I don't know why I keep asking someone to help me. Maybe my story is not extraordinary like others. But I know in my story I am the heroine.
My grandma was passed away when my mom was too young at the time. She didn't even remember her face.
My grandfather dead 3 days after my parent's wedding. And the same day after one year I was born.
I am her eldest child so I make her mom like she starts learning how to be a good mom through me.
My father used to hit me for small mistakes like 4 years old girl forget the spelling of thousand etc.They have so many stress that's why they hit or punish me . They release there stress through it.
My mom tries to be a mother who she wants in her life. She was a perfectionist and dreamer too.
She was always proud of me.
I have two younger sisters who are not like me. They are more extravert.
Mom said things when I was young start imprint on the head. Like rules
1. Don't do any makeup dad doesn't like it
It like boys to attract
2. Be an elder sister, mature you should be a role model to your sister (when I was 6 years old)
3. She starts to count my public exam when I was at first standard.
4. Compare me with others. If I got a low mark.
5. She will tell all things happen in the world. (That make me mature).
She is a great person. She helps all people around her. A great mother, sister and wife.
I used to see my father hit my mom or shout at her. I know my father is a good man but he never gives credit to my mom for being a good wife.
My father sold our home and we started to live in our uncle's home. It was vacated at that time. Our life was not a great one at that time. At that time we only meet our father on alternate days. Then uncle's family come to live with us. So we have to move from there.
My father got a visa to Saudi Arabia and my mother convinced him to go. And we shifted to a rented house. So basically, my mom brought me up.
I was alone in school time. I don't know why maybe they are jealous of me or because of my principles. There were so many people around me to make gossip about me. But I never react or revenge on that. I always forgive them.
Then I started to dream about the medical field I wanted to become a doctor. So start to prepare for the entrance exam. The first time something happens at my hostel. I became the warden's person fighting pillow. She started indirectly abuse me so I quit early. Before that, I fell from a stair cause dislocation in the lumbar region. I didn't touch the book after that I just wrote the exam and I got a good score to secure a seat for dentistry in a government college.
So repeat entrance so I thought I will crack NEET and get admission to MBBS. But my back pain cause me to miss so many classes I was on bed rest for 3 months. After that, I lost my passion for MBBS. I just want anything, that was my thought. The same thing happen before the exam I quit. But write the exam and I got a seat in BDS in a private college on merit.
For my parents, I studied there but something happened my roommate started to avoid me. They will leave the place if I am there like that. Loneliness became my friend. I don't have a phone so started write stories with a sad ending. I don't know why I started to cry silly things. I like to cry I am addicted to sad stories. Then pandemics happen...
I started to avoid online classes because of social anxiety first thought. Then my parents noticed it they take to a psychologist. Psychologist after psychologist nothing happened and then psychiatrist nothing happened.
My mom started worried about my future because she was afraid of what will happen if society comes to know about my depression.
I failed in my first year in college.
My parent not understanding my stage they keep complaining to me about me not doing anything or studying.
Then supplementary exam came my parents and teachers start to stress me.
So I decided to kill myself.....
But God has other decisions.
I got admitted to the hospital for 12 days and I meet both new psychologists and new psychiatrists.
They ask me to attend group therapy. From there my life change I started to see my life in a new direction.
There I meet a new me, who hide behind my soul.
Now I wanted to become a good dentist, a good psychologist, a businesswoman,, writer, and artist.
New me is born with powerful mind..and with determination.....
continue.....
