When a bull comes runnin' towards you, you are supposed to jump right outta the way and avoid it like the plague. The last thing you need in your belly before dinner time is a horn. Gauging you out relentlessly. A terrible way to die.

"What do you think you're doin'?!" I drop my barrels and run to the fence.

My best friend since before I could even walk, Gaven Draper, otherwise known as, Oukonunaka, is who I'm talkin' too. Gaven is his Christian name. Everybody calls him by it since his real name is too hard for most to pronounce. It ain't hard when you put your mind to it, more bothersome than anything.

He turns his head in my direction. "Hey, Gracie Belle!" he flashes a big white smile at me. All innocent as if he isn't seconds away from bein' disembowelled. "How's your morning?"

"Don't, say 'hey'!" I scold. "Get outta there, you idiot!" I go under the beam and stand far away.

He makes loud hooting sounds before hoppin' just outta the way. The bull is still runnin', but his eyes are on me now since he ain't gotta turn to take me down.

I yelp and turn on my heel to climb back over the fence. Halfway there before I swear I can feel the hot breath of the monster on my back.

"Gracie!" I'm tackled from behind and Gaven and I both hit the ground hard as all hell.

With him laughing in my ear hysterically, I slap at his arms until he lets me go. That way I can get to my feet and kick him as hard as I can.

"What is wrong with you, boy?" I huff and pout at his carelessness.

Slapping the ground and shakin' his head like a wild animal, his eyes meet mine.

"Gracie," he stands and darts to pick up my barrel, coming back to put it right back in my hand. "It was not my fault this time. I promise." the first thing that catches my eye are his own. That strange blue.

I smile, not able to be mad at him for long. "You are an animal, Gaven Draper. Doesn't your mama always tell you not to bother these bulls?" I go to the bull, fuming with his eyes on my friend. He bucks a bit when I reach to touch him, but he settles down and nuzzles my palm. "These poor things don't want to be messed with."

"All I want is to get them to like me as much as they like you." he admits, rubbin' his neck with his free hand.

"Is it not enough that I like you?" I kiss the bull and snatch away my barrel. "And your mama likes you? And your daddy and your sister. Your whole tribe likes you, even the Lil' Ol' babies." I remind him of how important he is all the time. It don't ever seem to stick though.

He laughs under his breath. "If you like me, I don't need anybody else to." he stops and pulls on my braid. "But, you gotta admit. That was kinda fun."

I roll my eyes and take my hair back. "No, it wasn't." I wave a finger at him. He lifts a brow at me in response and starts to poke at my sides. "Stop it." I laugh. "Seriously..." he doesn't quit it. "Gaven Draper!" I step on his foot and take off a little bit up the road. And then I stop "Okay, it was funny! But, stop doin' it."

Grinnin', he runs to catch up with me.

We walk another mile, talkin' and pointin' out little things as we go. His company always nice to have, especially when I am on my way to my home. I don't very much like bein' here so I stay away or spend as much time with someone other than my family members as much as I can.

Here, I live with my mama, my Nana, my little sisters, and my stepdaddy.

Mama is kind. She has a good heart and always tries to do right by us. But, when daddy died she kinda...fell off. She focuses on the cows on our farm and the other animals. Keepin' 'em fed and happy best she can like they were all her children.

Nana is my daddy's mama and is almost in her sixties. And sometimes I don't know what to do with her. She's a coot and always hoppin' around, reminiscin' about her hippie days and makin' yogurt to sell at the local markets.

My younger sisters, Charlie and Carlie, they are demons. Always stealin' hay to make beds for baby animals up on the high level in the barn. Causing mischief wherever they go. They have a different daddy than mine. They're little seven-year-old twins, yellow-haired, like my mama.

Their daddy, my step-daddy, is the worst. I try not to think about him when I don't have to.

"Gracie, hurry up with that barrel, girl!" speak of the devil. Earle stands on the patio of the house with a hand shieldin' his eyes. "Somebody in the house to see you!"

I stop in my tracks.

Gaven steps a bit behind the bush. "Hey," if Earle had seen him already, he would've said somethin'. "Do you have any visitors comin' to see you today?"

I shake my head. "Not that I know of."

"This doesn't feel right." he stares at me. The light catchin' the white stripe in his black hair. "Come home with me, my dads been dyin' to see you again," he assures me. Urges me.

Again, I refuse. "No, he's already seen me. I gotta go now or I'll get in trouble." I stretch his cheek out. Enjoyin' the looseness of his skin since I was little. "If I can get on the phone tonight, I'll call you. Promise."

He pulls my braid and rests a kiss on my temple. "Don't forget." then he waves me off. Makin' sure to stay behind the bush until me and Earle go inside the house.

Whenever Earle sees Gaven on the property these days, he gets mad. Thinks that Gaven could influence me to do somethin' bad. He never explains to me what those bad things could be. All he keeps sayin' is natives are trouble and I need to stay focused on helpin' him take care of the family. I'm too old to be playin' with my friend.

"Who's this guest?" I put my barrel down and wipe my hands off on my skirt. I didn't even realise how dirty I was until I did that.

Next thing I realise, before my question is answered with words, I see who it is. Leo Marshall. This man was a farmhand for my daddy back when he was alive. Eight years ago was the last time I saw him. Or, rather, talked to him. Every so often, I see him in town. He just happens to show up where I am sometimes and I make sure to at least wave. He worked for daddy, but I'm not all that familiar with him. Only maybe a month before daddy died did he stay here. After that, Mama couldn't afford to keep him around, and his daddy died too, so he just left.

"Remember me, Gracie Belle?" he takes my hand and kisses the back of it. "Rare for a farm girl to have soft hands like this."

Mama walks in with a plate of cookies. "She mostly takes care of the babies and the heifas." she tells him. "Girl's got soft skin and a gentle soul."

This whole scene stands to confuse me. Earle is actin' all nice and proper. Mama is servin' up desserts rather than attendin' to the chickens outside like she always does at this time of day. Even Nana is sittin' in the corner all quiet like as if she knows somethin'. Her thin lips remain pinched.

Leo Marshall is dressed up nice. Wearing clothes like you would to church. His reddish blonde hair is combed over and his beard is trimmed. His slacks are pale and his button down is baby green. The look in his warm brown eyes gives me mixed feelings.

"Is everything alright here?" I ask when the adults stop talkin' and sorta just stand around lookin' awkward.

Mama comes to me and puts her hand on mine. "Gracie, dearest," she refers to me the way daddy did whenever she wants me to be calm or relaxed. It makes me feel anything but right now. "Mr Marshall here wants your hand." she keeps her blue eyes on me. "In marriage."

My heart pounds. "What? What did you say?"

Marshall reaches in his pocket and goes to kneel in front of me. "Gracie Belle Everett, will you marry me?"

"N..." I start to refuse, but I'm stopped.

Nana hops up. "Hold on, lemme speak to my grandbaby." she smiles and reaches with both hands for me. "Y'all cain't just come in here and drop this on her. I'm gonna get her some fresh air." she guides me away. "We'll be right back."

Takin' me to the back, we go out the door and the first thing I notice are my sisters.

Watchin' from afar from the chair swing in one of the barren olive trees. They know what's up and didn't even bother to meet and warn me before I came back.

If I had known what I was walkin' into, I would've taken Gaven up on his offer and went to see his family.

"Nana, what's goin' on?" I didn't realise I was tremblin' until she sits me down on a wood workin' table. "Do I have to marry him? I'm... I'm sixteen..." my fingers fiddle with my locket.

She shushes me and gives me a cup of water. "Dearest, this... This farm is goin' under. Fast." she admits. "It's been hard on your mama and Earle."

"What?" I haven't heard anything about this. We ain't ever been rich, but we ain't poor. Or so I thought...

She pinches her lips again. "Leo Marshall is a police officer in town. He has a little olive farm and an okay livin'." she explains to me. "He came to Earle and your mama and agreed that if he got you, he would pay off all the debts and help us get our olive business back up and runnin'." she sits beside me. "I would usually be opposed to...sending away my grandbaby, but..."

My tears well up and I sit up straight. "This is daddy's farm. And his daddy's. And his daddy's daddy." I don't go through the generations of men that owned this land. It's basically a family keepsake. Full of pride and love. And memories. "I'll do it." I get to my feet and give my sisters one last glance. "But, I cain't promise I'll be peaches and cream about it."

Going back in the house with her on my heels, we come across the three we left in here sittin' down at the dinner table.

Mama stands up abruptly and Earle just stares. I bet he is just jumpin' for joy on the inside. Happy to get rid of the first daughter. The one that ain't even his own. He always complains about there bein' too many women on this farm. Yellin' at my mama for not givin' him a boy.

"Gracie?" mama has a hint of pleadin' in her voice.

I swallow my pride and walk to Marshall. "Mr Leo Marshall, I will, in fact, marry you." I hold up my left hand and poise my fingers.

Without hesitation, he slips a traditional cut diamond ring on my finger.

"It was my grannie's." he lets me know before standin' up in front of me.

This man is a whole head taller than me. Now, I'm not tiny, but I ain't tall. Barely average, I guess. Feelin' so small next to another person makes me uncomfortable. The only people larger than me that I feel okay around are Gaven and his daddy.

I wonder how he'll react when he finds out about this.

"It's beautiful." I smile at him tryin' to show satisfaction.

An overwhelmin' feelin' to throw up bubbles in my guts.

Rarely in my life have I had somebody so angry with me. Many times I've been yelled at by Earle and mama and a teacher or two, but Gaven is a different kind of angry fella. He just stands next to you and seethes without sayin' a word.

Makes me want to tease him sometimes, but right now the particular thing he's mad about is not a laughin' matter.

I'm gettin' married in June -- a week from now. To Leo Marshall. A man that worked for my daddy and who I found out is actually a decade older than me. He works as a deputy in the town and also has a pretty good olive oil and peach preserve business goin' out of his land. He has a farmhand or two. I don't really remember.

Not really knowin' that much, I left the house early. Before the roosters could sound off and went to get Gaven. Early in the mornin' he is always doin' a mini patrol of the reservation he lives on to make sure no kids from town did some grafitti or somethin'. When I finally was able to pull him away, we came to the old abandoned railroad tracks.

"Are you really gonna not say nothin'?" I ask him. Soundin' serious. "I invited you to my weddin' at least. Can't you pretend to be happy for me?"

He pauses and the rocks under his boots shift. "How?" he turns to me. "How could I possibly pretend to be happy for you? My best friend is being sold off to some man she barely knows and definitely don't associate with." he looks off to the side and then at me. "Don't you hate this?"

My lip quivers so I bite it. "I don't hate it." I maintain. "If I marry Marshall, my family will be safe. My mama and my sisters and Nana... All of them will not be kicked out onto the streets or left to rot on a farm they cain't take care of."

"Yeah, but, Gracie," he steps forward and grabs my shoulders. "This is not your fault. Earle is the man of that house, the responsibility to provide for that family is supposed to be on his shoulders. Not yours."

A tear escapes my eye and I wipe it away faster than I can sniffle.

"My daddy told me on his death bed..." I choke a tad. "He told me to take care of my mama and my Nana. He said that even if something were to happen or someone were to join our family, my loyalty should never change." this time my tears can't be stopped by wipin' them away. I can't get at 'em fast enough. "I love my family, Gaven. What was I supposed to do? My mama looks sick all the time, my sisters gotta go to school, Nana is old, and Earle is...well, he's Earle. They'll be hopeless if I don't marry Marshall and so will I."

He growls and turns around runnin' his hands through his long hair. "What can I do to..." he faces me again. "You should marry me instead, Gracie." he suggests, takin' both my hands. "I'll take care of you and your family. I'm about to be twenty in two months. It'll be legal. Nobody can complain."

Rather than pull away, I grip his hands. "No, Gaven." he gives me a disappointed expression right off the bat. As soon as I said 'no'. "You know that they can, and they would. We're both young. Everybody would talk. Say I got knocked up or that it won't last. We'll be harassed. Half the people on your reservation don't approve of marriages between their kind and outsiders. And, how would you provide for my family? I know you could take care of me if you put your mind to it, but what about them?"

He turns his face away from mine. "Dammit, Gracie..." I turn his face so our eyes meet. His blue with my blue. Eye of my eye.

"It'll be alright." I try to promise. "I'll be happy even if I gotta force myself to be."

Smackin' his teeth, he averts his eyes again. Obviously not okay with that.

"No matter what, Oukonunaka." I wrap my arms around him. "You're my usual, remember?"

After a while, he hugs me too. "You're my usual, Gracie Belle."

We separate and share a glance before turnin' to continue our walk. We hold hands. Not goin' anywhere in particular, just makin' our way to the end of the trail. Until we reach where the old dusty railway breaks off at the even older cliff edge. There are signs up all over the place, spread out far and wide for everybody to see. It's dangerous to have cars here. It's dangerous to walk here. I think there are some remains of some fella that was travellin' through here and didn't see the signs. Nobody ever came lookin' for him so they never went down to get him after they found out he was down there. This town is real funny that way. It's almost like it didn't happen as long as nobody talks openly about it and everybody unanimously decides it ain't important.

"How's your mama been doin'?" he asks me. It's been a minute since he's seen her because of Earle. Besides, mama bein' sick sometimes keeps her out of town.

Gaven doesn't go in much either.

I shrug, not knowin' how to answer. "She'll live. She just gotta go on a diet and stop any heavy work on the farm. I told the girls to take care of her when I left."

"Where are you gonna be living?" he questions, as we turn away from the high fall.

In the corner of my eye, I can see a tire looped around a branch.

"Well," I try to remember the pictures of the house Marshall showed me yesterday. "It's a cute house. Closer to town since he's a deputy." I almost fall, but he catches me. My rubber boots too big for my feet. For some reason, I was compelled to wear daddy's shoes today.

My hand is let go of so he can pat at my hair. "You got mess all over you."

"I had to climb the hills to come see you." I laugh. "Of course I got mess all over me."

"Gracie!" my name is shouted at me from somewhere to my left and I look. It's Marshall.

I wonder if he came lookin' for me while I step away from Gaven a little bit. So he doesn't misread the situation and call off our weddin'.

Not knowing why he wanted to marry me anyway makes it hard to understand what I can and cannot do.

"Marshall," I say his name. Halfway lettin' Gaven know who it is.

I'm waved to come closer to Marshall's patrol car. And I come. No reason to argue, I have to see what he wants.

"Who is this here?" he questions me with his eyes on Gaven. "Now, I know I have seen this boy in town with you a few times. I even remember him bein' at your daddy's house when you were little." he squints at Gaven. "Hard to forget a red with a white stripe and blue eyes."

Gaven crosses his arms. "I'm Oukonunaka, son of the chief, Akule."

Marshall puts on his shades, all smooth like and then takes my arm. "Well if you don't mind...I don't know how the hell to pronounce that name so I'll call ya 'Skunk'." he smiles, I can't see the look in his eyes. Only Gaven's reflection. "If you don't mind, Skunk, I'm gonna take her home now."

"That's what I was doing." my friend seems mad so I step away from Marshall and move to go get in his car.

I wave to him. "Gaven, you're invited to the weddin', come if you want to. Bring your family."

"How many in your family?" Marshall chews on a toothpick. When I opened the door to his car I noticed it smelled like barbeque.

Gaven doesn't want to answer, so I do it. "Four," I tell him. "Him, his mama, sister, and daddy."

"He got a tongue in his mouth," Marshall chides. "Let him speak for himself."

I bite my tongue.

"Gracie, I actually have somewhere to be that day." he scratches his neck, smilin' at me. "I'll tell my family, but I... won't be there."

I feel a little pinch in my chest. "Oh..."

"Also," he takes a look at his leather strap pocket watch. "I'm on duty to help out at the school today. I'll see you later."

With that, he waves at me and spits on the ground right before leaving up the road. Towards the reservation.

"Come on, girl," Marshall slaps the roof of the car making me jump. "I'm takin' you home."

I get in the car, but I don't put on a belt. "You don't have to drive me. I know my way just fine. I can walk."

He laughs at me. "You got it all wrong, sugar, l am takin' you to my home. Our home. You might as well get used to it before, right?"

I nod and go ahead and put on my belt. "Do...can I go back to my house and get some things? Pack my stuff?" he doesn't respond to me. "I don't have very much. If I can just go back and get some things, like clothes, some toiletries, small things." he still don't say nothin' and I curl up my lips in irritation. "Marshall?"

"When we get married, you can't be doin' all this talkin'," he tells me strictly. "Your mama already packed up what she said was important. There ain't nothin' else you need to be botherin' me for."

That was sorta mean. "Well..." I decide to get over it. This is gonna be my husband. I have to get along with him. It should only be a matter of time before we warm up to each other. He must already like me somehow or else he wouldn't have asked for me. "Alright."

Marshall drives like a predator. All slow and watchful. Occasionally, he'll wave to somebody on the street. Introduce me or not acknowledge my presence at all. Not once since we stopped talkin' have I had the urge to strike up a conversation with him.

"Here." he points to a house.

This house is a little different than the one I saw in the picture. It's the same house, I know that for sure, but it looks like it's in the middle of remodelin'. The walls are dirty and some windows are hard to see through from here.

It doesn't give the feeling of home and it is an absolutely filthy place.

The only area that seems maintained in the least would be the tree groves. The barn and the shed appear to be the first things he started on with his remodel. The paint is fresh, the wood ain't chipped, and the roofing tile is new.

I see two people with big hats on under the tree branches. Examinin' the crop it looks like. One is wearin' a dress, so it's a girl. Her red hair in a messy braid as if she did it three days ago and hasn't bothered to take it down or tidy it. The other is a man. Big brown bushy beard, and overalls.

"If we're gonna be a family, I know I gotta fix up the place," he tells me as we undo our belts. "Come on."

He takes my hand and leads me into the house. I shuffle and walk kinda slow because I want to see the farm. I want to see all of it. Usually when somebody brings you to their land, they show you everything outside first and then the inside of the house. It's an etiquette type of thing.

"Good Lord." I try to hold in my gasp when I view the inside of the house.

There are dogs here, obviously. I can smell 'em. There is dust everywhere and the windows are smudged in a lot of places. There are lots of dirty dishes not just in the sink but all over the kitchen. On the table and on the counter. On the floor, falsely licked clean by canines.

"These are yours, sugar." he hands me a bucket. It's full of stuff. Rags, sponges, a pair of gloves, and cleaning fluids. Then he gives me a broom and a mop. Hard to hold in one hand so I tuck one under my arm. "Get to work." he gives me a quick kiss on the forehead and then heads out of the kitchen. "Oh, and tomorrow, my cousin is gonna bring my son here. I know you're used to kids."

I blink at him. "Son? I... didn't know you had one."

"Yes, ma'am." he turns and leaves without further explanation.

Through the window, I can see him go to the people that were outside. The girls got a big basket on her hip.

I have so many questions. So many concerns. I wanna call home.

On my wedding day, my hands feel raw. Red and sore from all the work I had to do around the house. Dustin' wasn't too hard, but then there was sweepin' the floors and scrubbin' the walls and windows and moppin' and more scrubbin'.

Still, I had to organise the store room and the pantry, tidy the kitchen, and the dinin' room. He's got a room downstairs off the dinin' room that is for his dogs when it's cold outside and when the weather gets too bad. The parlour was by far the dustiest. I couldn't stop sneezin'.

Upstairs there are three bedrooms and a two level attic. I slept in one of the bedrooms and not the master. Marshall said he was waiting for our weddin' night to share a room with me. Wantin' to keep me innocent or some hogwash like that. I found myself too tired by dinner to listen much when he tries to talk to me. All I really remember is him frequently askin' me if I ever been with another man. If I have ever been in a relationship. I don't know how many times I gotta say 'no'.

What I found out though was that the people I met on the first day were his cousins. Norean and Coop. They don't live here. They just work here. Instead they live in a little townhouse in town.

"You ready, girl?" Norean fixes up my hair and puts on my veil.

I'm covered from head to toe in white. "Ready as I'll ever be." I reply, tryin' not to sigh. "Is it time yet?" because I wanna get it over with.

"My cousin loves you, you know?" she muses in my ear. "He always watchin' you and lookin' out for your family now. He thinks you are just so pretty and thinks that innocent sweetness that you've got is the best thing in the world. A good trait to have."

"Why?" I find myself wonderin'.

She shrugs. "I don't know. Reckon he just does. Ain't gotta be a reason for why somebody prefers somebody."

She finishes up with what she's doin' and guides me downstairs behind her. She wears a cornflower coloured dress, my only bridesmaid since I don't have any girl friends and my sisters are young.

Now that I think about it, today will be the first day in a while that I see my mama or any of my family. I've been held up in Marshall's farmhouse for the whole week.

Gaven is nowhere to be found either.

In the back of mind, I guess I hoped that he wasn't mad. But, he is and I know it.

"Here's come the bride." I can hear an elderly woman in the back whisper gleefully.

People from the town that I've never associated with before are here. Friends of Marshall's or just people who invited themselves since weddin's ain't all that common anymore. Most young folk leave town and only come back to raise their kids.

I walk down the aisle and go to Marshall. He stands there lookin' handsome indeed, but big in size. Castin' a shadow on the small part of aisle in front of him.

Nevertheless, he seems happy to see me.

The weddin' goes on and Marshall and I exchange vows. He tells me that he loves me and will take care of me just as good as my daddy did. Even though that is doubtful, I reply by tellin' him that I'll work to be the perfect wife and perform my duties as such. I cain't tell him I love him. That would be a lie.

Instead, I tell him that I appreciate everything he's done for me.

The ceremony ends with us sayin', 'I do' and him kissin' me all gentle like.

We walk down the aisle and I smile at everybody that wishes us luck and blessin's. Nobody in town seemin' to have any objections. Even though our age difference is so high. Maybe because the mayor married his wife when she was around my age and he was eleven years older. They've been married twenty years and they still look at each other the same.

"Smile, sugar," Marshall pokes me right above the lip. "You just became Mrs. Leo Marshall, Gracie Belle."

I do smile. I smile with all my heart. I know exactly why, I'm thinkin' about my mama and my sisters and grandmama. Grinnin' and wavin' at my wedding. I'm happy they're happy and taken care of now.

"Why do you love me, Marshall?" I ask him quietly. He's got one arm around and over my shoulders his free hand on the wheel.

He quickly swipes his nose with his thumb. "We're married now, you ain't gotta call me 'Marshall'," he tells me with his eyes on the road. "It's strange, ain't it."

"Alright," my palms get sweaty. "Well, Leo, why do you love me?"

He goes around it again. "Call me 'Lee', Gracie."

I get real frustrated, real fast. "Lee, why do you love me!" I raise my voice for the first time in a real long time. "It is just a simple question, answer me!"

He takes his arm from behind me and holds the wheel so he can stop on a dime. "Don't yell at me." he says quietly at first. "Don't you ever yell at me!" he demands and I back away as far into the door as possible.

Marshall sounds mad enough to hit me and no matter how much I back up, I'm still in arms reach of him.

"I'm sorry." I shudder at the look in his eyes. Bloodshot at the edges. As heated as summer. "It won't happen again." I start to twirl my necklace in my fingers.

He sniffs and starts drivin' again. "Better not."

Not even an hour I been married and already, I wanna run away. Earle didn't even yell at me that fiercely. That land is really my grandmama's and he don't wanna incur her wrath too much so he watches hisself. But, Marshall... he ain't got the fear in him.

"Come on." he opens his door and waves to me.

I get out of the truck and pick up my dress to walk to the house, but Marshall comes around and picks me up. Bridal style is how I always liked to be carried over the rough parts of the tracks and hills by Gaven. Now Marshall holds me like this to bring me over the threshold of the house I already been livin' in for a week.

"I could've walked." I mutter, not really sure what tone I should speak in now.

"This is what husbands do." he tells me. "I'm gonna carry you," he reaches for the door. "All the way to the bedroom."

A dry feelin' rises in my throat, I don't have any word to say in response to that.

The sense that somebody is watchin' me catches me and I hold on to Marshall's shoulder to lift myself a bit so I can see over it. My eyes land on the bush up the driveway and I could swear I see somethin', but the door closes.

Marshall takes me up the stairs and right into the master bedroom. Putting me down on the bed before goin' to take off his tie.

I shudder at the thought of what comes next, but I play along. "Do ya... Do ya want me to take this off?" I pull at the neck of my dress.

He nods at me. "Slowly." he turns to me completely and stares. "Go ahead."

I take off my dress as easily as I can without rippin' it.

When I have it all the way off, and my hair down, I just sit here on the bed with my hands in my lap. Waitin' for him to do somethin', anything, so I can feel somethin' else other than this mind numbin' nervousness.

The first move he makes after strippin' down is goin' to close the flower patterned curtains on the windows. Then he comes over towards me.

I try to distract myself by lookin' at his features. Hair is all on his chest and his head hair is out of order now. He is strong like a farmer and broad like a grown man. He smells like Olive oil and aftershave. Not a bad smell, but it kinda burns my nose.

Marshall has got really pretty brown eyes though. Though I don't think he'd take too kindly to bein' called pretty in any way shape or form.

Kisses are pressed all along my body, he takes his time as if he's got all the time in the world. Until a certain point. Then he starts to rush as if he cain't contain himself no more.

I don't say anything, I try to bite the inside of my upper lip so I don't make a sound, I keep my body limp so he can move me the way he wants.

When he tells me to do somethin' I do, when he tells me to make a sound, I do it.

When he puts himself inside of me, I don't feel no pain. Not too much of it anyway. More than feelin' that kind of pain, I feel a twinge in my heart again. It's strange to think, but I want to see Gaven.

I want him to give me a hug and tell me it's alright like he did when we were kids and my daddy died. I want him to tell me that I'm doin' the right thing by marryin' Marshall so I can have my family taken care of. Inside I know he won't ever say that, though. Cause he don't believe that, not one bit.

Marshall finishes sooner than I thought, books made me think it last for hours if not a whole night. When he is done, it feels like hours have passed but I can see on the ticker that it's only been about twenty minutes. Give or take.

"What do you want me to do now?" I sit up, slow. Clutchin' my ******. I've never been this ***** in front of anybody before. Not since I hit puberty and started maturin'.

Marshall breathes in through his nose like he frequently does. "Make dinner." he answers like it's obvious.

"Alright." I scoot on off the bed and get to my feet. I go to the room I was stayin' in at first. I still got all my clothes in here so I come in here to change. I wanna take a shower first, more than anything, but I'll get dinner done, eat, and then make myself feel clean again after. "Mar... Lee, I gotta go into town." I tell him after I get dressed and start to do my hair. "Can I have some money to get what I need to make dinner?"

He goes to his drawer and pulls out his wallet. "Here." he sifts through all the bills and hands me forty dollars. "Gimme my change when you get back."

I nod. "Alright."

I grab my basket on the way out so I ain't gotta buy bags at the market and head out. I don't want Marshall to drive me and I don't want to be bothered, so I make up my mind to walk.

The whole way while I'm in front of the house, I feel eyes on me. Comin' from above in the house.

I am about to turn around to wave at Marshall because I know he's watchin' me, but then I notice somethin' outta the corner of my eye.

Footprints right in front of the bush and tree at the end of the driveway. They're fresh. But I cain't think of a soul that would stand here. Until a face pops up in my mind. I shake it off, thinkin' I'm crazy. Then I turn to the house. I was right. Marshall was watchin' me... He's still watchin' me. With a sour expression on his face.

I ignore it. And head to the market. Thankful for some time to myself.