Hi! I'm Emily. Wanna listen to my story?
Let me start by introducing myself... I'm Emily Gerard. I used to be someone who sees all the best in a person. And value friendship so much. I even appreciate every little thing that a person do for or with me. I'm also a type of a person that when I knew I want to keep someone by my side, I'll give everything I could to please him or her. Yes, I used to be like that until one thing happened in my life.
I was 19 years old back then. I just transferred from Korea to Japan to pursue college. I was new in Japan. Classes starts and for the span of almost 1 month, I've got only few friends from our class. Few weeks later, intramurals was approaching, I've decided to join volleyball and there I get to know Neo. He was cute, funny, talkative and I could even feel positive vibes from him. I do wanted to be friends with him the first time we met. Soon we became friends. We constantly see each other during practices and when home, we talk to one another and shares our own different stories over the phone. We've been so close that even sharing our personal problems and struggles became so normal. We've been that close that even some of my friends think that we two are more than friends. I really don't bother to think about it at first because I know he got a girlfriend. Until one day, they broke up. He even tell me about it and shares every detail why it happened. He said that it's been long since their relationship was not getting any better and he said he's fine. We could still talk well and I knew he's fine.
Months after, things just go the same way. The communication goes on. Still, we were really comfortable with each other and that moment, I felt I'm developing feelings for him. I just ignored it but unconsciously, I was showing it to him through my actions. Later, we talk about it and he said he knew about it. Of course there was awkwardness but we try to keep it cool.
The fact that he already know my feelings for him, I already don't care if I do things that would make him feel special. I just show it and let it out. He even accepted what I'm doing for him and he seems to appreciate it too. I instantly grants his requests and favors. Basically, I was doing everything for him. We've been good. We even go out to study with just the two of us. I thought he was developing some feelings for me too. Little did I know, I was becoming an idiot. Little did I know, it was just me who thinks we're getting fit for each other. It was just me who thinks he appreciates what I'm doing. Because he really don't. He just stays because it was me who was there. The moment someone whom he wants appeared in his front, he forgets me. I thought we were good but suddenly he just didn't show up. We loss communication and connection. Everything between us were gone. Everything end up. And I just heard that he and her girlfriend were back at dating.
Well, I think it's fine that we didn't end up being boyfriends and girlfriends. But it's sad that we also didn't end up being friends.
That thing changed me. I realized that no matter how much you try to please a person, if that person doesn't want to remain by your side, they would eventually leave. So we better not get attached to other people too much. We must guard ourselves and don't let just anyone enter our lives without the guarantee that they would stay.
-NY♡
