Can u be mine?
Author: .
*Vivian(FL)*
I was not born in any rich family... I was always just a normal girl with a normal life, normal parents but... guess my childhood wasn't normal at all...
It all started when my parents started fighting, My biological father always used to physically beat me and my mom... I was just 3 years old, when my parents divorced... indeed I was very happy about that as my dad never loved us and my mom used to cry always. Soon after her divorce I was send to Hostel near our city, luckily my aunty knew the school principal so... I used to visit my aunt every now and then. But I never saw my mom when I went back... During that period of time many things happened.
Once during the holidays my aunt was very busy for work and I couldn't go back home yet all my friends went back. Lukily our Principal took me to her home as I was the only one left in the hostel, and that was when it went wrong..
My principal went out for some business that morning I and her husband were in home... later that day her husband called me in his room and he molested me, I was so young that I couldn't understand anything but one thing I know was that I was scared... very scared. Later that evening my aunt took me home.
*2 years later*
My mom got married to my foster dad.I returned to my family and started living with them. I was happy and Dad treated me well, he never lets me feel that I am no his own daughter..indeed I am lucky to have a dad like him.
*2 years later*
Ohh!! I am so happy my little brother is born just now... he is so small I have never seen such a small human. He is called Alex... Alex Chan. Mom said I am a grown up now as I have a little brother now.
We went to a new city later I got a new school... that's when I met Andrew... Andrew Smith my bestie. He was a fat ,chubby, cute short guy then who knew he would grow to be a handsome boy... but indeed we soon became friends.
*7 years later*
It was the first day of highschool... I told myself "Maybe my childhood wasn't good enough, but I won't let my future be the same". (Guess got wanted to prove me wrong). As soon as I woke up I called Andew to ask him if we were in the same class? He exitedly answer me with a big Yes! At the end he is the guy who stayed with me always in my childhood without any regrets.
Of course Andrew is my another lucky star after my Dad...
Soon I got ready for school. Andrew called to come down stairs as we always went school together... After reaching School we saw many new faces, like new teachers and students indeed we were exited but a little nervous too. Soon the bell rang and our school started as it was the first day nothing much happend except the introductions and other normal things...
During the break time while I was going out, to laze around I saw this guy... tall, with beautiful green eyes, handsome looking, soft brown hair outside our class and I felt something different something unexpected... yes! my heart started beating fast.. like really fast, and I was frozen there just seeing him not ever realising that Andrew was calling me. I came back when Andrew softly tapped my shoulder... I asked him "what?...did u call" Andrew replied "Yes... I have been calling you from last 5 mins! why r you so absent minded today?" I nodded my head as a no! and went with Andrew to accompany him During the break time...
Later that day while roaming in the School playground I saw that guy again... indeed I never met him or knew his name but there was something, and I felt very attached and attracted to him even if it was my first day to see him. When I told this to Andrew he said maybe it was love at first sight, and ofcorce it went all about my head as I never fell in love before. After reaching home I searched in the internet about it but I got nothing....
*2 days later*
I saw him again today it's like the 5 th time from the morning, is it a coincidence or it's maybe because I was stalking him all day...
"I am so curious about this guy I saw in school" I said to Andrew while we where sitting in the couch watching movies . He looked confused... I indeed never had a crush or a puppy love before as I never got close to any guy before, (except Andrew) so I decided to know about this mysterious guy more...
Yes! I have a friend in the same class he studies. Andrew was confused again... that who am I talking about. I said him "Last year I made this girl name Eva and I helped her with her project maybe...Its time for her to help me". Andrew was curious about what I am thinking.
*The next day in school*
I was standing outside Eva's class waiting for her... then suddenly someone called me and asked *???* "Can I help u with anything? ". I looked back and saw him... OMG he is that guy Whom I shamelessly stalk everyday ,he does has some beautiful eyes and a handsome face, and why is my heart beating so fast? ... for a second I didn't realize that he was calling me, but then Eva came from behind and tapped my back asking me "Hey! Are u that girl who helped me with my project last year? I remember you... you are quite cute". While she was saying this I noticed that the guy already went... not thinking much I asked Eva if I could treat her lunch at the end she is the only way, to know about that guy more...
During lunch break we talked about some random things here and there...then I got some courage and asked her "hey! who was the guy who asked me questions" Eva looked confused and shocked but she answered "oh! he don't think much he is just another boy... his name is kelvin... kelvin Jones. *in mind* "Oh so his name is Kelvin!". Eva soon asked "but why do u ask about him??" I said nodded my head saying that "it's nothing". After some chit chat we both wished a warm goodbye and went to our respective homes...
*At home*
As soon as I reached home I called Andrew to tell him everything...
*On the phone*
Andrew : Hey! Did u get what u needed?
Me : Yup...but nothing much just got his name...
Andrew : WHAT!!! literally just the name and u didn't spend the day with me and wasted your time with Eva.. to get just the name????!!
Me : Hey can u stop showing? I am not deaf lol. And Eva is kinda cute tho she has quite a good sense of humor, and mostly I don't want anyone to know I like Kelvin...
Andrew : So, that guys name is kelvin?
Me : yeah! Cool name right?
Andrew : huh! what ever I am still angry...
Me : Aww OK I promise I will treat you to compensate my mistake.
Andrew : OK, That will do...Bye for now I need to study or my mom's gonna Kill me.
Me : OK bye An-panda! (Nick name) Cya tomorrow.
*End of call*
*Vivian (FL)*
I didn't know why but I wanted to know him more...and I realized I have a special place for him in my heart even if I didn't knew him.
OK so... yeah I am still stalking him ask me why? IDK I just can't build my courage to say him "Hi". Such a coward I am ugh! but I am not sad as long as I can see him I get a wired satisfaction there you know something which probably humans don't get lol... Andrew is lately to busy to spend time with me as his mom is Forcing him to study all day. So I decided to visit him this weekend.
*In the weekend*
I woke up in the morning did my morning routine and decided to go to Andrew's house after a while...As soon as I reached his house I found it wired as there was pin Drop silence and as much I knew his mom shouts at him whole day so I decided to ring the bell.
And guess what Kelvin opens the door, and that thing happened again I got stuck at my position, could not utter a single world. But from the other side Kelvin spoke "hey you are that wired school girl na? I saw last time" and this sentence took me out from my fairy land or I should say the line "Wired school girl" was more effective to help me come to my senses and thankfully I said something this time... "Is Andrew home? I am her friends" and I realized I fvcked up the sentence.
*Vivian's brain*
OMG OMG what the hell did I say... her friend literally???what is he thinking!! he already thinks I am some wired school girl and no this oh god my life end here I can't live with this humiliation I did to myself.
*Vivian in her real world*
While I was thinking those stupid things which probably didn't make sense Kelvin took me inside the home... And I saw Andrew, and he didn't look well. (Nothing much... he was just tired of studying) So I went to him to give him some mental support that he needed the most that time...while I was talking to Andrew I asked him about kelvin... "Hey! what is he doing here? " Andrew said kelvin was his maths teacher and I was freaking out as the subject I hate the most in this world his maths and my crush was a maths teacher... quite terrifying indeed. I started to talk with Andrew but I couldn't utter a word to Kelvin why? maybe I was to scared to talk after what happened few minutes ago or I was a coward...While they both where studying I felt like a 3rd wheel between 2 couples in a date, so I decided to leave and I guess that was not the good option... let me tell u guys something, in weekends I don't even touch my books I don't study , frankly speaking I abandon my books. While I wished Andrew a good bye ...Kelvin suddenly said "I know u are bored as he is studying so... why don't u study to? " And with that sentence Andrew laughed and I couldn't speak a word again...i return Kelvin said "OK, so I will take it as a yes". And this was how I was forced to study "Maths" and specifically in the weekends... I don't blame anyone for this it's not anyone's fault that I become mute when my crush starts speaking....
*2 days later*
Andrew is back to School...i am happy but looks like all the girls in my class are more happy,I was some where happy for that weekend when I went to Andrew's house and study with kelvin but also hated the humiliation I did u my self that day infront of my crush....yes again as always I staked Kelvin without letting him know I followed him just to get a glance of him. I know it's creepy but trust me it felt good...
It's already been 5 month about that last incident... I saw him numerous times but he never looked back, maybe it's was my imagination he doesn't likes me. I should forget him. At the end I waited for 5 months didn't I? But why is it so hard to forget him why can't I take him out from my mind...Ugh! I hate it!!! it's like a virus in my brain.
Each time I saw him my heart always told me to try again... to wait for his move, to still expect that someday he will know my feelings, maybe...Andrew was worried about me he always said I acted wired recently, is it? Am I wired? I guess maybe I am. I recently tried to forget about it and do my studies and spend time with my close ones. And yes! my parents don't know about my...puppy love in school and I somewhere know they won't understand. I decided to skip my school for a week, Andrew helped me with the homework and assignments. Frankly I missed school or I should say I missed him...
"ugh! Andrew I hate it he is all over my brain" I said frustatedly. "Be my girlfriend then, I loved you from a long time" he said calmly looking in my eyes... did I heard wrong aah! of course I did this can't be possible right?. I looked at him with both shock and confused reaction and I only got one thing "I am serious" he said it holding my hands. No!! this is not right I always thought him as a bestfriend never as a boyfriend... this is going wrong really wrong! I suddenly stood up from the floor...(we sat on the floor to study) and took my hand from Andrew. He looked at me but I didn't, "you should go today I am not feeling well " I said coldly. I lifted my head and saw him leave without a word... did I do wrong? Why did he say such a thing out of a blue? He must be kidding... never mind and he doesn't likes girls like me so, yeah it was a prank.
I tried to call Andrew the next day... but I got no answer. Is he sad about my answer that day? I should msg him. "Andrew how are you doing? I know I was rude that day... can we talk about this? " I wrote in my msg but...i never got a reply, why?
*3 days later*
I couldn't contact Andrew in anyway..did he blacklisted me?? No he never does that. So I decided to go to his home to check if everything is fine...
Soon as my classes finished I directly went to Andrew's home and all I saw was a lock on the door... wait did they leave?? No it's not possible is it?...I asked the nabour houses and asked about Andrew's family and from everywhere I got 1 answer "they went abroad". He left me? without a bye? Don't I deserve a good bye from him after 5 years of friendship?? am I a joke? I was very angry that day I cried all day... I couldn't convince my self he left without a bye. Maybe that's why he proposed me that day, but... but he could have said the truth right? I wouldn't have killed him. But maybe I would have stopped him and he didn't wanted me to stop him. "Andrew where ever you stay, you are always the person closest to my heart. I will never forget you" I said it while looking at the sky's, I hoped he could hear it.
*1 year later*
It's already been a year since Andrew left, I can't reach him or contact him and I am both frustated and sad...
Except being alone and having no bestfriend everything is still same, I still stalk Kelvin... I still want him to know I love him although I never talk to him. But something changed about me I feel like I am not the same Vivian... that childish girl laughing at every single stupid joke.. I stop laughing that much, I stopped being childish. Maybe I stopped being myself.
Recently I am using Alot social media why u ask? I don't know the reason... maybe it's because I don't wanna feel alone indeed being an introvert girl is not easy, we control our emotions, we can't express our feelings, can't talk to others but now I am kinda used to it... I am used to stay alone. And I am grateful to Andrew for making me strong in a way to live alone.
*That evening*
I was scrolling through my social media account and got this notification it said "Unknown person msged " I got confused and clicked it... I went to that person's profile and saw a very beautiful girl , she was around my age, with brown beautiful hair, and a eye catching pics...
While scrolling through her profile I realised I saw her somewhere she did look familiar but where?
Oh! I remember she also studies in the same high school where I do and last week we talked a little bit about some random things...wait did she remember me?
I went to the msg section of my phone and saw her msg it said "hey Vivian! you remember me? I am Christy we talked last week during lunch I had a great time that day... today I happened to find your account here would u like to be friends? " OK Yup she wrote quite a long msg...but it's fine she is cute. Without thinking much I replied "yes sure" to her...
I was happy it was a first time someone came to me but her own to become my friend. In my life this was something unexpected...
Normally people always be happy to have new friends but in my case I was not... why u ask of course many important people left me alone in the past (The "important people" refers to her grandpa and Andrew) I asked my self "should I give myself a chance and become her friend? " or maybe we are just meant to be casual friends nothing else.
Indeed we didn't talked frequently but I was in a Beauty group with her and some of her casual friends... I felt good talking to them, maybe they did too I don't know.
*2 mounth later*
I heard Kelvin is quitting high school... it's OK he is nothing special but why do I feel so insecure about it, I suddenly feel like bursting out with tears...i know I am deppresed. I am deppresed that he will leave and I won't see him again. I am insecure about what happened to me last year...
I decided to quit too ,why?? am I being to dependent on him... why is it like he is controlling me?? that day I talked to Christy about my deppresion and problems, yes we r not that close but there is something between us that makes a very strong friendship bond... I also told her about my idea to quit high school. She wasn't happy, but why is that so?we barely know each other right?... yes! that night I cried while talking but I felt warm I was happy someone is there to hear my nonsense and is caring me...she later told me not to quit and I agreed.
~to be continued~