In March, I went to a camp retreat. I got close with this guy who I'd known for years. We got closer, he was so nice to me, something I had never gotten from men in my life

I'm 16, im just about to finish my sophomore year in high school. My dad wasn't too happy at first about me getting close with this boy because he was almost 18 and was about to graduate high school. But my mom approved, and a week later we started dating.

I loved him. We lived about 2 hours apart. He had a license but his parents hadn't gotten him a car, and then i found out his parents wouldn't get him a car because of me.

he told me his mom didn't like me, but he didn't care. We talked 24/7, i was finally happy, you know? he made sure i ate, made sure i slept. it didn't last long tho. around april 15th, he broke up with me, saying his mom made him. I want to believe him, to trust him that it really was his mom that made us break up. My friends didn't trust him, said they had a bad feeling about him. We started talking on March 14. He got his parents to drive him up to my city for an event at my school on march 21st, then later that day at my house we started dating. in April, I was struggling with eating again, i started struggling again, because of my home life.

He had been to my house before, so he knew my address and sent food to my house, specifically Animal crackers. i love them. He really was a sweet guy.

He took me on my first date around the last few days of March. He took me to cracker barrel, and ordered my dinner for me because i have selective mutism, i won't speak.

He made sure i ate enough there. It wasn't like he would force me to eat, but he had a way of getting me to. i wanted to be better for him, but my life has been so chaotic and traumatizing it was hard to.

He made sure i got up for school on time, he texted me when i went to him crying because of my parents. he was my escape. And the only person who would talk to me.

 I was devastated when we broke up, i didn't see it coming. I had a feeling his parents didn't like me, but i didn't expect them to make him break up with me. He told me his mom thought i was weird and too quiet and shit.

I was a 16 year old boy with trauma and selective mutism and level 2 autism.

But i didn't beg him to stay like i would have in the past. I had gotten used to people leaving me that i just accepted it. I trusted him to tell him about my ex, how he made me scared to be in love again.

the guy I'm describing now, I'll call him Dam. He was 6'6, a strong ass dude. But with me he was so gentle, he held me to make sure i wouldn't get hurt on the way back to my house after our date. At the retreat, i didn't like where my chair was at the table and he picked up my chair with me on it and moved it to where he had been sitting. When I almost cried because of a bug, he would take care of it. He took care of me, in a loving way. I'm just under 5'6, he was over a foot taller than me, but i never felt scared or intimidated by him. I loved him, and i finally felt the love back.

I'm going back to the camp in 2 weeks for a full week, and he will be there. I'm scared, because i hate awkward situations and i feel like it will be, because we were so close..

On May 30th (Saturday), my twin sister went to visit her boyfriend at his house, my dad had been at work since Thursday night, and my mom went to visit my great grandma. I was alone for most of the day, and at around 7:20 my older sister picked up my twin and me for a movie night with just us 3. It was a good night.

We were having a good night, we got some food, we were talking for a while, and then watched a horror movie. We were supposed to be home by like 10pm, but we always underestimate how much we will talk and we ended up getting home at midnight.

That was the first time since Thursday night that i saw my dad, and one of the first things he talked to me about was my final exams i took on Friday. My mom had told him i did really bad on them. On my Accelerated Chemistry exam, i got a 66%, which is almost failing. In Accelerated Algebra 2 exam i got a 57%, an F, so i failed it.

My dad is more strict than the rest of my family about my grades, and he congratulated my twin for getting a B on her chemistry one and a 78% on her algebra 2 one. He told me I could've done better, all that shit.

So i was upset, I was feeling horrible that day of my exams. if i didn't have exams that day i would've stayed home it was that bad.

I didn't know my great grandma was doing so bad though. At my sister's house, my mom called us to ask my older sister if she was going to visit Mom mom (great grandma) because they didn't know how much time she had left and thought she wouldn't make it through the night, she told us that at 11:40.

We were upset, i didn't even know mom mom was doing that bad.

I hadn't seen mom mom since pawpaws funeral in January (her husband/my great grandpa). My mom at first didn't think me and my twin should've seen her. but me, my twin and older sister were planning to visit her today (May 31st), but at 12:17am i was with my dad when he got the call saying mom mom didn't make it.

My older sister had just texted me and my twin at 12:16 am saying to be ready in the morning by 9am to see Mom mom, i replied and said okay, and then all i said was "we aren't going" because i had literally just heard she passed. My mom, twin, and older sister didn't know yet. I just kind of sat there, cause pawpaw died on January 14th, and i found out by my dad sending me a text right after i got out of school. His funeral was January 20th. I hadn't seen mom mom since.

I tried reaching out to friends, 1 read it and didn't answer, 1 did answer but then i said she died and he said "oh" and then left me on read. i wanted to talk to my twin, but she just went to her room and called her boyfriend. She has people to go to, and i don't. I was angry because i just wanted a hug and someone to talk to me. My mom and dad had gone up to Mom mom after she died to take care of stuff.

I don't know why im writing all of this, nobody really cares. But i hope it helps me at least a little bit.