Vikram & Betal : The Ghost's Riddles
1
King Vikram
Finally. This cremation ground is a total mess.
And it’s freezing tonight
King Vikram
Where is this tree? The tantric said it would be hard to miss
King Vikram
And there you are, hanging upside down like a massive, glowing bat.
Betal
Well, well, well. Look what the stormy night dragged in
Betal
If it isn’t the mighty, fearless King Vikramaditya.
I must say, your royal posture is even better in person
King Vikram
Cut the chatter, spirit. I’m here on a strict mission.
Get down from that branch. You’re coming with me to the mendicant
Betal
Oho, so demanding! And what if I like it up here?
Betal
Though... I have to admit, you look incredibly handsome when you're being all stern and authoritative. That royal turban really brings out your eyes.
King Vikram
Are you seriously flirting with me right now? You’re a spirit trapped in a corpse
Betal
Hey, a ghost can appreciate fine art when he sees it!
King Vikram
Just... get on my shoulder
Important Note: The King Vikram must carry Betal in absolute silence. If the King speaks or breaks his silence, Betal flies back to the tree....
Betal
\Climbs onto Vikram's back\
Mmm, much warmer than my branch. You’ve got broad shoulders, My King. Very comfortable
King Vikram
... 😠 /Starts walking, eyes locked ahead/
Betal
Wow, silent treatment already? You’re no fun
Betal
We have to cover a long distance and to relieve
the tedious walk, I will tell you a story. But you should not utter even
one word till we reach the destination. If by chance you utter
anything, I will fly back to the tamarind tree.
Betal
But let's make it interesting. At the end of my story, I’m going to ask you a riddle. A moral dilemma.
Betal
If you know the answer and choose to stay silent just to keep me captured... your head will shatter into a thousand pieces. I’d really hate to ruin that pretty face of yours, so you better answer honestly
King Vikram
... /Grips the sword tightly, keeping his lips sealed, but glances slightly back/
Betal
I’ll take that intense glare as a 'yes'
Betal
Get ready, Vikram. Our game begins now...
The three special Brahmins
Betal
So, My King, since you're being such a good listener, let me tell you about three brothers who were... well, almost as dramatic and picky as you are.
Betal
Once upon a time, there was a super-rich Brahmin named Vishnuswamin. He was setting up this massive, grand sacrifice
Betal
He had three sons who were legendary for being unbelievably fastidious. The eldest was a total snob about food. The second was impossible to please when it came to women. And the third? Total princess-and-the-pea vibes about beds
King Vikram
... /Keeps walking, though his eyes dart sideways, slightly intrigued/
Betal
Anyway, the dad needed a tortoise for the ritual. Standard sacrificial stuff. He sends the trio to catch one.
Betal
They find a tortoise easily, but then the drama starts.
1st son
I’m too refined to touch a slimy reptile
2nd son
No, I’m more fastidious than you, YOU touch it!
3rd son
Excuse me ? I'm clearly the most sensitive
Betal
It turns into a massive argument. So, naturally, they march straight to the local King to let him judge who is officially the most fastidious
King Vikram
... /Slightly rolls his eyes at the pettiness/
Betal
The King decides to host a test.
The king
Welcome to my court, boys. Since you claim to be so elite, I’ve set up a few little vibe checks. Let's see if you're legit or just pretending.
The king
I had my personal royal chefs cook you a legendary, exquisite feast. Why haven't you touched your plate?
1st son
Are you trying to insult me, Your Majesty? This rice is contaminated. I can literally smell burnt corpses in the grains.
The king
Wait, what? Let me call the supplier...
The king
Okay, wow. My inspectors just confirmed the rice was harvested from a field right next to the local cremation ground. That is insane. I'm genuinely impressed.
The king
2nd one your turn. I sent the most beautiful, heavily perfumed court concubine to your quarters. Why did you lock the door in her face?
2nd son
Beautiful? Perhaps to an untrained eye. But she smells exactly like a goat. It completely ruined the ambiance.
The king
A goat?! She uses literal royal jasmine oil! Hold on...
The king
Holy history, you're right. I just checked her childhood records—she was entirely raised on goat's milk as an infant. Your nose is a weapon, kid.
King Vikram
... /brows furrow in pure disbelief/
The king
3rd one you're up. I put you in my finest guest suite. **Seven huge, plush mattresses** stacked on top of each other. You should have slept like a baby.
3rd son
Slept like a baby? I woke up in absolute agony! My alignment is ruined! Look at this mark! /his shoulder showing a deep, angry red bruise/
The king
Through SEVEN mattresses?! Guards, tear that bed apart!
The king
Unbelievable... they found a single, tiny strand of human hair trapped at the very bottom, beneath the seventh mattress. You guys are mutants. You're all officially hired as my royal advisors
Betal
/Chuckles softly, his glowing aura shifting as he leans over Vikram's shoulder/
Betal
And that brings us back to us, My Handsome King
Betal
Who among the three brothers is truly the most fastidious?
Betal
Remember the rules, Vikram. If you know the answer and keep your mouth shut just to keep me trapped... *boom*. Your pretty head shatters into a thousand pieces. Speak to me...
King Vikram
... /Stops walking, releases a heavy, annoyed sigh/
King Vikram
It is obviously the third son.
Betal
Oho! The silent King types! Tell me why, darling~ 💕
King Vikram
The first two could have easily cheated. They could have gathered gossip, checked local crop rotations, or researched the girl's background beforehand to fake their 'special senses'.
King Vikram
But the third son had actual, physical proof. You cannot fake a deep red bruise on your flesh caused by a hair through seven thick mattresses. His sensitivity was a genuine physical reality, not a guessed trick.
Betal
/Gasps dramatically/
Betal
An absolutely brilliant answer, My King! So sharp, so logical... you really are the total package.
Betal
But... you forgot the most important rule. **You broke your silence.**
Betal
Catch me if you can, Vikram! Catch ya later, bye!
The Three Sensitive Queens
Betal
/Giggling as he hovers right over Vikram's head, his long hair brushing the King's shoulder/ Did you miss me, Vikram? I knew you'd come back to the tree for me. Since you love walking so much, let me tell you about a King named Dharmadhvaja from Ujjayani. He had three queens who were so incredibly delicate, they make your dramatic little sighs look tough.
KING DHARMADHVAJA
Call the Royal_Doctor!! Come to the royal chambers immediately! It is an absolute emergency!
ROYAL_DOCTOR
Your Majesty! What happened?! Is there an assassin? An invasion?!
KING DHARMADHVAJA
Worse! I was playfully ruffling Queen_1_Lotus's hair, and the lotus flower tucked behind her ear fell off. It landed directly on her thigh and caused a massive, deep wound! She is in tears!
Queen_1_Lotus
It hurts so much! The petals were like literal razor blades! I need a silk bandage immediately!
ROYAL_DOCTOR
...A lotus petal? A soft, velvety flower petal gave her a wound? I... right away, Your Majesty. Packing the medical kit now
Betal
/Whispering/ Can you believe that, Vikram? One flower petal and she's incapacitated. But wait, it gets better.
KING DHARMADHVAJA
Royal_Doctor!! Wake up! We are on the palace roof garden and another tragedy has struck!
ROYAL_DOCTOR
Sir, it is 2:00 AM on a peaceful full moon night. What could possibly be wrong now?
KING DHARMADHVAJA
The moon! It is too bright! Queen_2_Moonlight was just sitting here enjoying the night, and suddenly her skin started blistering and burning from the moonbeams!
Queen_2_Moonlight
Ahhh! The moonlight is scorching me alive! It feels like a sunburn but worse! Get me some cooling aloe vera cream before my flawless skin is ruined!
ROYAL_DOCTOR
/Heavy sigh/ Sunburn from the moon. Got it. Bringing the soothing lotion up to the roof right now.
Betal
/Laughing softly, his breath warm against Vikram's cheek/ Honestly, the drama in that palace was top-tier. But the third queen? She took the crown.
KING DHARMADHVAJA
Royal_Doctor!!! Drop everything! Queen_3_Sound has completely collapsed on the floor! She is unconscious!
ROYAL_DOCTOR
Oh goodness! Did she get hit by a pillow? Did a feather fall on her?!
KING DHARMADHVAJA
No! We were just sitting quietly, and miles and miles away in the city, a peasant started using a heavy mortar to grind some rice. She heard the distant thumping sound from across the kingdom and her nervous system completely shut down from the shock!
Queen_3_Sound
The acoustic violence... my ears... everything is spinning...
ROYAL_DOCTOR
I am changing my profession tomorrow. Heading to her chambers now.
Betal
/Wrapping his arms lightly around Vikram's neck from behind, a playful grin on his face/ And so, King Dharmadhvaja spent the rest of his days wrapping his wives in bubble wrap.
Betal
Now, my handsome, brooding King... answer me this before your head explodes into a thousand pieces. Who among these three queens is truly the most sensitive? Speak to me, Vikram~
King Vikram
... /Stops walking in the middle of the foggy graveyard, glares at Betal/
King Vikram
It is the third queen, without a doubt.
Betal
Oh wow, you didn't even hesitate this time! Tell me your brilliant reasoning, handsome.
King Vikram
The first queen was physically touched by the weight of the lotus flower. The second queen was physically touched by the radiation and light of the full moon.
King Vikram
But the third queen wasn't touched by any physical object or light. She merely heard a distant sound from miles away, and her internal sensitivity was so extreme that just the perception of a distant noise caused her physical body to collapse. Her delicacy is purely internal and far more profound than the other two
Betal
/Gasps dramatically, squeezing Vikram's shoulders in pure delight/ Ah! Brilliant! Sensational! Your mind is just as attractive as your face, Vikram! You get a perfect score!
Betal
But, oops... you broke the golden rule again. You talked to me.
King Vikram
Seriously?! I hate this game.
Betal
See you back at the tree, darling! Catch me if you can!
King Vikram
I am going to chop that tree down.
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