I once thought life is nothing but a game of numbers and transactions. Everything can be calculated according to volumes specific data. With careful studying and research, nothing could ever go wrong. And I was proven right when I started playing with stocks and started doing business.
With a seemingly amicable smile that hides various calculations and a graceful gait that only moves towards certain victory, there was nothing I could not handle. Everything was as easy as playing with numbers and accompanied by perfect transactions that benefits all parties involved in gamble where I won more than what I spent.
Everything was according to plan.
I will finish my graduate studies at the University while earning the capital I'll need to start my own company through playing with stocks.
I was all ready to venture the perfect path I chose for myself.
But an unknown and inexplicable variable suddenly appeared.
It was something that could not be calculated with just numbers and could be won easily with decent transactions.
I met her and she changed my life.
The well organized numbers went haywire. All methods of transactions I've been perfecting over the years became useless.
And somehow, a clumsy, underprivileged, plain, and average girl messed up my mind just by giving me one of her rare smiles with a face as dull as gray concretes. She's not exactly ugly. She looks decent. But she's totally not my taste.
She could be smart when dealing with academic matters. But she's so naive and dense around people that she often made me want to throw her to the outer space for a few days.
But she's the girl that made my heart and mind go crazy. I can't just let go of this undeniably deep entanglements in my heart so easily.
So instead of starting a company immediatel after finishing from my graduate studies, I applied for a department position and quickly wormed my way up to get quick and stable promotions.
I became her class teacher, club adviser, academic adviser, and Thesis adviser. I even took on the job of being an academic counselor just to ensure I'm everywhere she goes.
I made sure I am with her for most of her days and hours at school.
I slowly earned her respect and admiration. And when she finally managed to feel at ease around me, I started making excuses to ask her out.
I treated her well, made her feel special, give her my time and patience, and I even stopped going home often just to spend more time with her.
But the silly girl, despite her feelings for me that took me so much time and effort to nurture, never once realized my feelings for her.
I love her. I'm obsessed with her.
Why can't she see how much I yearn for her?
But I kept calm and controlled the beast in me. With a gentle smile I slowly guided her feelings to become deeper and deeper and expected her confession during her last semester as a college student.
And when I thought everything was going well, something went wrong.
She started avoiding me. I thought it was just due to her growing feelings for me. But soon I realized it's not just that. Something more is at play.
My already thinning patience and almost uncontrollable madness went haywire. I lost my composure and my calm. I became aggressive and stupid for a very stupid reason.
I overestimated myself and my self control.
I pursued her and boldly showed my love only to receive her cruel rejection. I went mad in paranoia and frustration.
I know there's no one else except for me. I made sure she will only have me as the option. So why didn't she accept me? Why didn't she say yes.
We went through circles due to my stupidity and dumb approach. But still I was certain that when she calms down, she'll tell me the reason for her actions herself and will give a chance to pursue her again.
But the silly girl actually planned to run away a the way home just to keep me at a distance.
I would've chased her to the ends of the Earth to clear things up if she had succeeded leaving without giving me an explanation or giving the both of us some time to talk.
But a thankfully nosy person helped make things easier for me. I will hunt that person in the future for invading my and my belove's privacy. But for the time being, I'll temporarily let him or her off.
"Sean!" Maya called out from afar.
The airport is filled with a heavy traffic of busy and eager people making hard to recognize who you know and to familiarize the people you encounter for so many times.
But she stood like the sun in the middle of a crowd in my eyes. She was there smiling at me hesitantly.
It's been six months since I last saw her when I chased her flight and had a fierce conversation that led to her delaying her flight for a day.
We talked calmly as I tried to woo her with my sincerity again.
But my beloved was as stubborn as she had always been. She chose to leave for us to ascertain our feelings. She wanted to know if our feelings were real and solid.
I had wanted to make a scene and tell her my struggles at the time.
'Silly girl! I dropped everything and spent years just chase you! How can my feelings be not real?' These are the words I swallowed down my throat reluctantly.
It took time and was delayed for a period of time.
But the wait and investments were worth it. The numbers finally behaved and got in order once more. The romantic transactions I've devised had succeeded.
And now I feel that everything in my life is perfect once more.
I ran towards the silly girl with a stupidly happy expression and held her tightly in my embrace.
'This time I'll make I won't lose you.' I swore to myself.
And numbers jumbled up once more, my head became noisy with my plans once more, and somehow, I found myself loving the mess I became and even fell harder for the person who changed me both for the worse and for the better.
〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜Author's Note〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜
I'm not a skilled writer so my stories may look dull often times. But I hope you will end up appreciating my works enough to make you want to support it and subscribe for it.
Thanks for reading this Postory!
- NorShaTa -
