I don't know from where to start . I never felt that I'm a child who's loved .
I'm sick
I'm sick of these feelings
these emotions and everything
I'm sick of everything .
people usually say that I'm so cold hearted I never show my emotions . but how can I show my emotions when you don't even care . and I feel empty from inside it's not like I don't want to show my emotions it's just that I can't ....
it's just that my parents always told me ...
they don't like cry babies
you mustn't cry
stop being dramatic
so how can I show my emotions to the fullest
so I learned ..... I learned to harm my body and bleed myself when I can no longer shed tears
you hate me ?
there nothing new in it .
I hate me , too
sometimes I do feel suicidal
and whenever I m alone at home I think about various methods to do it
but then I give it a second thought
that what if I don't die
what if I somehow get saved
my parents will scold me right ?
it's not like they will cry or care since she was the one who told me to it
but on the other hand she said don't do these kind of thing
I just don't know why do they treat me like I'm a puppet ..... I wish that I can die but I think I'm too scared to die
but I think it's worth to try it for once
but then I have some dreams which I want to fulfil
I actually don't have any hope the only hope is my so called dreams ... which aren't actually dreams but desires . but in the end of all for me it's worth to give it a try .
~ Annie 💞
