I loved you so much.. Wasn't it enough to make you stay..How can you do this why...Was I the only one who loved you..

Didn't you say you'll love me with all your heart didn't you say I was your everything didn't you say you'll always stay with me.

So what was it that I did wrong? Please tell me please how can you leave me when you promised me so many things..

So it was always like that huh..

No matter what I can never win against her

If I say don't go to her will you listen to me.

Can't you see how painful it is for me when you say you can't love me anymore..And here I thought you are the one..Say can't you hear me can't you see me...Hey why are you ignoring me ... please say something say something..

I beg you it's suffocating please take me away from here... Let's run away can we...

please talk to me why are you so silent...

Hey will it be okay if I die, will you come back to me when I die,will you regret leaving me..

Say how can I make you love me again..

Say how can I hate you...

Say will I be able to fall in love again

So it's time to forget you right and move on right... isn't it...

Hmm hmm~do you remember the song I sang for you how glad I was when you said I love you too... isn't it delicate..

Sometimes I think if i appear in your dreams..

Was I a nuisance to you that you left me...

Did I became a bother in your life...

Will I be embraced by those warm hugs..will I be able to receive those gentle kisses again..

Will I be able to spend days with you again when the seasons change...will I be able to see the first snow with you again...

Ahh I forgot now I'm not the one who's going to be by your side...I guess I loved you too much.. I'm sorry I wasn't born as a girl.. I'm sorry I can't give birth to your child... I'm sorry I won't be accepted by your family... I'm sorry that I can't satisfy you... I'm sorry I can't give you a family... I'm sorry for coming in your life..

I'm sorry for everything...

Hope in my next birth I'll be able to be the one for you...Hope you will love me as I did..

Hope my first love loved me back..

Hope we can stay together happily..

I am scared... I'm scared please help me... someone please help me...I don't know why I think I can't live without you...As a goodbye let me say it one more time...

I love you!

"Ahh it's warm and something smells sweet,,,what is it....Is it the same dream again...". I always wake up in the morning with a dream that always feel so realistic,,,a big beach with a blue ocean,,,and the warm sun..

And a voice calling out my name "Kaya....Kaya wake up Kaya,,,you have been sleeping till dawn.... aren't you going to wake up honey?💕"

Ahhh senpai,,,what time is it,,,sorry I felt asleep,,,,did you eat something,,,, shall I prepare lunch?....Senpai are you listening?

"Sorry Kaya but something important came up,so I have to leave but I'll be back before dinner so make sure to eat something and I already ate"

Senpai what is it?,,,,,you have been staring at your phone for a while....

"It's nothing,,,, it's just an important work from office,,,, don't worry and if you feel tired sleep more okay!,,,, I gotta go....Bye"

Senpaii........

You didn't even give a goodbye kiss to me....

well it can't be helped,,,,senpai went to work,,,so let's fresh up and do some work too...

I, Kaya is a 25 years old manga artist, I'm currently living with my lover Akihiro Ikumi who was a senpai of mine in high school,,,At the day of their graduation, I confessed my feelings to senpai,,, I didn't thought that he'll like me back but if he didn't,,, I would have lived miserably,,,,well senpai is 2 years older than me,,,he is an amazing person I ever met,,He is handsome, kind, careful, loving and clumsy,,,not to mention about that beautiful body of his.....I thought it was a dream that I'm dating senpai but at the same time I didn't wanted to wake up from that dream.....

Senpai told me that he loves me a lot than I think and that he'll always be there by my side,,,which made my heart at comfort,,,,and also those nights,,,aghhhhhh what I'm thinking about,,,,,if I don't complete this chapter I'll be in huge trouble,,,after completing this,,, I have to go to the supermarket to buy some groceries for dinner,,,, shall I ask what senpai will have for dinner.....

Let's give him a call.....

Weird why senpai is not picking up his phone,,,,ahh he must be busy in a meeting...

Okhay then let's do our work.....

Hmmm what it's already 9 I didn't even cooked dinner,,,,,what if senpai is on his way back to home,,,,, let's call....

Ahhh,,,, hello senpai....amm who is it?

Isn't it Akihiro senpai's phone?

"Ahhh kaya,,,,see I'm busy at the moment,,,,so I'll call you later"

Senpai....who was that woman?

Morning came and senpai still didn't came home yesterday......Ahhhh.... I miss him and his warm embrace.....and who was that woman yesterday on senpai's phone?

He told me that he is busy.... I think I should wait a little bit more....