I did everything thay wanted me to do,
I even abandon me own happiness
I even abandon all my friends
I never walk out or talk out,afraid that I will take a wrong step to your written future for mine
Never talk back even when you are the wrong one, afraid that it'll hurt you
Never utter the word *No* to you thinking that it'll be the best for me
Letting you decide everything for me
Letting you give me all those responsibilities and everything in my shoulder
Never shed a single tears in front of you even though I'm hurt...so much hurt that I cannot even describe
Crying in the corner where you cannot see me,but smiling and laughing like nothing happens or nothing's wrong in front of you....because I don't want to make you sad or guilty
Saying*Yes* and *OK* to everything you say,not disagreeing enything even when I am not able to do it,I tried to be at your expectations
But that still wasn't enough,
You want more from me,you keep your expectations for me too high that I cannot reach it and at last all I learn is to be strong and tried my best again.
But I never reach your expectations and all see is my failure and my not-best side.
I tried keeping up with all your expectations and my responsibilities,I lose my everything,my happiness,my life,my desire,my freedom,and myself
But reaching your expectations were always my first priority.
Even though I now I will never be able to,I still tried to do my best.
But it's all a failure
Maybe you expect too much from a 14 your old girl.
Maybe I want to live my life too
Maybe I'm not just the child you want to be
Maybe I have too much responsibility
Maybe if I tried harder I will be able to do it
But again,maybe it is too much for me
Im not some superhuman who is the best
I will be able to do it better if you don't expect too much from me
Faking my smile and laugh are my everyday routine now
Faking me happiness is not something hard for me now
But I'm just a kid and I make mistakes
And at that time I want someone to support me and guide to the right path
Not someone to scold me and tells me one more time that I am not what they want
Even after all that,all the words from them are
" You are living your life the way you want and never listen to us","All you have to do was study and have a good profession","See them,do you want to be like them,than study more....it's now enough,more","If you were a boy,maybe you will be albe to do it better","You don't need those friend..just study","Why can't you do it as we want you to","Why can't you do it right?It isn't that hard","Slacking off again?Why are you like this?Can't you be at our expectations?We want nothing much but your best at everything.We are not expecting much so try your best".
Sometimes I wonder how will they react if they were at my shoes!Will they be able to do it?
No!!Than why????????????
