Once again,im getting used to this.
Once again being dumped..but still why am i here?Sounds crazy yet i still in love with her.
I know she didnt loved me that seriously but why am risk myself?I guess that was actually called love.No..one side is the correct words.
Im hers ..
But feel like never because she still into that person she used to loved.
Why cant just she see me with that loving eyes?
What did i lack of?Is my love not enough for you to forget your exes?
Thats what i think of..whenever i saw this scene over again.I feel sting in my heart and a deep pain.
But still why tear didnt flow into my cheeks?Ohh i used to being hurt i guess.
I sigh heavily while forming a smile..forced to.
"you can through all of this..you used to it" i give myself a words and headed to my room and tried to close my ear not wanting to hear any voice.Yeah her moans calling somebody name randomly.
Recently,she always bring back any random guy to our house and make something here without care abt my presence here.And tomorrow morning she will act as if im the person who being with her that night.She didnt apologize to me neither..am i not human didnt have any feelings at all?
I feel so betrayed but yet why i didnt push her or give a simple breakup?
Because im the only person who she can rely on and me too,deep in love.I cant stand the feeling watching her suffer.
Let me sacrifice for you because that is called love.
ring ring~
I pick up my phone while wiping off my tears and try to clear my throat so that my voice will not get crack later.My bestfriend will know it and i dont want to hear her advice because its hurt to the hell!!
"yo whatsup still online there.I watching you~"
"shut up you freaking me out now"
"hahhahahaha scaredy cat really are you?So why still up at this midnight?You know you should enjoy your night with..upps or your wife is having fun with any random guy again?"
"you worse the situation now keyla"
"what?Not me.Its you..how many times do i say?This is waste your time,wake up man..ergh i dont know why you still in love with your so called girlfriend when she is clearly cheating.Arent you hurt?"
I smile bitterly and end the call.
Hurt?I feel that many times.
I sigh heavily and look down to the photo when both of us still happy that time.
'if we could turn back time,i would choose not to fall in love with you because im so sick of getting hurt many times.As if there is someone better i can choose and this is not late for me..to search someone who appreaciated my existence'
I have enough of this...im sorry.
I cant be the one you can rely on.
I think this is a right time to say i giving up on you.
Giving up on our relationship.
I dont think i can face you to even say our breakup so let me just write a goodbye letter.
---------------------------------------------
After that many emotional things,i flyed to somewhere abroad to calm my mind,to run from all of the painful memories.I cant live in that town anymore because i dont want to being in a encounter with her,it might be a higher chance to happen right?So i make this decision.
"ryan..."
That voice,i look up to her and she is with someone.
"im sorry.."
I smile and taps my hand on their shoulder.
"its okay,i trying to forget you.Be happy with him.Im glady that you guys finally get back together..."
She nods and hug me..I will miss this.
"im sorry for everything,i didnt know that i hurt you badly.I should just tell the truth that. that. "she stopped there and look down with that teary eyes .
I wiped her tears and smile once again.
"your happiness is my happiness too,i never regret having you as my first love.But the destiny really sucks for us maybe in next life we could be together?Always remember that my love..maybe i just being too emotional yesterday,i never hate you i cant because you have this kind of special place in my heart.Until we meet again my angel.Goodbye for now."i giving them a goodbye sign and get inside the plane with satisfied feeling.
Finally,this is what i search for.
Try to learn forgive someone.Dont let yourself stuck in that love quarrel.Let go someone if she or he didnt love you anymore just finding someone else like what i do now.Yeah im going abroad to finding some sexy girl hhahahahah joke.
What i mean is maybe..just maybe i can found my right one there.Now i cam learn from my past.Dont dare to love someone who still in love with their ex because in the end you just hurt your own self .
I look out through windows and sigh happily.
"maybe destiny is somewhat beautiful too because...beside me..
there is Myoui mina from twice!My bias arghh im dying here"
(ahahhahha im sorry if i include twice here i just admire her too much.Any once here?hehe)
