that day I got the News of my maternal cousin's wedding. It has been so long since I attended any wedding. Because of my studies I always have to leave this kind of time consuming events either halfway or will just go to eat than come back.

I love going to these family events, i love dressing up. But my parents naver allowed me stay away from home or even going to these family event is like formality.

I can understand them, they want me to be independent. My father is lawyer and mother is a homemaker, I'm a middle child, my elder sis and younger brother both are worry free children. My parents were never worried about them as much as they worry about me.

I was born weak , my condition at the birth time was so serious that doctor believed I'll not survive. But my mother was a very persistent person. She brought me back from death. She never gave up on me.

But my body has always been frail, it never improved. A little rain is enough to make me sick for days, my mother never let me play in rain, because if I get wet in rain, my lips will turn blue, but I loved that colour, it feels like natural lipstick.

So, in childhood I'd hide from my mother and run away with all my neighbour's children to enjoy rain. My mother would always scold me. But I was a very naughty child, always doing opposite of what others ask of me.

So I suffered the consequences, i grow up with a weak constitution. I loved sports but it was not for me. I could not gather the strength to throw ball or kick it, when I participated in the badminton i reached state level but the players of my age were already looking like my senior, i looked like a child they were very friendly without realising I'm one of them, they even ask me that why am I so quite or if my teammates were bullying me .

It was so awkward for me, because I was in their team. Everyone was kind to me but I was not even a good player, I'll say it was a good experience that was the first time I went for from home, i travelled in a long distance train. I made new friends.

But that was also last time, next i couldn't participate in any activity other than study because my board exam were next. From then till is only time I'm free, i just passed my bar examination. Before starting my career as an advocate, this is the greatest time I can wholeheartedly attend a family marriage.

I have many dresses that I bought but never get the chance to wear. Now I can finally use them. My breslate, my earrings, and I'm already so old still I have never tried the lipstick.

I am very excited to experience this wedding festival 😁 don't mind me, I'm just too happy. Just thinking about all the drama and fun I'm getting excited. Mehndi, haldi, sangeet I'm ready to enjoy them to fullest.

Here I'm very excited without knowing that their are other things waiting for me or not?

I can't believe today is the day we are going to attend wedding. And their is one more surprise for me, the wedding is being organised at my future brother in law's ancestral home. I heard it's an ancient village.

I have always been curious about old places like this, i don't care if they are famous or not I just like them. But I never had the opportunity to visit , now I got this opportunity served on a silver platter, I'm feeling myself lucky.

But I heard in this ancient village network doesn't work, my mobile is going to be of no use, mumma advised me not to go, it's very far and I suffer from motion sickness. She even begged me to stay at home but I was so excited that I ignored all advise and as a screen addict person, i didn't even consider no screen time as obstacle.

I was sure I have to go there, at any cost, without worrying about anything I packed my bags to go to my uncle's house, uncle had booked a bus for the family, that is the bus we'll be taking to go there.

I met with my cousin's, my mother had four brothers, this was my third uncle's daughter who was getting married, she is of my elder sisters age , these big girls used to play with sister and younger ones with me, so I met with all of my best friends after a long time, we have been planning on how we are going to enjoy this wedding together. they showed me their dresses and jwellery, heels etc,

I realised that I indeed like to dress up but I don't even know know how to style my hair, what am I going to do than. But my friends promised me that they will help me. I don't need worry about this since they have prepared so many things. I can just use their make up.

They solved all of my problems without me asking them for anything. I'm so lucky to have so many kind people in my life. tomorrow is the day to go, I'm already tired but sleep is still far away, now that it's night time, I can't sleep, I'm very calm not excited, I'm feeling like something is going to happen and yes tomorrow morning I'll be on a long journey. New place, new people, or what can happen. I already know that is going to take place in the near future, than why is this calmness, and being calm is not a bad thing, then why I'm restless.

Oho, I'm just being dramatic, just thinking about visiting an ancient village, probably that's why I'm calm to point of scaring myself in night ☺️it must be it. Just my screen addiction is kicking in. I'm going to be very happy. I know everything is fine and future is bright 😎 good night everyone.

it's already 8 am, i overslept, i need to hurry. Let's get ready to start the journey. Bus was already standing outside the house till I come out, everyone has gathered together, the bus about to start 😀 so excited. I'll be sitting with my cousins, we are going to listen music and have fun during the journey. It has started.

Today weather is looking like it's going to rain 🌧️ but that's just a plus point, this cold air is so pleasant, i think today I can actually enjoy this long journey without getting motion sickness. I hope the weather will be like this the whole time.

We are enjoying since we can still use network, i downloaded all my favourite dance songs, wedding songs and mv's, but it looks like I'm going to suffer, we are not even halfway and I'm already starting to feel tired, i know the next step, I'm going to vomit the whole journey that's left, I have medicine for this but they just don't work on me , i have experienced this many times, that sweet taste of medicine even gives me more trouble than help, I'm already hating this rainy weather, I know it's not weather's problem, but I'm just upset with myself. 🥺

Why can't I enjoy anything without getting sick, I'm feeling terrible 😔 sometimes I even hope that God should just give me a hand, and take my life. I wish to die than suffer like this, if you were going to let me live, why didn't you give me a healthy body, and if I don't have a healthy body why did made me love the things that I can never enjoy. I hate it, i hate everything.

When you are suffering, you will only remember bad things, other than my bad health i don't really have any problem in my life, or probably that's already a big problem, and there is no room for other small problems 😉

Anyway I hope I just don't get sick after reaching their, and God bless me, i don't get my periods, although it's not the time of my month but it's an speciality, I'll get my periods when I am feeling extreme emotions, it doesn't matter what kind of emotions, every year my family will go to travel, and it's always a place with famous temples.

I'll always get my period, at the exact time of going, my mother even doubt if I am just not liked by god's. 😅 otherwise I'm fine other time but not when it comes to going to temple, although it happened mostly but I still believe I'm loved by god's, otherwise why will I always get extra care even from strangers, when I think about it, i have never met bad people, you can't say it's just because I have never been away from home or i have not met many people.

It's just because he (lord almighty) loves me , that's why he only sends good people in my life.

My wish is to die peacefully without any sickness, just beautifully when I'm looking my best, when I'm happy, when I'm near him(lord almighty)

It's indeed a strange wish, considering I'm only in my early thirty's, but I still wish for a death like that, i think death is something that is about to take place anytime, it's the eternal truth, so I'm always wishing for my final moment to be not very painful.