So let's say i'm ms. fire,just a teenager.I'm an introvert and i have this feeling that i can't explain.It's really annoying.I'm annoyed when they ask to repeat my words.And of course this stupid people and people trying to get attention.And the worst and the best thing is,i have this tangled stories and personalities of mine.I spend of my highschool yrs. acting the person they want,they need,and that's why i became one of this stupid people.I just doing mental laugh when i doing an act/lie coz they freaking believing it!!!Hahaha,it's so funny when i know the truth.I don't know why i turned into this kind of person.I care about other people's judgement.I really hate that part of me.For real,when i walked in a crowd,it's like everybody' is looking at me.And the other part of me is saying that "No,just act normal.They don't know you.Calm down.Calm down.I SAID CALM DOWN!!!"It's really embarrassing!And when i'm angry,i can't...i..my tears keep falling down cause the anger i felt everytime,i try to control it.I really hate crying in front of anyone,it's like...i'm weak.And i have this cold personality thats why.And when i cry for the stupidest things,the real reasons have been builted up for too long.When i'm joking,they kinda don't know i'm joking coz i'm such a...pokerface. '-' When they ask me "You're really not mad?Wews." I said,"It's okay."When my other me saying, "Do you really ask me if i'm mad?If you were me,probably you're mad,right?It's just a tradition to say it's okay when you're really fucking NOT!"

So i now 3rd yr high school.Before,i have this freaking fringe hanging,covering my upper half face.My teacher ask me if i'm emo.And i said to my seatmate,"What's emo?"Then i search it and know the meaning."I'M NOT A FUCKING EMO!!!YOU STUPID!!!"Of course i didn't say that to my teacher.Hahaha.

Second grading came.Hmm.I...i kinda look fat.I said to myself.Why did i do to turn into like this?Sigh.Okay,nevermind this.I'm kinda emotional this school yr.I really dont have close classmate friend to talk to.So there's this day came that,like i said earlier that i have this annoying feeling that i can't understand.I feel mix emotions of depressed.That time,i felt no emotion,it's like full of negative feelings.Even when i'm with my friends (other section) hanging out w/ our family,i really feel like that.And theres this thought that always come to my mind,"what if i die?I really want to die."You can't control it even when you're trying to be positive.It's like a call of the void.But i find a solution."Let me try to talk to other humans like me."

Third grading.So now i have this chatmate in class.We really talked a lot nonsense everytime.Haha.But i started to notice a thing."Where did my imagination go?"I wanted to draw but i don't know what.Then i started to think that,"maybe i lost my freetime alone talking to them instead of overthinking."I don't know if that's a good thing or not.

(Forgive my bad english grammars.I just want to share my feelings now.Coz i have no one,haha.)