It was 10 years.

The amount of time Astelle tried to die for him.

Astelle von Reston was severely educated to become the Crown Princess of the Empire.

Liberal arts classes in politics, history, military studies, as well as all kinds of arts and literature.

And even more difficult and esoteric court manners than mathematical formulas.

I couldn’t play or rest like other kids.

I only studied.

It was harsh enough, but Astelle endured everything and tried not to die.

Everything was for the little boy I first met on my 10th birthday.

***

Kaizen, Prince of the Rastiel Empire, a boy with dark hair and red eyes.

On her 10th birthday, Kaizen gave Astelle a necklace with blue gems as a gift.

It was the ‘blue moonlight’, a treasure of the imperial family received by the Empress of the Rastiel Empire.

It was a sign of an engagement to the royal family.

On that day, Astelle officially became the prince’s fiancee.

How happy I was at that moment.

The moment he hung the blue jewel around her neck, Astelle gained her purpose in life.

Another 10 years passed like that.

Astelle, as the preliminary crown princess, continued to strive to become empress.

Since the empress had passed away early, she went to the imperial palace without the empress in her spare time to study.

I also fulfilled my responsibilities as an empress. (I’m sorry I know this doesn’t flow well repeating “empress” so many times T_T)

I visited his Majesty the Emperor and helped with the work of the Imperial Palace.

Everything was good until then.

As the seasons beyond the study window changed countless times, the relationship between the two also changed little by little.

One day, ominous rumors began to hover around the mansion, as the cold wind swept away the panoramic view of spring.

The story of the Crown Prince wanting to break up with Astelle spread slowly around like a damp fog.

Astelle’s father, Duke von Reston, hastened their marriage to dispel rumors.

At the request of the Duke, who was the emperor’s closest aide and friend, the two finally officially became a married couple.

The first night after the wedding.

The prince asked for the understanding that he did not want to have children right away.

And to Astelle, it felt like a kind consideration.

“We’re still young and the Emperor is still here, so we have plenty of time. I want to have a child slowly after you adjust to the Imperial Palace.”

Astelle was rather grateful to Kaizen.

It would have been more difficult to have children as soon as I became the Crown Princess.

However, as long as the wedding took place, the first night had to be held.

“I’m fine. Then, for the time being, I will take medicine.”

If you don’t spend the first night together, people will misunderstand.

So Astelle convinced Kaizen that she would take the pill.

Kaizen said after agonizing for a while.

“No. I don’t want to burden you.”

Kaizen asked Astelle for consent and took the pill himself.

Kaizen treated the nervous Astelle dearly, and courteously from beginning to end.

Astelle was happy.

Although it was only a political marriage, we will respect each other and live as a couple for a lifetime.

Astelle believed so.

However, that dream was short-lived.

***

“Please divorce me.”

That afternoon, Kaizen, who became emperor, told Astelle, who became the empress, his demands.

“This marriage was what my late father wanted. I didn’t want to marry you for a single moment. So you’d better clean up without further delay.” (Oh hell no-)

It was an extremely concise and indifferent glance as if he was clearing up the remains of his deceased father.

“You never loved me anyway, right?”

“…”

At that moment, Astelle thought of the necklace that was hanging around her neck.

After meeting Kaizen for the first time at the age of 10, she never took off the necklace he gave her.

The formal letters exchanged while waiting for him to come back from war, I remember every word and sentence we exchanged lightly at banquets.

It was time to face the sad reality.

It was all memorable for her, but not for the man in front of her.

Now I can fully understand Kaizen’s intention to have the child slowly last night, as if he were considerate of her.

He had planned to abandon Astelle from the start.

It was the moment when everything I had believed in for 10 years broke.

Looking at his cold red eyes, which had not a speck of affection, Astelle decided to tell the lie that he wanted.

For the man who was the reason for her life until she was 20, but only a husband for a day.

“Yes, it is right.”

I didn’t love you.

That’s how the one-day empress life of Astelle, made the record for being the shortest empress in history, ended.

***

As soon as the new emperor was crowned, the empress was expelled.

It was something that caused a great stir in the empire.

Originally, the royal family could not divorce easily.

If one side opposes the divorce, they will be taken to court and face a lengthy legal battle.

Even so, most divorces do not happen.

Once they’ve exchanged their wedding vows, even an emperor cannot break a sacred marriage without the consent of both parties.

But Astelle’s divorce ended unexpectedly and simply.

This is because Astelle, the party concerned, agreed to divorce without a hitch.

“Yes, I want a divorce too.”

The new emperor wanted a divorce as soon as he ascended to the throne, but the empress agreed, so there was no justification to oppose it.

Her father and other great noblemen were stunned, but Astelle took off the empress’ crown without any hesitation.

After becoming the Empress, everything would’ve been easy.

I worked hard, practiced, and prepared for such a long time to become the empress.

When she left the empress position, all she had left was comfort and relief.

“You’re no longer my daughter,” he said, “for throwing away the queen’s seat without even fighting. Get out of my house right now.” (@annmato called him an a**hole, I completely agree)

The woman was disowned at the door for allowing such an easy divorce.

An attendant from the imperial palace came to send money for living, but Astelle refused.

And she left the capital.

I bought a small house near a forest by using the money I had collected and selling the jewelry I had since I was young.

I was thinking of spending the rest of my life quietly there.

I thought that if I could sell embroidery or paintings, I would be able to make enough money for living expenses.

Time passed by quietly and peacefully, until a few days later, I heard shocking words from a nearby pharmacist.

“Well… I think you are pregnant?”

***

The sound of footsteps came downstairs.

The ominous sound of stepping on the cold stone floor was approaching quickly.

Astelle rushed to the closet and found a wooden closet that was roughly attached to a damp stone wall.

Except for the bed, it was the only piece of furniture in the room.

She opened the door and ran through the roughly packed parcels to find a small bottle of medicine.

It’s been two months since I’ve been on the run.

For the past week, Astelle has been on the second floor of this small bakery.

During the day, I made bread or helped with chores at the store downstairs, and at night I slept with my child in a small room on the second floor.

It was a difficult life, but I couldn’t do anything about it running on a tight budget.

Still, this place wasn’t bad compared to other places.

The owner of the store was good, and because it was a small rural village, there were not many people.

Astelle went to bed and shook the child buried under the old quilt to wake him up.

“Theor.”

The dark-haired child lying in the bed slowly got up and opened his eyes.

Dark red pupils were revealed in the delicate eyes.

‘Please, I prayed you didn’t have his eyes.’

However, the child was born to resemble his father’s dark hair and red eyes.

Still, Theor was a lovely child.

The little face was cute like a doll. After waking up, the child rubbed his eyes with a small hand.

Astelle held the child’s soft white cheeks affectionately in both hands and said, looking at his eyes.

“Theor, do you remember what mom said?”

The child tilted his head, and blinked his sleepy eyes.

“Ooh… a play?”

“Yes.”

Fortunately, Astelle’s child Theor, was smart for his age and understood well.

Ever since the child learned to speak, and was able to understand the word play, Astelle has been practicing with the child for things like this.

Astelle raised the child’s head and opened the medicine bottle she found in the closet.

Then, she dropped each drop into the eyes of the child who she gently lifted the face of.

As Theor blinked, his blood-red eyes gradually turned blue as if paint was spreading.

“Thank you for your patience.”

Looking at his blue eyes, Astelle hugged the child and kissed his forehead.

The skin that touched her lips smelled like soft milk.

Bang bang!

At that moment, there was a knock outside as if to break the door.

Astelle hurriedly hid the medicine bottle in her arms.

The door was ripped off with a bang before she could even go out and open it.

Knights dressed in military uniforms of the Imperial Army entered through the ragged door.

“Lady Astelle?”

The man who seemed to have the highest position among the knights approached Astelle.

He held the child in his arms and spoke in a concise manner to Astelle, who was standing by the bedside.

“Your Majesty the emperor is looking for you.”

6 years ago, when Astelle found out she was pregnant, her first feeling was intense fear.

“Pregnancy?”

I couldn’t believe it at first.

How? I’m sure Kaizen took birth control pills.

“There is a chance that such a drug will fail.”

The pharmacist explained that it was possible.

Even if they both take medicine, she still could become pregnant.

Astell listened to her explanation in fascination.

It was about two months after my divorce.

I set up a new home in a quiet place and lived alone, but I still couldn’t block news from the rest of the world.

Astelle learned that with the death of the Emperor, the peace of the Empire had disappeared.

The previous virtuous and good Emperor did not try to suppress the power of the great nobility.

In fact, he had no ambition or ability to do so.

But Kaizen was different.

It was only after he became the Emperor that everyone learned this young Emperor was different from the old Emperor.

A month after he became Emperor, Kaizen discovered the corruption of Duke Milstad, the weakest of the strongest nobles, and destroyed his family.

After that, he continued to purge the powerful nobles one after another.

Kaizen wanted to get rid of all the great nobles who threatened the Emperor to gain power.

He also proved that he was capable.

The high lord of the north caused a revolt but was then suppressed by the Emperor’s army, and his entire family was then annihilated.

All those who watched while holding their breaths would know.

The days of the former Emperor and some powerful houses being balanced in power were over without any major problems.

From that time on, imperial politics were divided into two factions. The Emperor’s group, made up of new bureaucrats who supported the Emperor, and the aristocratic group of great nobility. The two fractions fought fiercely.

Astelle’s father, Duke Reston, naturally became the head of the great nobles.

‘If I tell you that I’m pregnant…’

What will happen to this child?

She was no longer the Empress.

However, the child was the Emperor’s child and was the only heir to the present day.

Astelle quickly determined the situation.

Knowing that she had a child, her father would make this child emperor and become a regent. (In case you didn’t know, it means that the father will try to become a regent. A regent is a person appointed to administer a country because the monarch is a minor.)

And if he finds out that the child in her stomach is a threat to him, Kaizen will try to get rid of this child.

I couldn’t expect either side to care or protect the child.

Astelle couldn’t let her child be used in political battles.

She did not desire to leave her child’s life to men crazy about power, and only watch in fear.

She was abandoned by both the emperor and her father.

The child was all she had left.

‘It’s not the Emperor’s child, it’s my child. I will protect this child and raise it with my own hands.’

When she found out she was pregnant, she thought about it over and over again and made that decision.

I’m going to hide the kid and raise him alone.

* * *

Astelle walked helplessly, hugging Theor.

With each step, dry soil and stone debris were stepped on.

The soles of my feet were sore and hurt.

It was because she was dragged out from her room wearing thin slippers without changing her shoes.

The cold air that permeated my skin cleared my mind each time I took a step.

Astelle wrapped Theor with the hem of an old coat over her shoulder.

The rose bushes on the stone wall filled the chilly dawn air with the smell of light floral scent.

The northeastern part of the continent was a place where frost fell on the dry land every morning until April.

Even though it is now May, the land is still experiencing cold winds from the mountains in the morning and evening.

A few steps ahead, an old castle used as a permanent residence stood against the backdrop of the bluish dawn sky.

The hat was dragged towards it. (From the wind)

The knights guided her to the reception room situated in the center of the castle.

In the room, there was a man in front of a fireplace with firewood burning.

When she saw him, Astelle felt like her heart stopped.

She made up her mind and went inside.

It has been six years since they broke up when she was 20.

Kaizen did not change much from that time.

Black hair like the night sky and dark red eyes.

His appearance, which is more stunning than the torch that decorates the temple, has always been praised by aristocrats.

Although his appearance was the same, Kaizen now has an atmosphere that was more confident and stronger compared to when he was 20.

Like a man who has lived as an emperor for the past six years, even though he is still young, in his late 20s, his whole body had an air of dignity and honourability.

‘You’ve become such a wonderful man when I didn’t see you.’

Bitter thoughts filled the depth of my heart.

There was a time when I felt a heart-fluttering affection for him.

But now all those warm feelings have withered.

Love disappeared without a trace, and only a dry and desolate emptiness remained like a dry branch.

Astelle suppressed her bitter feelings and knelt before him with the child.

“I see your Majesty the Emperor, the Lord of the Empire.”

Now, this man has become the Emperor, best suited for the title ‘Lord of the Empire’.

The political dispute between the Emperor and the nobility ended with the Emperor’s victory.

Almost all the great nobles who opposed the emperor for the past six years have disappeared.

Kaizen became the most powerful Emperor who fully ruled the Empire.

He has become a real leader with power so strong that no one can blame him for killing someone he doesn’t like.

“It’s been 6 years.”

His voice was not that different from before.

Astelle stood up and faced him.

Familiar red eyes glanced at Astelle.

His gaze shifted to Astelle’s monotonous gray cotton dress, with no patterns or decorations, and the rough pelerine laid on top. (FYI, a pelerine is sorta a woman’s cape of lace or silk with pointed ends at the center front.)

And finally, when the gaze fell to the old indoor shoes made of weaving of leftover fabric, a wrinkle was briefly formed in the good-looking brows.

Kaizen’s face was filled with surprise and displeasure.

It seemed that he was shocked by Astelle’s poor appearance.

“I guess things weren’t good.”

What did he expect after dragging me here before it’s even dawn?

Well, Astelle always looked her best in front of this man.

All we had to do was stand face to face for a few minutes, but I put on make-up and groomed my hair for several hours.

Then, she tightened her body with a corset, and she picked out the most beautiful dresses and jewelry.

It was tiring, hard, and sometimes even painful.

But for a while, I would endure everything to look beautiful to this man.

It was a foolish effort.

Those days are now over.

Now Astelle didn’t care about how this man looked at her.

“I didn’t have time to change clothes. It’s too early.”

Well, there’s nothing better to change into than this.

Astelle raised Theor in the old mansion of her maternal grandfather located at the eastern edge.

Because it was a poor household without any servants, Astelle planted, cultivated, made, and cooked food from the garden herself.

She was not a noble lady now, but a commoner.

All her beautiful and colorful dresses were disposed of a long time ago.

“Why did you keep running away?”

Kaizen looked at Astel as if he couldn’t understand her.

He has been trying to find Astelle for the past two months.

If Astelle hadn’t run away so cautiously, she would have been caught long ago.

After holding out for two months, I ended up being caught like this.

Well, I couldn’t run away forever.

Where was I going to go? The entire continent was part of the Empire, all of which belonged to this man.

When Astelle couldn’t answer, he laughed.

“Did you think I would catch you and kill you?”

“…”

Until two months ago, Astelle didn’t run away.

At the house of her maternal grandfather, it was tiring for her body, but her heart was still at ease. One day, she was surprised by the news that the Emperor’s knights were looking for her, so she ran away.

I couldn’t figure out what was going on, so I had no choice but to run away first.

Just in case.

I couldn’t meet this man until I knew for sure whether it was related to the child or not.

Still, after running away for the past two months, I found out that it wasn’t related to this child.

It would’ve been upsetting if they were looking for the hidden prince.

Even so, I still couldn’t guess what was going on.

‘Why are you looking for me now?’

Astelle asked Kaizen, hiding her anxious and trembling heart.

“Why did you try to find me?”

“You made me look for you for two months, but you want an answer so quickly.”

Kaizen replied irritably.

Theor was surprised by the sharp gaze of a strange man he saw for the first time and grabbed Astelle’s skirt with his small hand.

At that moment, Kaizen’s gaze turned to the child.

“Who is that kid?”

Astelle gulped nervously.

I had imagined and prepared countless times in case this moment would come.

However, simply preparing in the mind did not help much when it came to reality.

My heart pounded endlessly.

Astelle forced herself to pull herself together and face Kaizen with the calmest expression.

I could see a questioning filled in the familiar red eyes.

I remember the last time I lied to him and left.

Astelle still did not regret that moment.

And now I was confident I would never regret this lie either.

“This is my nephew.”

“Your nephew?”

Kaizen frowned as if he doubted it.

It was worth it.

Fritz, Astelle’s real brother, used to stay beside Kaizen as the Vice Commander of the Knight Guards a few years ago.

“Not my brother’s, but Sigmund’s child… So he’s my cousin’s child.”

Sigmund was the only child of her maternal uncle, who, unfortunately, died during the civil war in the north, precisely six months before Theor was born.

Astelle asked her maternal grandfather, Marquis Carlenberg, who had lost his heir, to register Theor as Sigmund’s son.

As a child who was born from a maid who was known as Sigmund’s lover.

The maid, who had been working in her mother’s house for her entire life, registered as the child’s mother on official documents, and then left on a condition that she will continue receiving Sigmund’s death pension until her death.

Astelle heard that she married a rich merchant and was living well now.

“I thought Your Majesty knew about it too?”

Astelle looked at Kaizen with a calm expression and, as if she was surprised, she opened her eyes wide.

“My grandfather sent me documents to obtain permission for this child to be approved as a successor to the Calenberg family… with a birth certificate and blood ties.”

Of course, it was Astelle who sent those documents.

Astelle did everything flawlessly to make it seem that Theor was Sigmund’s child.

As though her cousin really did have an illegitimate child with a maid, she also commissioned a temple to conduct a blood test with her grandfather.

The result was, of course, matching blood ties.

To her grandfather, Sigmund was his real grandson, and Astelle was his granddaughter, both of them were still his grandchildren but only held different titles.

Whether he is Sigmund’s son or Astelle’s son, he will still be considered as a great-grandchild to her grandfather.

Therefore, there was no problem with the test results.

Astelle pretended to hold Theor’s hand, by gently clasping the child’s little finger.

This was their own prearranged secret code.

Theor, who had kept his mouth shut as promised, grabbed Astelle’s hem and looked up.

“Aunt Astelle…?”

“Yes, Theor. It’s okay. Everything will be okay.”

Astelle pretended to soothe Theor, by hugging him and patting his back.

Theor was following well, as they had practised several times.

The rules of’ the ‘play’ that Astelle taught were simple enough to suit the child’s level.

Instead of calling her mother, he has to call her Aunt Astelle.

'Don’t talk a lot unless someone asks, and if she holds his little finger, he should say Aunt Astelle.'

Astelle had practised several times with the child, step-by-step, in a calm manner so that he could understand and adapt to it well.

She made sure not to scold him for making mistakes so that it wouldn’t backfire when he was nervous, and she gave him a snack as a prize whenever he did well.

When watching them, her grandfather would laugh bitterly while saying, ‘It seems like we’re doing some kind of emergency evacuation drill.’

Everyone would be suspicious if a divorced Empress was taking care of a child who had no connection to her, but no one would be suspicious if she stayed with her maternal grandfather and cared for the child of her deceased cousin.

Kaizen was also suspicious when he heard the child’s voice.

“Oh, yeah. I guess I did hear that he left an infant before he died. But why are you looking after him?”

“There was no one to take care of him except for my grandfather. And I couldn’t just leave all these responsibilities to my elderly grandfather.”

When she ran away, she decided to head in a different direction from her grandfather, so as to not be found by Kaizen and his knights.

She couldn’t meet her grandfather after she ran away, hence she was worried about his well being.

She was eventually going to get caught, so Kaizen told him to stop being stubborn and inform him about her whereabouts, but her grandfather never answered.

Kaizen spit out with exclamation.

“Your grandfather said he would rather die from torture than tell me where you were. Even at that age, he sure still has a great spirit.”

“Did you find my grandfather? What did you do to him?”

As Astelle shouted in surprise, Kaizen replied with a puzzled look.

“Your grandfather is safe. I just asked for your whereabouts. Did you think I would just torture and kill an old war hero? Just like this?”

It didn’t seem to be a big problem after all.

Astelle was inwardly relieved.

“Where is my grandfather now?”

“He’s in Dents Castle. Don’t worry about it. I asked them to treat him with courtesy.”

Dents was on the way to the capital from here.

“While I was traveling towards the east, I found out about your whereabouts, and since you weren’t that far away from where I was. I thought it would be nice to come to see you in person.”

After finishing his explanation, Kaizen still looked curiously at Theor.

“If you don’t mind, can we talk alone?”

Kaizen glanced at the knight standing by the door.

As the unfamiliar knight approached, Theor was frightened and hid behind Astelle’s skirt.

Astelle took Theor’s hand and said, while looking into the child’s eyes.

“It’s all right. Please go to the room next door for a while.”

Then, she held the child’s little finger.

Astel practiced this ‘play’ like a game so that the child would not be nervous and scared.

Thanks to this, Theor had fun every time he practised.

Even now, Theor laughed with sparkling blue eyes as Astelle wrapped his finger and held it.

“Yes, Aunt Astelle.”

Astelle lightly stroked Theor’s soft black hair and kissed his forehead.

The knight took Theor and afterwards, the door was closed.

“Sit down.”

Kaizen pointed to the tea table by the window.

Astel pulled the table to the middle and sat facing him.

She didn’t know a day would come when she would sit face-to-face, with this man again.

After divorcing after only one day of marriage and leaving the Imperial Palace, Astelle had thought she would never meet Kazen again.

Even if they did meet again, she thought we would only see each other if she were to become a sinner and forced to kneel in front of him, or if she were to be dragged for execution along with her father.

Kaizen seemed to share similar sentiments.

He looked at Astelle with a serious look in his eyes and brought up the subject.

“I found you because of my late grandmother’s will.”

“The Grand Empress Dowager?”

Kaizen lost his mother when he was young and was raised by his grandmother, the Empress Dowager.

The old Empress Dowager was also kind and friendly to Astelle.

When Astelle left the Empress’ position, she was the one who mourned for her the most.

“I heard that she passed away. You must be extremely heartbroken.”

Even if she lived in the eastern countryside, she had still heard the news of the Empress Dowager’s death.

Astelle was devastated when she heard about it.

‘She was a good person.’

Kaizen continued without any sign of sadness.

“You know, my grandmother was heir to Duke Mileen, the Southern lord.”

Kaizen’s grandmother was originally a young heiress who inherited a large southern territory.

Kaizen’s grandfather, the late Emperor, wedded her as his queen, and as if he had robbed her, he took the entire southern territories for the imperial family.

The southern lands then belonged to the royal family, but as long as the Empress was alive, they were legally owned by the Empress.

Upon her death, the land would then become legally owned by the imperial family.

Even when Astelle left the palace, the Empress Dowager had to lie in her room for most of the day due to her poor health.

“At the occurrence of her death, the southern territories were to be given to the royal family. But after my grandmother passed away, her will came out, and there was a strange condition.”

“Condition?”

“I cannot disclose her will without your permission. That was the condition my grandmother had set.”

“…”

Why did she add such a condition?

Astelle could not say anything to the unexpected story.

“The old minister insisted that it was the Empress’ last wish, and he would never reveal it to the public. He said that he would never give it up, even when they forced him so they could take the land. The content in it was even more laughable. It stated that ‘Nothing can be decided about the southern territory without the consent of the former Empress Astelle von Reston.’”

“Why me…”

Kaizen gazed carefully at the bewildered Astelle.

Complex emotions were revealed in his eyes.

“My grandmother must have wanted me to find you and take care of you. She asked me to do that several times before her death. I guess she wanted to use her will to force me because I wouldn’t listen to her otherwise.”

“…”

Astelle understood what Empress Dowager thought.

The Empress probably thought that with such conditions, Kaizen would find Astelle and give her some territory on condition that he will obtain consent to the will.

And if that happened, it would help her pitiful grandson and her granddaughter-in-law, who she did not know the whereabouts of.

If she had written in her will that she was giving away her property directly to Astelle, Kaizen would have ignored it and said that Astelle could not be found, not letting her receive even a single penny.

The Empress Dowager came up with such an idea, but this only embarrassed Astelle.

These days, land did not matter to Astelle.

As long as the emperor’s child was raised in secret, she just had to avoid encountering this man and any other people within the capital as much as possible.

Of course, the Empress was completely unaware that Astelle hid a child, thus, she wrote such a will for Astelle.

“Is that why you were looking for me? Why didn’t you just forcibly get rid of that clause?”

The will was also forcibly opened without Astelle’s permission, because of this he was accused of trying to keep the inheritance for himself.

Kaizen responded with ridicule after hearing Astelle’s thorny words.

“There’s nothing I can’t do. Some bureaucrats and judges may oppose it because it’s against the inheritance law, but I can get rid of it. However, when I think about it, it would be simpler to bring you in and get your consent publicly.”

He wasn’t wrong.

He said it like that, but the Empress Dowager’s estate was a huge territory covering the entire South.

He might have wanted to clear up the inheritance issue so that it would not be a problem for future emperors.