Sometimes...smiling is the best medicine. But what she always regard is that if you suddenly smile alone, you need a medicine.
Hannah was a junior school student, she had four younger siblings with a true relationship with them. All of them always fight, actually. Her parents live separately which is why she and her younger brother was left alone with their abusive father.
"Why haven't you done the dishes?! Why do you always play when you don't even finish your chores?!"
"I'll do it..."
But even so, Hannah always smiled. She smiled even for no reason, she never cried in fear she would be weak. Her father always abuse her and her brother, but that never made her cry, really.
She tried hard in her study. There was once a thought that came into her mind, 'I will make this b*stard kneel to me...' is what she thought. But as soft-hearted she is. Hannah didn't have a heart to do so. She always loved her father, although she hates him.
Seven year passes by, her father died after an accident... But Hannah never cried. She herself was confused on why her lips curved back then.
Hannah got a job as a writer, which has been her dream ever since young. One day, after so long, she visited her mother and other younger siblings. Even when she's angry, even she didn't know why she still smiled. But her mother noticed something amiss that's why they seek a psychiatrist, and she was told to be suffering depression for so long.
Her mother can't help but worry, so she asks, "Did your d*mned father done something to you?! Why didn't you told me--" But her words cut off when Hannah...
"And what can someone as useless as you, do? How ridiculous." ...coldly glares at her.
This was the first time she became serious, without a slight nor faint of smile. Hannah back then...lose the will to live.
Everyday, she feels empty; She doesn't want to get up the bed, she isolated herself, she felt her meals tasteless, and she...doesn't smile anymore. Hannah have forgotten what to live for. Every night, her tears will leave her eyes. And nightmares will put a play in her theatre of peace.
But Hannah, even so, tried to fight her inner demons. Anxiety and mistrust. Hannah tried to smile, but it no longer gives a positive feeling. Now it just make her more crazy.
"Just who am I...? What am I even living for...?"
She then looked at the fictional character she made.
"What about you? What do you think you are living for?"
Although the girl in the image can't even answer, she still asked... Once more, tears drops in her face.
And not so long after, after a few months, she received a news that her only family left...were murdered altogether.
“Just what am I going to live for, then?"
Her world truly lose its only color.
