“I’M GONNA BE THE GREATEST MAN TO EVER LIVE”

Johnny exclaimed as he finished his fifth push-up of the day. He is weak, so weak in fact that just 2 days prior he was beaten half to death by a 10-year-old girl when he tried to steal her strawberry lollipop. This didn’t stop him though, he vowed from that day on that he would never get beaten up again.

“Let’s see.. 100? No 1000 girls in my harem! It’s only right that the greatest man alive has at least 1000 girls in his harem!” On top of being weak and a little stupid, Johnny was also pretty perverted.

“Next up are squats! OOOOONEE... Ughh... TWOOOO... Arghhhhh. THHHRrrr... eee...

Man, I’m beat... I guess I’ll have to resume this next week... Ughh Maybe that’s a little too early, next month? Yeah, that sounds better.. I can’t slack off if I’m going to be the strongest man in the world, but TWICE in thirty days, COME ON! Who in their right mind would do that?"

As if to stop Johnny from spouting any more of his numbing stupidity, a violent breeze kicked him to the floor.

"Ouch... What the hell was that?!"

“Hey you, stupid boy.” Said something from above.

Johnny’s ears perked up “Huh? Did I just hear something?”

“Yes, I’m talking to you. Why don’t you look up.”

Confused, Johnny lifted his head.

“OOOHhh my so sexy... wait. WHAT THE FU-” A towel shoots from across the living room straight into Johnny’s mouth. “AARUHGHHHHGH!!!”

“Hehehe you sound like a pig in distress.” Says the miniature figure from above, patiently waiting for Johnny to stop his incessant moaning.

Several minutes pass until she finally breaks “Ok ok now SHUT UP!” Petrified in the purest form of fear, Johnny can only stare at the terrifyingly cute little angel floating pleasantly above him.

“I have something important to discuss with you. I’ll need your full attention for the next couple of minutes, can you do that for me?” She says with a hint of annoyance.

Dumbstruck, Johnny slowly moves his head up and down.

“Okay good... My name’s Ava and I’m an angel sent down to you by the all-powerful god Cosmos. I’ve been tasked with helping you achieve cosmic transcendence to one day take his place as the ultimate god. So I guess from now on you can consider me your personal servant in all matters of life!"

...

"Any questions...?”

BAM!

“Why are you doing that?”

BAM!

BAM!

BAM!

“STOP HITTING YOUR HEAD AGAINST THE WALL!!”

Johnny “AH! That’s it. Must’ve been the workout... I knew I pushed myself too hard. Who would’ve thought I’d be seeing fairies! And there’s such detail as well.”

Johnny reaches out to grab one of the fairy's bright white wings.

“NGHH!! SHTOP!!” She squirms around like an adorable puppy, her cheeks a bright red.

“Hue hue hue sho cuute.. But...

oh my god. THIS... IS REAL.”