it was just another waste of day,when I was laying in my bed thinking 'is this the life I wanted?'

everybody's busy doing their work, time is passing by,seasons are changing,yet I am still

the old stupid me.

I am tired,wanna pour out all my emotions I hid in my heart for years to somebody .But again I don't have 'that' somebody.

Why am I even thinking about sharing my sadness when half of world is suffering 100xtimes than me yet they smile just so that they can make the people they love happy.

My parents worked so hard in the past so that they can give their children good food,house,etc. basically, the things they haven't experience in their childhood.They gave me love and taught me to be a person who can bring smile,hope to many people

but I haven't done such a simple request..

when I will be standing on my own,I don't know how I will,the children who were poor but rich in heart will be successful and a person like me who did nothing despite the fact that my parents gave me everything will simply be a joke.

Hah...why am I even saying these, to me I have always been a loser,a mess.

I don't mind people calling me names cuz I know they are just stating the truth.Yesterday,

today and in the future I will not mind being a joke...a person no a Monster like me deserves it .

Once I was dust, in the end I will become dust again.I think I will finally find peace and the feeling i cant describe when I die.But I also want to lay on a place say,a beautiful and clean hill with flowers blooming everywhere. Where I can shout, run,with a simple gown pretty yet light enough to dance as much as I want and nobody will care. Sing my heart out even though I do not have a mesmerizing voice,the songs I want to sing with all my heart and soul without being scared that people will make fun of my singing.Yeah, I at least want to experience this once in a lifetime.

......................

It ain't a story about people falling in love,but rather a story I wanted to write.It feels good to let out your heart once a while,I have many things to share but I have nobody to share with.I am sure many people will drop this useless novel but even if nobody reads it I will at least feel good after letting out the things I always wanted to share.I know u you all will not like this but thank u for giving your time.

Thank u so much,for giving me your time even though I couldn't do anything special for you all and i am sorry...sorry for being an existence.My words aren't the best but I hope u can accept this apology from a monster with an empty heart. Thank you all once again.

You,yes you,you are beautiful.It's gonna rain soon here I will end this chapter soon,I know u find this story boring,don't worry just drop it.But remember to cherish yourself,its good to please people but don't try too hard where you start to lose your own-self