Hi, I'm YamiMao(My nickname/pen name), this is a true story, of my experience with life..
I turn 19 yrs old this year, I lost my father in 2019 November, he died of Heart attack....
Every kid since young, especially introverts, have a habit of not talking to people and wanting to live life the way they want, I was like that too...
A complete introvert, I never talked to my relatives except for my parents, grandparents and siblings (2 brother, an elder and a younger), and I didn't even like talking to them either, I was always alone, because in 4th standard my parents suddenly changed my school and I lost all my friends, I was brought into a new environment with a lot of bullies, I had never experienced it, I was afraid, not knowing what to do....
I started hating my parents, hell I even started thinking that every human is the same, only thinking good for one's own self..
I thought its useless to talk to anyone, because of that I slowly got fat day by day, and was almost 50KG at the age of 13, and was only 4'8" in height, my cousins and uncles made fun of me to pass their time, my siblings joined them to escape from being mocked, my father didn't take my side and laughed along with them, my mother was too busy with the female guests, that she never ever saw me being harassed....
At least that's what I knew, that's what I could see with my eyes...
But, in 2017, my father got into an accident and got a brain clot, but he hid it from us, the problem grew by the time passed, but he never took a break from work, in 2018 June, we found out that my father had 2 heart attacks during this time, but he copped with it, and didn't even let us notice it, we still continued to work hard day after day, his health began to deteriot and but he continued to work...
One day, I asked him...
why he never cared about me?
why he always hated me but loved my younger brother?
why he never interrupted my cousins and stop them from harassing me?
why did he hate me so much?
His reply was, you were the best in studies and manners in our entire family,
but you didn't know how to cope with different situations,
He said, because he thought that caring for others will help him out in afterlife, he never thought that people could be evil too, he never knew of this side, which exists, and lost a lot, lost many chances, lost more than $200K, he lost respect, lost friends...
All because he never knew how people were,
And unlike my elder and younger brothers who were free with people, and were good with interactions, I was an introvert who never knew of the outside world, so it was important for me to learn how people were and learn to reply, talk back when someone harasses you....
At that moment, I realized how much of an idiot I was,
But before I could ask for forgiveness from my father, he passed away,
Because of my idiotic thoughts, I lost my chance of having memories with my father.
He was the only person I ever talked to, though I only fought him with words, still it was only him, who tried to help me out...
And now I don't have anyone like that left, I lost everything, just because I lost him..
People think breaking up with a GF is a big deal, but those guys doesn't know that, you can still get another GF or BF, but you can never substitute your parents, as...
They're the ones who know the most about you, they might not know you at times, but they still love you, and not show it on surface...
Remember to take good care of relationships as they're truly important, and can never be bought with money, and once you lose them...
You lose a part of yourself, which can never be gained back.
