I knew I wasn't his type, but I thought it would be better if I could be his close friend. A friend he can turn to for advice, or a crying shoulder when someone breaks his heart. I thought my silly crush would dissolve, but instead, it turns to intense love I never felt before. Just looking at his picture gives me fizzy and fluttery feeling inside. I try to push it away, but every time I hang around with him, my love for him grew even more. I couldn't stop feeling jealous when he talks to someone else that is not me. I hate that I even feel like this. I want to be a supporting friend, but am I lying to myself? If I ignore my feelings, maybe the love I feel for him will go away.
Is graduation day, today is the day I tell him. If he doesn't feel the way, oh well least I try. We suppose to meet at Hilltop with our classmates after the graduation ceremony. Maybe I will tell him then.
We arrived at the same time. I started getting nervous every time I was around him or close by. I can't turn back now, it's time, now or never. Every time I try to talk to him, he walks away, or I am getting pull different directions from him. My heart starts to pump faster and faster, and my mind is racing of all different types of thoughts. I need to find him soon before I back out. I ask one of my friends where he might be; they said he was walking towards the kissing bridge. I walk towards there. Once I found him, seeing the moonlight highlight his features flashes back when I fell in love with him. His flaws made him even more attractive. When I was about to walk towards him, I notice a dark shadow moving slowly towards him. My heart drops. The closer they got towards each other; I felt a knot in my throat. I quickly hide behind the rock, and tears start to roll down my cheek. My once upon time story was just a fairy tale. I felt a pain in my chest. I quickly walk to my group of friends. Holding back the tears and emotions was even more painful what I have witnessed. Maybe it's a sign we weren't meant to be.
The next day, he was going to leave soon. So, I decided to write him a letter, a five-page handwritten letter that I pour my heart out and our friendship on the line. Even though I saw him kissing someone else, I have to tell him. Even if I get rejected from him, it couldn't hurt as much as it did last night. As I walk to his house, I took a deep breath before ringing the bell. I waited for a good minute, but no one came down to open the door. I try to peek inside from the windows, but I couldn't see anything. I notice his car wasn't there. I miss my chance. I place the envelope inside the mailbox and a bracelet that I made for him. He will read it one day, or he will toss it out. It's up to the universe now.
Ten years later, I'm married to someone else with two kids. Traveling back to my hometown brings out good memories. I decided to take my family at the Hilltop, that was my favorite place to hang out as a kid. Once we got there, I saw a familiar face. My unrequited love was also there with his family. We greet each other as time rewind back when we were kids. We introduced our significant others and our kids. The kids ran along; a flashback memory brings the time I first time I met him. Time might have flown by, but the old feeling always stays inside. We brought up old gossips and catching up with our life. I notice on his right wrist he is wearing my bracelet! Did he read the letter? Why he never reaches out? I felt my heart skip a beat. My husband pointed out to him about the bracelet he was wearing. He smiles and laughs, "Oh, this is my good luck charm. If I lost it, I get so mad at myself for losing it and losing my chance to treasure it. Ever since I never take it off." I felt my heart-melting. Every time he spoke to me, I can feel the old feelings rushing back inside of me. As sunset goes down, we said our goodbyes. As I hold my husband's hand, I look back and wondering what if.
