I fall… my limp body succumbs to the gravity and caries me into the pitch darkness of my soul. I have literally fallen from his grace. The maid removes the plate of untouched julienne cut veal steak, from my placemat, while my father glares at me with indescribable disappointment. It was really a warhole those 15 minutes of fame one gets once in a lifetime. This morning my own father has asked me to have lunch with him. I was beyond contented and beamed with joy the whole morning, ditching even Mr. Whiskers, the nano robot I have as an assistant in my lab. He’s my most loyal friend, well, obviously he doesn’t have much of a choice of friends here.

I was ecstatic, that until I found out why my father had invited me over. The world came crashing down on me and everything I did in my whole life, now seemed ridiculous.

Opsss… do I already sound like a drama queen? Well I really am sometimes, but you see, nobody actually knows my drama. My real drama. I was the outcast of the family, my father had been forced into an arranged marriage back in his youth. His family rudely separated him from his first love. She wasn’t of status and his parents never approved their love, while Mom was… ah… I am going to tell you her story another time. The nanny told me that Mom wasn’t qualified to bare children, but the desire of making my father happy, the wish of giving him a single reason to spend another night with her and not his mistress, prevailed all doctor’s advices and she soon fell pregnant with me. Only that my bringing into this world meant her departure. Her final departure. For once I think she had succeeded in making my father happy.

Only three short months after her death, he married his mistress, his first love Janice and she became my step mother, the only mother I would ever have. In my early days, she did her best to shove me into a corner and let me soak in my own faeces, that until I came of age to be sent to a boarding school, a far, far away boarding school, all the way up to North Wales in England. I was separated from my family while my younger sister benefited of all the love and care of our parents.

I have tried my best to be a good girl, to please them and study well, thinking that maybe through my merits one day they will bring me back home. Well that day never came, but my strive for making father happy never ended. Although I was the spitting image of my father, I have inherited my Mom’s character and strong will, to please and make happy the only man in our lives, that never cared.

My relationship with my sister wasn’t far from my relationship with my step mother either, she bluntly heated me. She hated my face, my body, my wits, my noble roots. And I hated her, because she had all I ever wanted, my father’s and mother’s love, while she took it for granted. She grew up to become a complete waste of oxygen. She never grew over her jealousy of me and she would often inflict harmful substances in her body to get the attention, although I never doubted, that she always has had all the attention that ever existed.

While I, on the other hand did everything I could and couldn’t to get in their good graces. I studied my whole life and Hell I studied well. After you couldn’t keep one anymore in board school, I have returned to the US, well I was an adult already and could afford my own plane ticket. I didn’t go home though, my step mother made it clear that I wasn’t welcomed. I went to med school instead. My perfect grades from a renowned private school in England shoot me al the way to the top university in the country, here in Boston, where I have settled since.

Ish… I do tend to blabber a lot. Let’s go back to lunch… the lunch I didn’t eat with my father. He came all the way to Boston, with a ‘friend’ in tow, to marry me off. Can you believe that? Oh well I can… I can not!!! Because of all people he should know the best, what it’s like to be married against your will. Hell if this late 30’s dude was handsome af with a good charisma and if he was even a little bit funny, I would plunge head first into this marriage. But… he was the exact opposite and my blunt refusal made him cry… like literally effin* cry and on top of that, he unexpectedly ran out of the hotel room.

The look in my father’s eyes hurt, but not as much as his thought of still punishing me for the decision of his parents. Was it really my fault? I didn’t even exist back then, but I existed now and I was the perfect punching bag.

My heart sank so deep that I couldn’t hear it beating anymore.

“Bonnie… You have really did it this time, I hope you are pleased with yourself!” My father said, while lifting his napkin from his lap and throwing it in his plate. He stood up and left as well. Leaving me there with a broken heart. How many times has my heart been broken by him and how many times I still hoped for a little bit of love, a tad of approval that I was a good girl and that I did well. No, I didn’t get that. Lucy, my step sister received it all. She was the light of his eyes, while I was the darkness of his past.

Somehow, I find the force in me to stand up and scramble my way out as well. As soon as I step outside, the bright light of May and the last few cold winds of winter, made me pale instantly. Due to the bright sunshine, my nose started to be sore and tears started falling down my face, well I liked to think it was the sun, when in fact it had always been my heart.

Some pedestrians started glaring at me, so I pick up the pace faster and faster, until I end up running. In which direction and for what reason I still don’t know even today, but that hasty run, later had led me to him.

With each step I was taking I could feel my heart falling deeper and deeper into darkness. With one hand, I was holding tight against my chest, my Burberry trench coat, while the long fingers of the other one, were tightly wrapped on the handle of my Coach handbag. Despite my bad day, a slight drizzle started falling from the sky, making the ground completely slippery and my 5in Jimmy Choo’s, were definitely not made for running, as in the next second, my heel slipped and I find my self falling… literally falling this time. My butt hit in full force the concrete pavement, while my sunglasses, that were meticulously covering the tears on my face, have swung a few feet away ahead of me.

I sit there in a daze, trying to understand what the Hell had just happened with the poised, young, successful lady that I know, when a shadow casted over me. I look up at this female figure, with full red lips, dark sparkly eye shadow, curled the soul out of her hair and with boobs… god damn those boobs made even myself salivate. I stare way longer than it’s legal at her chest, while ‘red lips’ over here, hands over my scratched as Hell, pair of shades.

“Are you alright there?” She asks me, while I am instantly drawn to the movement of her full lips. Am I turning gay?… Hell!! I quickly need a dose of a hot, af man, right about now.

“Uhmm… I think I hurt my ankle!’ I pull a pouty face and squeeze out a whiny voice. What the Hell is wrong with me!! I try to get my a** up, but fall again and shoot this, time I think I’ve really hurt my ankle. Red lips bends down and helps me get up from the cold ground and I just noticed the tiny, little, red leather fabric, that covers her crotch area. Damn! Is that skirt even legal? Is it even a skirt or is it her underwear? Her long legs seemed to have literally sprouted from underneath and her glittery heels are to die for, that’s if you are into Elsa meets hooker on daylight broadway.

“I have a meeting in this restaurant, but not for another 20 minutes, you can come in with me and have a rest and a glass of water, if you wish!” And then, there it is. I see the clear sparkle in her eyes, yes she might be a hooker, but her heart is kind. I look around at the sheep like crowd moving around us and reality hits me. It doesn’t matter where you went to school, or how much money you have in your bank account. It doesn’t matter if you work a fine a** job from 9 to 5, or if you do the dirty work from 9 to 5am. If you don’t own a heart, you are nothing and this woman before me, despite our differences, she stopped to help me. She stopped to offer her hand to this snob, wearing designer from head to toe and offered her, the snob, a glass of water. Maybe that’s all that she can afford and maybe that it’s all I need as well.

“Thank you!” I say politely with a genuine smile on my face and for once, I look into her brown eyes and don’t stare at the sexiest parts of her body. We both make our way into this fine dining place and the hostess leads us to the table reserved in her name. She helps me sit in a chair and then she sets her dollar store bag on the table, while I put mine on the back of my chair. Well, education taught me that a lady should never put her bag on the table, but I suddenly realise she hadn’t had the opportunities I had and I start to feel guilty. I feel guilty for whining when obviously others have it worse.

“I’ll be right back, I am going to get a pack of ice and a glass of water for you!” She says and my heart fills up with warmth. A complete stranger has shown me more kindness than my own father ever did. I nod and she disappears from my line of sight. I sit there in silence, my tears have long dried and my day had just turned for the better.

A few minutes later, the girl returns with the ice and water and sets them on the table. I take a long gulp of water and then reach for the pack of ice, to set it on my leg. Her phone started buzzing wildly in her purse. She shovels through the contents of her bag and pulls out a dated mobile phone. Her eyebrows furrow instantly at the screen and she answers without missing a beat. As soon as the call connected, the person at the other end, went on for a rampage. I see her pupils constrict to the smallest grade possible and I try to put the louder words together to understand what is going on, so I come up with… your mother… medical insurance…street… and that it’s all I need.

She didn’t manage to say a word and her eyes already became watery. She eventually started pleading them not to evacuate her mother in the street, until she gets there. The girl quickly pulls her bag and her coat and rushes out.

“Wait!”