The Emperor's Only Male Concubine
prologue
Jun ( mc)
Seriously, if bad luck paid the bills, I’d be a billionaire by now
Jun ( mc)
Who else loses their wallet, gets their shoe stuck in an escalator, and gets pooped on by a bird all in the span of two hours? Me Obviously
Jun ( mc)
(Pours boiling water into a cup of extra-spicy instant noodles)
Jun ( mc)
Honestly, I’m probably going to die young anyway
Jun ( mc)
The universe clearly has a personal vendetta against me
Jun ( mc)
Might as well enjoy my instant noodles
Rolls over to the high kitchen shelf on his chair, balancing on his tiptoes to grab a bag of potato chips
Suddenly, the heavy chili fumes from the noodle cup hit his nose
Jun ( mc)
Wait... oh no. Don't do it. Don't
The violent sneeze forces his body backward. The rolling chair shoots out from under him
Desperate, his hands fly out and grab onto a flimsy metal clothing rack. The entire rack collapses directly on top of him
The boiling hot noodle soup flies into the air, landing squarely on his face and splashing right into his nose
Gasping for air from the burning spice, he accidentally inhales a single, giant, uncut fishball from the soup
Jun ( mc)
GLUG— (Clutching his throat)
Suffocating on the floor under a pile of laundry and metal bars
Jun ( mc)
Of all the ways to go... a rogue fishball and a sneeze?! My funeral is going to be so embarrassing...(thought)
Zhenya wifey
I was inspired what if I write a silly rebirth story
And I still have unfinished 😭 stories o
But I have to release this imagination or I’d forget
I’d just update them no biggie
My old life
Fang Lin
My throat burns...
Lulu
YOUNG MASTER LIN!!! HE'S ALIVE!!!
Bao
(Slapping a freezing wet towel onto his forehead)
Bao
Heavens be praised! The fever broke!
Fang Lin
(shoving them away)
Fang Lin
What the f***?! Who are you people?! Get away from me!
Lulu
(Gasping, clutching her heart) Young Master, it’s me! Lulu! Your loyal maid!
Fang Lin
Lulu who?! Where am I? Is this a hospital? Why are you dressed like a…. Like a drama cast
Bao
(Crying) Young Master Lin, you must lie down! You just woke up and…
Fang Lin
{get off the bed}I need to get out of here Where is my phone? Who stole my clothes?!
Lulu
MEDIC!!! CALL THE PHYSICIAN!!!
Fang Lin
{look around the massive bedroom}
Fang Lin
Did I die and get reincarnated?
Fang Lin
{look at the mirror}
Fang Lin
What the actual hell? Who is this guy?
Fang Lin
Lin ….. {look at his new flawless skin}
Fang Lin
(Walking outside just to clear his head)
Behind him, Lulu is holding a giant umbrella, Bao is carrying a tray of hot medicine, and three other maids are literally lifting the bottom of his robes so they don't touch the dirt
Fang Lin
(Stops walking and turns around, pissed) Can you guys please stop stalking me?! I’m literally just walking in circles!
Lulu
We cannot, Young Master Lin!
Lulu
If a single fly bites your precious skin, Lord Fang will have us whipped!
Fang Lin
I am a grown ass man! I don't need an entourage to look at a bush! Go away! Shoo!
Bao
(Bowing, trembling) We dare not!
Fang Lin
This is suffocating
Mei (sister)
{slaps on lin back}
Mei (sister)
You came out today
Fang Lin
AH! F***! My ribs!
Mei (sister)
What is a F*** ?
Mei (sister)
Did hitting your head make you speak gibberish little brother
Lulu
Miss Mei! Please be careful, the Young Master is fragile!
Mei (sister)
Good ah thank goodness I’m not the favorite child
Mei (sister)
I heard the rumors little mushroom
Mei (sister)
They say you lost your memory and now you're roaming the estate like a confused puppy
Mei (sister)
(Capture his face)
Fang Lin
Le' go o' my face! I'b not a bubby! (Let go of my face! I'm not a puppy!)
Mei (sister)
The old lin won’t talk back just stay quiet
Mei (sister)
You really changed from an head bump
Mei (sister)
And yea you might want to run
Mei (sister)
Mom and dad is splitting this way rn
Fang Lin
{I kinda miss my old life}
Leave
It was the once in while dinner with the 12 wives of emperor tarkan
Emperor Tarkan(Ml)
(Drops his golden cup on the table) THUD
Emperor Tarkan(Ml)
This dinner is for an announcement
Emperor Tarkan(Ml)
I am taking a new concubine
from the southern region
The consort all looked at each other
Emperor Tarkan(Ml)
Anyone who objects can pack their bags and get out of my palace forever
Zoya
Another one?! Are twelve of us not enough for him?!
Empress tamila
{calm} Quiet, Zoya Watch your mouth
Zoya
(Rolls her eyes, scoffing) Oh, please
Empress tamila
I will speak to His Majesty myself. He will listen to me
Zoya
(Tsk, laughing cattily) And why would he listen to you? Or any of us?
Zoya
Let's be real None of us have given him an heir
Zoya
He can replace us whenever he wants
Zoya
Besides, it’s not like he even touches us anyway. We’re just expensive statues
Ghazal
(Giggles, whispering to the wife next to her)
Right? She really thinks she’s special
Nila
(Covering her mouth, whispering back)
Let her try talking to him. She won't even pass the bathhouse doors
Empress tamila
(Grips her fan so hard her knuckles turn white)
Empress tamila
I should take my leave enjoy your night {show there greeting sign}
The empress signal the maids
Maid
(Bowing quickly, rushing out)
Empress tamila
(Kneels at the edge of the pool. Picks up a silk cloth and gently pours warm water over his shoulders.)
Your Majesty... let me assist you
Emperor Tarkan(Ml)
(Doesn't open his eyes. Just gives a slow, nod.) ...
Empress tamila
The new girl from the south... is it really necessary to bring another outsider into the inner court?
Emperor Tarkan(Ml)
It’s a political alliance. Nothing more
Empress tamila
If it’s just politics... you don't need to waste your nights on her You still have me
Empress tamila
(Places her hand softly on his bare shoulder)
Tarkan... let me bear your child. Let me be the one
Emperor Tarkan(Ml)
Tamila. Do not cross the line {grab her hands}
Empress tamila
(She bows low) ...As you wish, Your Majesty
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