This book was born from everything I never learned to say out loud,

From everything that I was scared to reveal to another soul.

From the poems written in the quiet hours of the night,

the lines that slipped out when my heart felt too heavy,

and the letters that were always meant for someone

but never found the courage to reach their hands.

These pages hold the versions of me that existed

between growing up and trying not to fall apart

the memories that still echo,

the almost-loves that stayed unfinished,

and the moments I swore I’d forget

but somehow kept carrying with me,

The memories of those that I used to love and admire.

There are no perfect endings here,

no polished stories with neat conclusions.

Just pieces of who I was and who I am,

little fragments of feeling

trying to make sense of a world that moved too fast and sometimes leave me behind.

I hope that somewhere in these words,

you find a reflection of your own quiet storms,

your own soft hopes.

Because maybe we’re all just learning

how to heal what didn’t go as planned

and how to hold on to the beauty

of everything that once felt real.

My dear Luar.

the one I loved in my own quiet, clumsy way.

The one I wrote for long before I knew how to say your name

without breaking a little inside.

The one that taught me how to Love and take care of myself.

If these pages reach you someday,

I hope you recognize yourself between the lines.

I hope you know you were the beginning of every poem,

and the ending I never quite learned to let go of.

*Spanish version*

Este libro nació de todo aquello que nunca aprendí a decir en voz alta, de todo lo que temía revelar a otra alma. De los poemas escritos en el silencio de la noche, de los versos que brotaron cuando mi corazón se sentía demasiado pesado, y de las cartas destinadas a alguien pero que nunca se atrevieron a llegar a sus manos.

Estas páginas guardan las versiones de mí que existieron entre el crecer y el intentar no desmoronarme, los recuerdos que aún resuenan, los amores inconclusos, y los momentos que juré olvidar pero que, de algún modo, seguí llevando conmigo; los recuerdos de aquellos a quienes amé y admiré.

Aquí no hay finales perfectos, ni historias pulidas con conclusiones ordenadas. Solo retazos de quién fui y quién soy, pequeños fragmentos de sentimientos que intentan dar sentido a un mundo que avanzaba demasiado rápido y que, a veces, me dejaba atrás.

Espero que, en algún lugar de estas palabras, encuentres un reflejo de tus propias tormentas silenciosas, de tus propias esperanzas más tiernas. Porque tal vez todos estemos aprendiendo a sanar lo que no salió según lo planeado y a aferrarnos a la belleza de todo aquello que alguna vez se sintió real.

aquí cada poema es originalmente mío, por favor no lo roben ya que nacieron en momentos importantes, y de noches donde las emociones se desbordaban sin control alguno

My dear Luar.

As I sit down to write this, my heart is heavy with a mix of emotions - love, longing, and acceptance. I've come to realize that my love for you is unwavering, but it's not enough to change the course of your life.

I love you with all my heart, I love you with all my soul, I need you so much, I need your hugs, caresses, kisses, but when I remember those moments we had together, those promises on those nights of love, they hurt like stakes digging into my heart.

I miss you more than words can express. Every moment we shared, every laugh, every tear, every whispered promise - they're all etched in my memory like a bittersweet melody. I need you in ways I never thought possible, but I also understand that need isn't always synonymous with having.

The truth is, in your world, you've found someone else. Someone who brings joy, comfort, and love into your life. And though it's hard for me to accept, I want you to know that I'm truly happy for you. I want you to be happy, even if that happiness doesn't include me.

My love for you hasn't diminished; it's just evolved. I love you enough to let you go, to wish you all the best, and to hope that you'll find everything your heart desires. I'll always cherish the memories we made, and though it's time for us to part ways, know that you'll forever hold a piece of my heart.

I know that when our eyes meet whenever we pass by each other, there is still something, something we both know is there, I know we both try to act like we don't exist, But the tension tries to trap us to get back together, I would like that to happen, but our worlds are different and that means that we don't belong with each other.

Sometimes I think about you and me, and what would happened if we didn't let go each other I think that we would be lovers if you didn't break your promise, and that hurts me, but I understand that we don't belong to be together, I love you so much a lot, more than you think, but I have to let you go for my own good, cuz I know you don't think of me anymore, I try to say, to think that it doesn't hurt me but that the biggest lie that I ever told.

I love you, and I'll never get tired of saying it, oh my Luar, I need your kisses, your hugs, I need you, I miss you, but I have to let you go.

And I just want to let you know that even though I still love you, and I still miss you, I wish you all the happiness with the person who is now by your side, that person who is now the owner of your caresses, kisses and promises, I hope that the love you have with her never goes out.

With all my love, Mayan

*fun fact! This poem was inspired by the rdr2 game, where this ladie (I don't remember her name) sends a letter to Arthur Morgan. Luar is someone whose name I'm not going to mention, but he was the love of my life, the person I once loved with all my soul, but our paths went different ways, and our hearts lost its way together*