I was missing someone a lot today. So, thought to write about it.
As there is a saying " SOMETIMES JUST THE ACT OF SHARING A PAINFUL SECRET CAN RELIEVE SOME OF THE PAIN "
That day, as usual I was scrolling instagram when I saw a notification of a message. I clicked it to check were I saw an unknown text from a boy. he sent me a picture of his and below of his picture he wrote his phone number and said me to text him. and I was like 'what the hell why should I will text him?' but my curiousity won against the ego of mine and I texted him at evening. As he was very strange I wanted to know him. I said him "Hii! why did you asked me to text you?" after an two to three minutes later I got an reply. And he said "like I expected you all girls are same". I didn't understand what he wanted to tell me. so I asked him again "What do you mean?" And the answer I got was too unexpected he said "You texted me back because I am handsome right and you liked me." well, I agree he was very handsome with having perfect body but that doesn't mean I am gonna like him because of his so called look. so I texted him back saying "Man look don't be so over confident upon yourself. I have no interest on you. I was just curious about you. As you were little different from other so I just wanted to know about you. that's it." And from here where my journey started with him. we become close friend and started to share our each and every secret's and many more thing. And One day I asked him about his love life and he said he used to love a girl very deeply but that girl was with him because of his money and later she broked up with him and get married to a other guy. so it is hard for him to love anyone. I didn't know what to tell him because it happened with me too the situation was not same but we both are heart broken. the boy whom I used to love whole heartedly was just playing with me. well, so I just replied him that "we both are heart broken. what a coincidences" he just send me a smile emoji and then for some minute it become silent I mean no one texted to each other. but after five minute he again texted me something. he said me "Look I like you but don't think more then that I can't fall for anyone" I never thought about him in that way because he is seven year older then me. and I was just an 16 year old girl. I did consider him only as a friend. So from there were I started to hesitate talking with him because I felt maybe he gonna think about me in a wrong way. earlier I used to text him first but after that I stopped texting him first and slowly, our conversation got stopped.
After one month, That day I don't know why but I was missing him and to my surprise on that day he texted me saying "well, miss do you forgot me or you were intensely ignoring me" I replied him "No I was just busy because of my exam" He didn't said anything and then again we started to talk with each other everyday but this time it was him who started to text me first. like this two day went and at evening when I was talking with him he asked me my picture it's because he never saw me and he wanted to see me. but I was scared because I am an chubby girl and I think I am not beautiful may be he gonna stop talking with me. so I tried to not give my pic to him but he insisted me so much that I have to send him. After sending my picture I said him "look I am not beautiful at all so I didn't want to send you my pic and I know you gonna hate me now" and he said "who said you are not beautiful. I never saw such a beautiful girl like you. who is beautiful from inside and outside of the heart." I know he was just saying those things to make me happy and I also know that it was too cheesy but never mind it touched my heart and there's were I started to have feelings for him. It was not love nor it was the feeling of friendship. It was something more than friendship and less then love.
Just like this a year passed and we both become very close with each other. he even started to flirt with me, talk with me about his dirty thought's about me and so on. As usual it was going well when, one day on my birthday I got many wishes where many of my friends and family wished me birthday which I kept it on my status and there was many cousins of mine who were boy's and he saw it too. but he didn't wished me my birthday which make me sad. so, on next day when he text me I asked him why didn't he wished me my birthday and he replied "I was jealous of those boy's that you talked with" I asked him "why so? you too talk with so many girls but I never got angry on you then why you?" and he said "Because I love you damn it and I want to spend my whole life with you" I was stunned by his words. it was him who said me not to fall for him and at end he do fall for me. however, I didn't knew about my feelings well, Yes I like him but about love I don't know. so, I replied "I need some time I don't know about my feelings" and he was okay with it. time went on like always we talk with each other but one day while chatting we had a fight for something and I said "if you speak about it again I will not talk with you" and he said "as your wish" I got angry upon him and deleted his number. I thought maybe he will text me but I waited like that and he never texted me back. I tried to find his number but I can't. and then I realised why people say not to take any decision in anger just a small fight ruin our relationship.
I wish I could say him that how much I love him and want to stay with him.
And I still have a hope that he will text me whenever I will miss him like earlier.
