Kiss Me, I’M Escaping Novel PDF Free Download

escape kiss

Louis Garrel as Louis (32) Profession: Venture Capitalist & CEO of Garrel Holdings

Léa Seydoux as Léa (25) Profession: Freelance Graphic Designer / Digital Illustrator

(Texting) Léa, if you ruin this blind date, don’t bother coming back to the house. He is an incredibly wealthy, successful businessman. Be charming.

lea seydoux(fl)

(Typing back, sighing) I’m already at the restaurant, Vanessa. Sitting right across from him.

I threw my phone into my bag, trying to suppress a shudder. My step-mother had outdone herself this time. The man sitting across from me looked at least double my age. He had greasy hair combed over a prominent bald spot and a thick gold watch that he kept tapping loudly against the mahogany table.

So, Léa. Your mother told me you’re a quiet, traditional girl. That’s good. I despise loud women. My first three wives were very quiet and obedient.

lea seydoux(fl)

(Frowning, freezing mid-sip of my water) Your… first three wives? What happened to them?

(Waving his hand dismissively) Oh, they passed away. One after the other. Tragic, really. Sickly genes, I suppose.

lea seydoux(fl)

(My heart drops. I grip the table) Wait. All three of your wives died?!

(Leaning forward, giving me a creepy, gap-toothed grin) Don’t look so terrified, my dear! You see this?

He pulled a heavy, tarnished silver amulet out from under his shirt, letting it dangle over his soup.

I bought this spiritual amulet from a shaman during my travels. It completely protects my household now. You will live. I am certain of it.

lea seydoux(fl)

(Voice trembling, completely freaked out) Right… wonderful. Good to know. So, uh, out of curiosity, what exactly is your marriage criteria?

(Adjusting his collar proudly) Simple. I need a virgin girl. Pure, untouched, clean. And she must be healthy, because we are going to make twenty kids.

lea seydoux(fl)

(Gasps, violently choking on my water) Twenty?! Are you insane?!

(Nodding seriously) A massive legacy is very important to me. Twenty children will carry my name forward.

My mind went into absolute, frantic hyperdrive. I was trapped in a five-star restaurant with a literal psychopath who wanted a cult-sized family and probably had his three dead wives buried under his floorboards. I needed to get out. Now.

lea seydoux(fl)

You know… mothers can lie, okay?

(Frowning, eyes narrowing) What? What do you mean by that?

lea seydoux(fl)

(Taking a deep, dramatic breath, faking a teary look) I am pregnant.

(His jaw drops. He slams his fists onto the table) What?! Pregnant?! Without being married?! Who is the father?! Tell me!

lea seydoux(fl)

(Panicking, looking around the crowded room wildly) The father? He’s… he’s right there!

I pointed my finger randomly at the nearest table. My finger landed directly on a fragile, eighty-year-old man who was struggling to chew a piece of bread.

(Horrified, staring at the old man) Him?! That ancient man is the father of your child?!

lea seydoux(fl)

(Cursing myself mentally) No! No, not him! I mean—

Just then, the grand glass doors of the restaurant swung open. A man walked in, flanked by three sharp-suited assistants. He wore a perfectly tailored charcoal overcoat, his dark, messy curls perfectly framing a brooding, aristocratic face. It was Louis Garrel. He looked incredibly intense, radiating power and arrogance, clearly heading toward a VIP meeting room.

lea seydoux(fl)

(Quickly shifting my finger to point at him) Him! He is the father!

Sir, the board members from the tech firm are already waiting in the private dining suite.

louis garrel(ml)

Good. Let’s get this over with quickly. I don’t have time to waste on their hesitation today.

Of course, Mr. Garrel. I have the updated contracts right here on the tablet.

I was walking through the main dining area of the restaurant, completely focused on the multi-million dollar merger ahead of me. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a finger pointed directly at me. Before I could even process who it belonged to, a beautiful blonde woman bolted from her table and threw herself straight into my path.

louis garrel(ml)

(Stopping dead in my tracks, my eyes narrowing in annoyance) What the—

She grabbed the lapels of my expensive wool coat, staring up at me with wide, desperate blue eyes.

lea seydoux(fl)

(Whispering frantically, standing on her tiptoes) Sorry sir, I have to kiss you!

louis garrel(ml)

Excuse me—?

Before the words could fully leave my mouth, she pulled my collar down and pressed her lips firmly against mine.

(Gasping loudly) Oh my god!

(The tablet literally slips from his hands, his jaw dropping to the floor)

I froze completely. The entire restaurant seemed to go dead silent. Some strange, gorgeous woman had just hijacked me in a public place, gripped my coat like a lifeline, and was currently kissing me. Her lips were incredibly soft, tasting faintly of lemon water, and she was trembling like a leaf. I didn’t push her away immediately. I was in a state of sheer, unadulterated shock. Nobody touched me without my permission, let alone this.

Over her shoulder, I saw a middle-aged man in a terrible, cheap suit staring at us, his face turning an angry, vibrant shade of purple.

(Yelling from across the room, completely disgusted) Shameless! Absolutely disgusting and shameless!

The angry man kicked his chair back, grabbed his coat, and stormed out of the restaurant, muttering curses under his breath. The moment the restaurant doors slammed shut behind him, the woman instantly pulled back, breathless, her cheeks flushed bright red.

louis garrel(ml)

(Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, gasping for air) Disgusting.

louis garrel(ml)

I glared at her, my blood boiling.

louis garrel(ml)

Do you have any idea who I am?

lea seydoux(fl)

(Blinking, taking a nervous step back, holding her hands up) No, sir. I’m so sorry. I don’t know who you are. I just… I really needed to escape that man.

She turned around, preparing to run away and leave me standing there like an idiot in front of my staff.

louis garrel(ml)

(Reaching out quickly, grabbing her wrist to stop her) Not so fast.

lea seydoux(fl)

(Gasping, looking down at my grip on her wrist) Sir?

louis garrel(ml)

(Leaning in close, my voice low and dark) You just ruined my reputation in front of my assistants, kissed me without permission, and used me as a shield.

lea seydoux(fl)

(Swallowing hard) It was an emergency!

louis garrel(ml)

(A slow, mocking smirk playing on my lips as I glance back at my shocked assistants, then back to her) Well, now you need to find a way for my escape. Because I am absolutely not going to that boring business meeting anymore. Come with me.

engagement

lea seydoux(fl)

(Looking out the tinted window of the sleek black sports car) Wait. Stop the car. Why are we pulling up to a five-star hotel? And why are there a hundred paparazzi outside?!

louis garrel(ml)

(Stepping out of the car, adjusting his cuffs casually) Because this is where my escape begins.

lea seydoux(fl)

(Scrambling out after him, looking down at my casual dress) Louis, wait! You dragged me straight out of the restaurant into this! What is happening here?

Before I could run, Louis grabbed my hand, pulling me right through the flash photography and into a grand, glittering ballroom. Thousands of crystal chandeliers were blinding. Everyone was in tuxedos and ballgowns.

Louis! Where have you been? The board members said you skipped the merger meeting! And who is this?

louis garrel(ml)

Everyone. Change of plans. I’m canceling the arranged merger marriage. This is Léa. My actual fiancé.

lea seydoux(fl)

(Whispering furiously, my jaw dropping) Are you insane?! For one little kiss in a restaurant, you are doing this to me?!

louis garrel(ml)

You used me as a shield, sweetheart. Now it’s my turn. Act. Just play along, or I’ll tell the security guards you’re a stalker.

The entire ballroom went dead silent. My mother looked like she was about to faint, and the high-society guests were whispering frantically.

Fiancé? Louis, you have never mentioned her! Where is her ring?

louis garrel(ml)

(Reaching into my vest pocket, pulling out a massive, flawless diamond ring I had been carrying to reject my mother's choice) Right here.

I grabbed Léa’s hand. She was trembling with rage, her blue eyes glaring daggers at me. I tried to slip the ring onto her ring finger, but she stubbornly stiffened her hand. In the rush and the struggle under the table's view, the massive diamond slipped right onto her middle finger instead.

louis garrel(ml)

(Smirking, locking eyes with her) Perfect.

He literally just forced a diamond onto my middle finger. The sheer audacity of this billionaire!

lea seydoux(fl)

(Squinting, looking confused) Wait… Louis, why is the ring on her middle finger? Is this some new modern trend?

Everyone in the crowd leaned in, staring intently at my hand. My temper completely flared. If Louis wanted a dramatic scene, I was going to give him one.

lea seydoux(fl)

(Lifting my hand up high, proudly extending my middle finger right in front of the crowd) Oh, this? Yes! It’s a very special tradition.

I literally flipped off the entire high-society crowd of Paris with a million-dollar diamond ring.

louis garrel(ml)

(Gasping, his eyes widening in pure shock) Léa.

Did she just…

lea seydoux(fl)

(Realizing what I did, my heart hammering. I quickly extend the rest of my fingers, waving my hand around with a bright, fake smile) …A tradition of showing off the shine! See? Look at how it catches the light on all my fingers! Trés chic, right?

The silence stretched for three agonizing seconds. Then, a young guy in the front row burst out laughing. Suddenly, the tension broke, and the entire ballroom erupted into amused laughter, thinking it was a quirky, bold joke from a modern artist.

louis garrel(ml)

(Leaning down, gripping my waist tighter, a low, dangerous chuckle escaping his lips) You are absolutely unhinged, aren’t you?

lea seydoux(fl)

You haven't seen anything yet, billionaire. Now, how are we getting out of here?

thud

lea seydoux(fl)

(Gulping down a third glass of expensive champagne from a passing waiter’s tray) If I don’t get out of this dress and away from these snobs in the next ten minutes, I’m going to lose my mind.

I stood by the buffet table, trying to blend into the curtains. The fake engagement drama was exhausting, and the heavy diamond ring on my middle finger felt like a ticking time bomb.

(Walking up, wearing a pink silk gown, arms crossed) Well, well. Look what the cat dragged in from the streets.

So this is the girl Louis disrupted a multi-million dollar merger for? Honestly, I’m underwhelmed.

lea seydoux(fl)

Can I help you ladies? Or are you just here to decorate the wallpaper?

Let’s be real, honey. Louis's original engagement partner, Mademoiselle Vivienne, is a literal heiress. She’s elegant, rich, and a hundred times better than whatever low-class artist you are. You’re just a temporary distraction.

Exactly. Look at your hair. Look at your cheap posture. You don't belong here. Louis will dump you by tomorrow morning.

My blood boiled. I had endured a horrific blind date, a hostage situation by a brooding billionaire, and now a high-society high school reunion. I snapped. SLAP! The sound echoed sharply near the buffet. Girl 1 stumbled back, clutching her bright red cheek, her eyes wide with total shock.

You hit me?! Are you insane?!

lea seydoux(fl)

Oh my god, girl! You had a massive bug on your face! A disgusting, giant cockroach! I just saved your life!

You liar! There was no bug! You’re going to pay for this!

Girl 2 swung her arm back, aiming a massive slap right at my face. I panicked, ducking instantly to the side. At that exact moment, I swung my heavy, vintage leather handbag backward to defend myself. I expected to hit the girl. I didn't. THUD.

Sir, the press is having a field day with the "middle finger" incident. Your stock prices are actually up by two percent because people find it 'refreshing.'

louis garrel(ml)

(Sipping black coffee, walking through the crowd) Idiots. All of them. Just make sure my mother doesn't try to book a wedding venue for next week. Where did that chaotic girl go?

I believe she is by the buffet, sir.

I walked toward the lounge area, intending to grab Léa and finally leave this pathetic party. Just as I stepped around the floral arrangement, I saw a girl swinging her hand to strike Léa. Léa ducked. Brilliant defense. What wasn't brilliant was her heavy, metal-buckled leather handbag swinging wildly through the air in a perfect, horizontal arc. Directly. Into. My. Groin.

louis garrel(ml)

(My eyes bulging out of my head, my breath instantly trapping in my throat) Uh—

The world lost all color. The sheer, unadulterated agony radiated from my manhood straight up to my brain. I dropped my coffee cup, my hands instantly hovering over myself as I bent double, my knees shaking violently.

(Covering his mouth, letting out a loud, uncontrollable snort) Pfft!

(Biting his own lip so hard it bled, turning around to hide a massive, body-shaking laugh) Oh my god...

louis garrel(ml)

(Voice a strained, high-pitched whisper, glaring at them) If either of you… laughs… you are… fired.

lea seydoux(fl)

(Staring at Louis, who was currently curled into a ball on the floor, groaning in absolute agony) Oh… oh no.

(Gasping, backing away into the crowd)

lea seydoux(fl)

(Whispering) I am so, so sorry! It was a defensive maneuver!

Before Louis could recover his breath and order his security team to execute me, I spun around on my heels and sprinted out of the hotel’s side exit. I ran three blocks into the rainy night, hopped into a random taxi, and didn't look back until I was locked safely inside my tiny apartment. Dropping onto my couch, I realized the massive diamond ring was still stuck on my middle finger.

lea seydoux(fl)

(Panicking) Oh my god, who even is that guy? Louis… Louis Garrel.

I pulled out my phone, my hands shaking as I typed his name into the search bar. The search results instantly flooded my screen, and my jaw dropped lower with every swipe.

Headline: "Louis Garrel: The Most Ruthless Billionaire in Europe." Article Snippet: CEO of Garrel Holdings, controlling 40% of the venture capital market. Known for his cold, merciless business tactics and his complete intolerance for media games. Another Article: Why does Louis Garrel hate women? A history of his brutally rude behavior toward high-society heiresses.

Gossip Forum Thread: "Is Louis Garrel secretly gay? Why the billionaire bachelor refuses to date, smiles at no one, and treats every woman like an annoyance."

I stared at the screen, my heart hammering against my ribs like a trapped bird.

lea seydoux(fl)

He isn’t just a rich guy… he’s the billionaire. The one who destroys companies for breakfast. And he treats girls like absolute trash if they cross him.

I looked down at the massive, sparkling diamond on my hand. I had kissed him without permission, flipped off his entire family, and then effectively incapacitated his future bloodline with a vintage handbag.

lea seydoux(fl)

(Burying my face in a pillow, groaning) I am dead. He is going to find me, sue me into poverty, and then destroy my entire life. I need to move to Antarctica. Immediately.

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