I wish I didn't change

I was scrolling through my phone when my battery died I charge it and wait for it

as I get bored waiting I lay down on my bed and close my eyes

a lot of happy memories I have shown up I continue imagining those memories

but my brother came in side and disturb me

I ask him what is his problem

I told him to get lost

but he said he won't leave

I got irritated by him and ignore him

I continue to close my eyes and imagine those things again

then my brother speak he said that it his first time seeing my smile like that

I ask him what does he mean

he said that it's rare for him to see me smile with full happiness

I told him I always smile what do you mean by its your first time seeing it

then he said the smile you show to me almost everyday feels like a lifeless smile unlike now

then I stopped to smile think of what he mean

ah yeah the smile I show everyday is just a mask to cover how broken I am

then he again speak he ask me why I stopped smiling and get quite

I ask him what wrong if I stop smiling

then he said those smile suit you well you should smile like that everyday

I answered him and told him that's impossible

then he ask why

someone like you won't understand

then he again ask why won't I understand

I told him you will know and you will understand it when you grow up

he said ok

then he again ask ate what are you thinking for to make you smile like that

I answered my old me

he then again ask what do you mean by your old you

I answered when I was a kid I was just like you full of happiness naughtiness and full of questions in my mind

then he again ask ate do you always smile when you were a kid

I answered yes I always smile and never cry

then he said while in a sad face I wish I could feel the old you used to be

I told him why

he said because you are always cold to me rarely talk and rarely play with me

I answered him yeah I wish I didn't change but I can't do anything I have already changed and I can't bring my old self back

then when he about to speak again I get up from laying and stand up I open the door and ask him to go out he goes out with sad expression on his face

I close the door and a drop of tears came from my eyes and says I wish I didn't change