I Kidnapped Mr. Mafia
THE WRONG GROOM
[Wedding Hall – Lights Flicker, Chaos Everywhere]
Tara Desai [Fl]
(whispering to herself): Okay Tara… find the cheating dog… tie him… scare him… go home.
Tara Desai [Fl]
Easy. Simple. Totally sane.
Bridal Band: Dhol beats blasting
Tara Desai [Fl]
(muttering): Uff, why is everyone so tall? Where is that idiot groom—
Guest 1: Arre light gaya! Who touched the switchboard?!
Tara Desai [Fl]
(excited whisper): YES! Darkness! My moment to shine!
Tara grabs a silhouette wearing a sherwani.
Tara Desai [Fl]
(hissing): Don’t “hmm” me! You deserve this!
.....
Is this part of the ceremony?
Tara Desai [Fl]
Shut up and walk!
[Outside – Tara’s beat-up old van]
.....
Is this… my wedding getaway vehicle?
Tara Desai [Fl]
JUST GET IN!
.....
(steps in, sits calmly): Do you at least offer water bottles to your passengers?
Tara Desai [Fl]
PASSENGERS?! I’m KIDNAPPING YOU!
[Van starts shaking as Tara drives like a maniac]
.....
Would you like Google Maps?
Tara Desai [Fl]
STOP TALKING!
Tara Desai [Fl]
You ruined my cousin’s life, you selfish—
.....
I don’t recall dating anyone’s cousin.
Tara Desai [Fl]
Oh wow. Acting innocent?
Tara Desai [Fl]
Your name is Kabir Singh, right?
Tara Desai [Fl]
(slams brakes): WHAT?!
.....
(politely): My name is Riyan.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Riyan Varma.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Current groom of the wedding you just ruined.
Tara Desai [Fl]
OH. MY. GOD.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
(folds hands politely): By the way, thank you.
Tara Desai [Fl]
FOR WHAT?!
Riyan Varma [Ml]
For rescuing me.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
I really didn’t want to get married today.
Tara Desai [Fl]
BRO I WASN’T RESCUING YOU, I WAS—
Tara Desai [Fl]
I KIDNAPPED THE WRONG GROOM!
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Don't be sad.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
It happens.
Tara Desai [Fl]
NO IT DOESNT!
Riyan Varma [Ml]
(looks around van): Hmm. Not bad. Vintage charm.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
I like it.
Tara Desai [Fl]
STOP REVIEWING MY VAN LIKE IT’S OLA!
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Then stop driving like you stole me.
Tara Desai [Fl]
(screaming): BECAUSE I LITERALLY STOLE YOU!
Riyan Varma [Ml]
(smiles for real): Hmm.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
This is already more fun than my boring wedding.
Tara Desai [Fl]
I’m going to jail.
Tara Desai [Fl]
Straight jail.
Tara Desai [Fl]
Cell number 420.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Don’t worry.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
I won’t tell anyone…
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Kidnapper.
Tara Desai [Fl]
STOP CALLING ME THAT!
Riyan Varma [Ml]
But you are one.
Tara Desai [Fl]
I am DEAD. Finito. Finished.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
If it helps, you’re the cutest kidnapper I’ve ever met.
I am back with new story hope you like it.
“YOU ARE NOT HIM!”
[Inside Tara’s old van – Tara still panicking]
Tara Desai [Fl]
Okay… okay… breathe…
Tara Desai [Fl]
Think, Tara! Think!
Tara Desai [Fl]
How do you un-kidnap someone?!
Riyan Varma [Ml]
(calmly looking out the window): You can drop me at the next signal.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
I’ll find my way home.
Tara Desai [Fl]
(suspicious): So you can get me arrested?! No thanks!
Riyan Varma [Ml]
You think too highly of my schedule.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
I have no time to file FIRs.
Tara Desai [Fl]
ARE YOU REAL OR A MALFUNCTIONING ROBOT?!
Riyan Varma [Ml]
(soft chuckle): I’ve been called worse.
Tara Desai [Fl]
(turns to him dramatically): WHY didn’t you scream?
Tara Desai [Fl]
Or resist?
Tara Desai [Fl]
Or shout “HELP!”?
Riyan Varma [Ml]
You were very confident.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
It felt rude to interrupt.
Tara Desai [Fl]
INTERRUPT!?
Tara Desai [Fl]
I WAS KIDNAPPING YOU!
Riyan Varma [Ml]
You have talent.
Tara Desai [Fl]
I CAN’T TELL IF YOU’RE PRAISING ME OR MOCKING ME!!
Riyan Varma [Ml]
By the way…
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Why did you kidnap Kabir Sharma?
Tara Desai [Fl]
Because he’s a lying, cheating, trash can of a human—
Riyan Varma [Ml]
So you kidnap for justice.
Tara Desai [Fl]
I kidnap accidentally for justice!
Riyan Varma [Ml]
That’s new.
[Tara pulls the van to the side, shaking]
Tara Desai [Fl]
I didn’t touch you intentionally.
Tara Desai [Fl]
I don’t want mafia enemies.
Tara Desai [Fl]
Or bloodshed.
Tara Desai [Fl]
Or your angry bride hunting me down!
Riyan Varma [Ml]
(softly): She might.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
She hates losing.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
But don’t worry.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
I’ll handle her.
Tara Desai [Fl]
WHY are you so calm!?
Tara Desai [Fl]
A normal man would cry, scream, beg—
Riyan Varma [Ml]
(smiling): I’m not normal.
Tara Desai [Fl]
Why didn’t you just run when I dragged you out of the wedding?!
Riyan Varma [Ml]
I didn’t want to go back inside.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Let’s say…
Riyan Varma [Ml]
I wasn’t excited about marrying Samaira.
Tara Desai [Fl]
So I saved you?
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Without consent, but yes.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
You saved me.
Tara Desai [Fl]
STOP SAYING THAT LIKE I’M YOUR PERSONAL HERO!!
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Should I call you something else?
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Ms. Accidental Kidnapper?
Tara Desai [Fl]
I’m going to scream.
[Suddenly Riyan leans closer, his eyes serious for the first time]
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Don’t panic.
I’m not angry.
I’m not going to hurt you.
And I’m definitely not reporting you.
Tara Desai [Fl]
(small voice): …Why?
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Because if you didn’t kidnap me today…
Riyan Varma [Ml]
I would’ve had to kidnap myself to escape that wedding.
Tara Desai [Fl]
YOU— WHAT—
Tara Desai [Fl]
WHO SAYS SUCH THINGS?!
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Apparently.
Tara Desai [Fl]
(Dramatically bangs head on steering wheel):
My life is a circus.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
A very entertaining one.
Tara Desai [Fl]
STOP. COMPLIMENTING. MY KIDNAPPING.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Then stop doing it so impressively.
[Tara starts the van again, defeated]
“GROOM ESCAPE MISSION? NAH.”
[Inside Tara’s van – awkward silence]
Tara Desai [Fl]
(whispering to herself): Okay… okay… just return him…
Tara Desai [Fl]
Maybe he’ll forget my face?
Tara Desai [Fl]
Hopefully??
Riyan Varma [Ml]
(calmly watching her panic): You breathe like a pressure cooker.
Tara Desai [Fl]
WELL YOU SIT LIKE A STATUE!
Tara Desai [Fl]
WHO SITS THIS CALMLY AFTER BEING KIDNAPPED?!
Riyan Varma [Ml]
A man who wanted to escape.
Tara Desai [Fl]
Escape WHAT?
Riyan Varma [Ml]
My wedding.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
It was a political alliance marriage.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
No choice.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Just… pressure.
Tara Desai [Fl]
So… you didn’t want to marry that…
Tara Desai [Fl]
That very angry-looking bride??
Riyan Varma [Ml]
She looked angry because I didn’t smile in the photos.
Tara Desai [Fl]
You look like you’ve never smiled since birth.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Fair point.
Tara Desai [Fl]
So let me get this straight—
Tara Desai [Fl]
You were forced into marriage…
Tara Desai [Fl]
And I accidentally gave you an exit?
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Very heroic, actually.
Tara Desai [Fl]
STOP calling my CRIME heroic!!
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Very illegal, but efficient.
Tara Desai [Fl]
THIS IS NOT HELPING!!
[Riyan shifts, sitting more comfortably… LIKE HE OWNS THE VAN.]
Riyan Varma [Ml]
I should thank you properly.
Tara Desai [Fl]
I don’t want thanks!
I want freedom!
I want to go home!
I want to scrub my soul!
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Scrubbing won’t help.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
I’m in your van.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
You kidnapped me.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
This is permanent trauma.
Tara Desai [Fl]
(screams into her dupatta): WHYYYYYYYYY?!
Riyan Varma [Ml]
(calm but firm): You won’t go to jail.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Because I’m not reporting anything.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
And I’m not returning yet.
Tara Desai [Fl]
WHAT DO YOU MEAN “NOT RETURNING YET”?!
Tara Desai [Fl]
LEAVE MY VAN!
Tara Desai [Fl]
GO GET MARRIED!
Tara Desai [Fl]
WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO?!?!
Riyan Varma [Ml]
I won’t go back until the wedding guests leave and the drama dies down.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Maybe… a day.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Maybe… a week.
Tara Desai [Fl]
ARE YOU MY NEW ROOMMATE OR WHAT?!
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Possibly.
Tara Desai [Fl]
I WANT TO DIE.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
I’m not dangerous—
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Unless someone forces me to get married.
Tara Desai [Fl]
THAT IS THE MOST DANGEROUS THING I’VE EVER HEARD.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
You’re learning.
Tara Desai [Fl]
YOU’RE ENJOYING THIS, AREN’T YOU?!
Riyan Varma [Ml]
(tiny smile): A little.
Tara Desai [Fl]
Tell me… what do you want now?
Riyan Varma [Ml]
(raises eyebrow): An escape plan.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
With you.
[Tara drives off again, screaming quietly; Riyan sits peacefully like he booked the ride.]
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Shall we begin Operation Groom Escape?
Tara Desai [Fl]
No!!
No operations!!
No groom!!
No escape!!
I just want my old boring life back!
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Too late.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
You kidnapped destiny today.
Riyan Varma [Ml]
Now deal with it.
Author
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![Tara Desai [Fl]](https://up-pic.mangatoon.mobi/contribute/fiction/12942383/avatar/38209451/17823121580.jpeg-s200webp?sign=ddd483b228077587ebaee2d679154abf&t=6a49f9fc)
![Riyan Varma [Ml]](https://up-pic.mangatoon.mobi/contribute/fiction/12942383/avatar/38209451/17823121931.jpeg-s200webp?sign=01ec28cb538ce35e8eb82bbf1a42c2f7&t=6a49f9fc)
