on the first day i was born on this world, how happy my parents were because i was born. maybe if i was just a baby, I will still remember the memory that i first saw their smile while looking at me.
maybe it's too hard to think about that. you can see your dad smile while you're looking at him and smiling because you're happy to see your dad.
My dad gave me a name and it's Akira and it means light, because I'm dad light. I am happy that I am the one who gives light to my parents.
I though happiness goes on and on but as I grow older i feel more sadness.
"Dad so-sorry"....aika
"your grade is low again! why don't you be like your cousins who have high grades with honors because you are doing something you don't study hard! that's the only thing you'll do is study but you can't do it properly!"....Dad
"I'm doing everything I can to increase my grade I'm not like my smart cousin"....akira
"you are already answering me! you really inherited from your mom!!"....Dad
Even though I'm doing my best to see my dad doing my best to make him happy but he got mad and always mad at me and comparing me to my cousins he want me to imitate but what can I do if even though I am trying but i still can't do it, is it useless to call me, I admit I am not smart, not good at studying nor my dad can make me proud of his friends because he wants a smart child and he can do it be proud but not like me.
"Dad, my graduation day is near, and next year I will be in high school "....akira
"Do you have Honors?if there is, I will go."....Dad
"e'm Dad, I don't know if I'm with honors"....akira
"You don't know?! why don't you know!! that's what I'm telling you, study hard so you'll know!"....Dad
"I am studying hard, Dad".....akira
"Study? is that what you can call a study? why didn't you become smart like your cousins,look at them they always have honors and you don't have it, it,s embarrassing Akira.".....Dad
"So-sorry Dad"....akira
" you're sorry and sorry again, understand it so that you'll know and study hard"....Dad
"Yes Dad"....akira
I am a grade 6 Student...
I'm a grade 6 student and one week left and my graduation is approaching. and I wish that even if I don't have honor, my dad will still come.
-GRADUATION DAY-
I see everyone with their family and complete and I see happiness in their eyes, and I keep waiting at the gate and hoping daddy will come, almost everyone is called, but I am standing at the gate and going on waiting.
until my name was called and I kept waiting, but he never came. until almost everyone is going home, I am still waiting and wondering that he will come, but I waited for nothing.
I'm thinking that dad might have prepared and he was waiting for me to go home so instead of riding home I run until the heavy rain fell I was happy because my dad surprised me, I hurried to open the door but it was dark and no light, no one came to greet me, the smile on my face was suddenly replaced by sadness and I turned on the lights and I remembered the times when i was so happy with my dad that I thought he would be a good father but no, because even the important day for her child she forgot.
So i went upstairs and sat on a side and i couldn't stop crying i'm thinking i should've never been put on this earth.
if only, if i were smart I'm sure daddy would love me and be proud of his friends and say how proud he is to have a daughter like me. but i also think why other fathers even if their children are not smart they love so much and never compare them to others, unlike me if we rarely talk to daddy he always judge me and make me look like that if i do mistakes,because all I do is wrong to him and he always compare me when he sees something that i should imitate.
I'm a high school student and i'm 16
every time our card gets dropped i cant show it to my dad because i know i hear all the hurtful words from him. ever since i was in high school i couldn't ask him for help and i couldn't show my grades to him.because i know he's going to compare me again, my grade is getting higher unlike when i was in elementary school even if my grades are already high on my card i know it won't be enough for daddy. that's why i'm wiating for him to take the initiative to ask about my studies.
I was never close toy dad, and everytime i see him my heart is filled with anger and my mind is full of questions. i can't look my dad in the eyes because of the hate i have for him.
i grew up with only myself leaning when I'm tired and my shadow was the one who stood by me when i was alone.
"Akira how are your grades? are you going to have honors?".....Dad
"My grades are fine.".....akira
"it better not be that embrassing to my friends and your aunts and uncles.".....Dad
"I'm about to climb up.".....Akira
he is always thinking of shame and only grades are important to him, he doesn't even think of how to say hello to her own child, it hurts me so much when she always thinks of the things that will raise and fix her name, she has nothimg I don't care about what i feel.
My graduation is near and it happened that it was my birthday.
"Dad can...,"......Akira
I'm not done yet he sait it right away....
" I can't go because I'm busy at work i'll give you money and buy what you want. and another one I don't want to be embarrassed.".....Dad
"You forgot that day?".....Akira
"why what is important that day? can you please not ruin my morning".....Dad
"Dad i was happy when i first saw your smile, while i was looking at your smile on me.".....Akira
i remember dad telling me how happy he was when i was born and how much i made him so happy.
"What is that you are saying for?".....Dad
"can we have a picnic on my graduation day?....Akira
"I ahve a lot to do so stop your drama".....Dad
"Dad, I'll wait."....Akira
"What the hell! Don't you understand?".....Dad
he left without even knowing it's my birthday, being with dad is the best gift for me and ofcourse my mom, and i will continue to shine like the name he gave me.
-GRADUATION DAY-
"Akira is your daddy coming?.."
"Yeah akira im sure your daddy is so proud of you."
"you're so good and so smart"
my friends who see my worth more than my daddy.
I just wanted to go home walking so often the sadness that i feel is relieved.
As i walk home i see people my age with their fathers and happy while they are together, the love they give to their children since they were born and until they grew up. the love that i really want for my dad until now, is that your father doesn't feel ashamed of you to other people, i see other kids happy with their father. i want it to happen to me to experience the happiness with my dad.
16 years have passed but my disire for my daddy to be with him and love me even though I'm not a kid anymore but until now i want to be with dad and experience eating out and enjoying ourselves have a picnic and go to places where bonding is fun dad is the happiest of all.
on my 17th birthday my wish is, my daddy will love me without anything in return i may not be smart but still proud, and dad will see my worth and the suffering i am experiencing.
is being a father to his child hard to do?
if he loves you, there is nothing difficult and when he loves you, he will do everything just to make you happy, and also for the better for you. no father doesn't love their children.
I couldn't ask for anything but daddy to love me.
