waist dramatically.

“That’s why I love you sooo much\~ hehe.”

“…Get off me.”

But she still let me cling to her while we walked back to class anyway. (￣▽￣)

And somehow, without even realizing it—

I started trying harder than ever before.

o(｀ω´ )o

Not because I suddenly discovered a passion for anything in particular.

And not because I understood love either.

Back then, I really didn’t.

If anything, I was just… looking at him.

Every time I saw him—laughing comfortably with his friends near the window while sunlight poured into the classroom—

he looked ridiculously bright.

The kind of person people naturally looked at without realizing it.

Like someone quietly shining on their own.

To me, he looked dazzling.

Like someone with his own direction, his own goals, his own kind of confidence.

There was this strange aura around him that naturally drew people in.

And every time I saw that—

I started thinking quietly to myself:

I want to become someone like that too.

I want to shine like that too.

I want to stand beside someone like him without feeling small.

No—

I want to stand on equal ground with him someday.

And maybe…

even surpass him.\٩(๑`^´๑)۶/

____

The school’s competition team entrance exam was announced near the end of the semester.

Students crowded around the notice board after school while teachers handed out registration forms.

I stood there staring at the paper quietly.

Competition team.

District training class.

The classroom he used to study in.

Before I realized it, my hand had already reached out to take a form.

“You’re applying for that class??” my friend asked in complete shock.

“…Maybe\~” ( ・∇・)

“Do you seriously think you can survive in there?”

“Why are you saying it like I’m entering a battlefield?”

“Because the people in that class aren’t normal humans.”

“Listen!!”

She pointed dramatically toward the competition team building outside the window.

“Those people are like superheroes or main characters in movies. They all have some ridiculously overpowered talent.”

“…Oh.”(　˙-˙　)

“I’m just worried that if you somehow get in there, you’ll evolve into some kind of little demon instead of a normal person.”

“Hmm…”

“Even if I become a demon, the fondness and friendship I have for you will never change\~”

(⁎⁍̴̆Ɛ⁍̴̆⁎)

“…You little gremlin.”

With a sigh, she gently flicked my forehead.

“Just don’t push yourself too hard, okay?”

“(//∇//) ”

____

From then on, my routine slowly changed.

I started staying after class more often to ask teachers questions.

My notebooks became filled with highlighted formulas and messy sticky notes.

Practice worksheets piled higher and higher on my desk.

There were evenings when I sat by the window solving problems while the sky outside slowly turned dark blue.

Calculator beside me.

Scrap paper everywhere.

Sometimes I got stuck on one problem for nearly an hour.

Sometimes I wanted to cry dramatically onto my math textbook.

There were moments when frustration quietly built up inside me while watching other students solve problems so naturally, so effortlessly, as if the answers simply came to them without hesitation.

Meanwhile, I kept getting stuck on the same questions over and over again, rereading formulas until the numbers blurred together on the page.

I couldn’t help feeling a little small compared to them.

A little discouraged.

A little jealous too.(´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

But strangely enough…

I never really wanted to quit.

Because every time I became tired, I remembered that classroom again.

The open windows.

The warm sunlight.

His laughter mixing into the afternoon noise.

And somehow, I kept going.(˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)

_____

The entrance exam day arrived faster than expected.

The classroom felt terrifyingly quiet.

Calculator buttons clicked softly everywhere while students scribbled formulas across rough paper at alarming speeds.

Meanwhile, I spent the first five minutes trying not to panic.

When the results finally came out, students crowded around the hallway immediately.

I squeezed through the crowd nervously.

Then stopped.

…

My name was there!

Near the very bottom of the accepted list.

Very, very bottom.

But still there.

I passed! (๑>◡<๑)

____

Summer break disappeared almost instantly after that.

For three whole months, the competition team trained constantly.

Extra classes.

Practice exams.

Formula sheets.

Endless calculations.

At first, everyone trained together before being split into two separate groups later on.

Honestly, they scared me a little.

Okay, a lot. ヽ(；▽；)ノ

Some of them solved problems so fast it genuinely felt illegal.

Still, I kept studying.

Kept trying.

Little by little, I stopped feeling as lost as before.

Life became busier somehow.

Brighter too.♡

_____

Eventually, the final filtering exam arrived.

This exam would officially separate the advanced track from the calculator track, and also cut down the number of students even further.

I tried my best.

Really.

But when the results came out—

I failed the advanced division spectacularly.

Still, I ranked within the top six students selected for the calculator team.

And honestly?

That already felt unbelievable enough.(๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

_____

Right after the final exam, my family headed to the airport to visit my hometown for a few days.

The official results would be announced while I was away.

While waiting for my parents to buy drinks, I sat alone guarding the luggage and absentmindedly unlocked my phone.

Then I stopped.

My math teacher had uploaded graduation photos from the previous year—taken before the high school entrance exams.

His class.

The competition team class.

And there he was again.

In the photo, he was standing near the front beside the teacher while his friends laughed around him.

The sunset lighting made the entire photo glow softly in warm orange colors.

I stared at the screen quietly while airport announcements echoed somewhere nearby.

Then, without realizing it, I tightened my grip on my phone slightly.

Please…

please let me enter that classroom too.