I can't sing. it's as simple as that. my mother ruined everything I loved. is not fair, how come everyone looks so happy. why can't I be happy. why... why! and how come I find my self crying every night over someone so worthless, someone so unnecessary. but I deal with life as it comes and if this is how my life is planned out than that is how it should be. that is why I looked at the floor and to thought let's get this life over with then.

I get looks as I come into school and that is something that has happened so regularly that I'm now used to it, I don't have friends so I use my time to study instead. every morning feels like a repeat every breakfast every bell every lunch some people so still wonder why I haven't taken my own life yet but I decided at the young age of 4 that I have to live for my dad's sake I have been blessed with life and even though it is a day and something that I would rather not have I always remember how lucky I am that I got the option to live for some people is not that easy, for some that due to young of unfair things. Blackmer I get to live and they don't, if I could I would trade my life for my dad's any day.

"Yan" I snap out of my trans "are you listening" music class the thing I always dread. "no" is a simple answer I hate the nice singing and joy. it sickens me to think of people hovering so much fun from something that almost took my life. and the fact that I just got choose for lead singer just made it worse and as if my body didn't even have to conduct what was going on I had already decided that I want going to do my best. I was going to try and sabotage this play and everyone's joy from such a dreaded thing.

that night when I got home I noticed the cuteness blowing in the wind and draws open but when I noticed that my picture of me and my dad fly out the window that was it I grow down my life was worthless without that picture the last memory of my father the only person I could ever love... ever.

I didn't go to school the next day I don't feel like it infect I hadn't got it of bed for the fast day it was pointless my last reason to live was gone.

I shot up. no he wasn't he was still here in my heart I couldn't see him no but I knew that do in my heart even without the photo I would always remember the big smiles on our faces that day and the way my dad's eyes shone as he looked me in the eye.