Hey, this Judith

17 year old girl

This is a story about the first year of my

relationship with the boy I love.

He was in class. His name is Ronan

I used to call him Ronnie

He is around 5'6". Compared to me he's a genius, tall and is still the most handsome guy I've ever seen .

Every time I talk to him. All of my troubles just seemed to disappeared , and I can just be myself, and became so much happy .

His smile was something never taken for granted.

He rarely showed it around people, but when he did, oh it was magical moment for me.

The slight dimple in his cheek when he smile at me.When he smile like a little kid.

He always sleep on the class time and I've to completed his notes for his sake.

When he waved hi to me ,all of my worries seems to gone.

It starts back in summer 2017. He was dating my best friend at the time,

While they were dating I had only seen him one time, I didn't really talk to much to him cause I am very shy and awkward person.

I think I managed to get a few hellos out

And that's it nothing more than that.

He usually talk to me about her girlfriend because she's my best friend

Than we became friends

They were in a relationship for a few weeks and it ended on bad terms.

We hung out once a week, usually in a group of 9 people. In our group there are 4 girls and 5 boys

"It was a rainy day

He called me

He wants to meet me

Judith :- Hey ronny

(He's sounds like something happened)

Judith :- What's wrong

Ronnie :- Hy judith can u pls come

I'm feeling so bad......

Judith :- Okay I'll come"

That day I was really anxious

Couldn't stop shaking,

He wanted me to come, he's feeling low

He wants someone whom he can talk with

I wasn't sure if I should go.

And it was my first time usually we hang in group

But he needs me so I decided to go

I went, it was quite muddy on that day.

We met at the park, where we all usually hang out.

Thankfully he did most of the talking on that day. A whole day he only talks about his ex that how she cheated on him It was the first time I had ever spent time with guy I like by myself

He always comes to me when he about to cry

I always make him laugh

I know every day what is actually going on in his mind

He always hug me lean on my shoulder to cry

I was convinced that I can't like him due to being my best friends ex.

I held his hand for the very first time when he was with me in haunted house

Second time he held my when I'm bout to cross the road .It was awesome feeling ever

He hugged me for the first time when he about to cry. At that time he cried and lean on my shoulder.

I wasn't too sure why I felt so much towards him.

He comes to pick me up for school everyday

We started to hang out more, We do our homework together , We go to classes together we always stick around with each other I started to feel so much towards him and started to spent more time with him.

There are 9 people in our friends group, But I can't explain why I felt like for him that much , like I could connect with him in a way that I couldn't feel with the other people. Usually I hate it when people hug me, but when He did it always felt warm and comforting.it's like butterfly feeling on my stomach.

At the the time passes by , I feel so bad that he's onto some other girls and I never been in any kind of relation with other guys because of him

Cause all I want just more than friends

There's a boy named John he likes me and he confess his love to me but i rejected him but still he said that he'll wait for me . Than I decided to a step further to a built a relationship, I wanted to more about John. And this time I decided for sure

Thn I decided to meet him

It turns out that he actually a nice guy

I had so much fun with him

After coming back he suddenly asked me out this time he was serious

In front of my friends and ronnie was also there And I seriously looked at him I was waiting but Ronnie turned his back and keep busy in talking with another girl I felt so bad that he's not even looking at me . And I said yes thn we started to date,

I feel that after dating him maybe I forgot about my love for Ronnie but it doesn't seem to work and on the other side john was so good to me he was so gentle, we started to hang out with each other whenever I saw Ronnie i ignored him

but this time he grab my hand and started talking to me,

Ronnie :- hy it's been a while since we hangout with each other, let's take a walk

He started to talk bad things about john that he's not a good guy, he always comes to me about his problem but this time it was different feeling

He actually started shit about my boyfriend

I don't know why he doing this to me but I yelled at him and told him shut up .

As time passes by I spend much time with john

He listens to me, he always joking around

Always make sure that I'm happy and Suddenly I realised that I was doing the same things with Ronnie but he never understand my Intention

At the same time I'm making sure to keep distance from Ronnie.It hurts but this is the only option for me.

But he's doing his best to broke my relation with john, we started to fight I yelled at him for the very first time and told him to stay away, but he's doing his best , he always talks about john that , he's not good for you, why do you like him so much, what do you see in him.

Enough is Enough I shouted at him

He hugs me in front of my boyfriend

I pushed him back and told him to stay away

I'm not your girlfriend so please next time make sure you pretend not to see me it's not good for us, I was broken inside, I was crying whole day

John see me crying and sit next to me

Are you still in love with him he asked

I was shocked, how did you know

I know very well, I knew from the very first day

you wanted to end your love for him that's why you are going out with me, I loved you and I saw love in your eyes for another man, for that silly guy, I started crying out loud. He told me it's not ur fault.

Judith :- I like you,

(he was my first boyfriend)

John :- I love u , but you love him

(we ended up crying together)

Now we are not together anymore but we are still friends

Time passed

We were hurt and broken

But we pretend like nothing had happened

Now John is with the another girl.

It took really long and nerve wrecking days. But we agreed ,ronnie and I decided to meet up by ourselves and talk about it.

We met at the park we usually hang out in. I couldn't start a conversation for shit, We still wanted to take it slowly, and we did. It took a few weeks for to talk to him but then he held my hand and asked you love me I told him yes I do

I asked him back what about you he said you are the only girl I ever liked you are my Everything

I'm afraid to loose you that if I asked you out, if I tell you about my feelings how would u react

I was so shocked to heard his confession to me

I realised that for the very long time he was suffering just like me

thn we started to date it took few weeks for me to be comfortable with kissing him. The first time I kissed him was up on the hill. The one we usually go to to talk about things. That's also something I will never forget, my first kiss.