February 13, 2021

My name us Jewel.I'm just a little kid who hates crowd.I am so shy when I face a person that I'm not close with.And it pressures me if there is even a single person with me(not close with).

My way of breathing changes when I see a lot of people.Even my parents doesn't know that.I am a good secret keeper .Exactly the opposite to my sister.

I have 3 siblings. We are four in total.Two boys, and two girls including me.Do you know how old I am?Well I can tell you.But not now.You know what? I really don't know how to write a story.Even a mere diary.But I can't think of any more to how I can express my feelings.I am such a weird creature.I don't express my feelings to anyone.I hide it like crazy.Time comes that I really wanted to cry, but I'm poor.My house is tiny so I can't cry because they might hear me crying.I don't know.I just don't want to talk to anybody.I want a quiet atmosphere.And I hate it when someone asks me what happened if I act weird.

I tried to express my feelings with singing and write lyrics but, it just didn't go right. I just feel like something is really wrong with either me or this world. I feel terrible inside.But I look fine on the outside tho. I'm not able to express those feelings even now. I know I'm still a kid and is yet to experience more judgements and discouragement from other people.But I just can't take it.My sister is always teasing me.It hurts when she says something bad about me.Like I smell bad, I look ugly, I am a nerd, and something like that. They don't realize how it hurts to me. And what's even more sad, is, she has the same crush as me. It happened many times. So I gave up on him and made a way for the two of them. She doesn't even know about it. I can feel weird things when they are together. It doesn't feel right. But my dad said that, "True Love Waits" and I believe that.