🦋Love Rushed Online 🦋

How much can one person trust Love online? I once met a strange person to whom I entrusted my heart. And, it all started from the love confession that trends~

"Hey, Z!! what were you up to now?", asked Vic

"..."

*glimpses

"Another private account huh!!"

"Nah!! don't mind me... I can explore things easily and can communicate with my fans in this", replied Z and smirked.

*browse and throw rants to bashers and compliments under his posts

"Oh see? you're looking furious now haha. You're just stressing yourself", Vic teases.

"Waah!! I can't believe these people! how could they say such words? it doesn't make sense at all!", ranted Z.

*browse and notices a comment

"I really like your songs. It makes me feel at ease by just listening to it. Your voice is so d*mn awesome!"

*Z smiled~ tapped the account and see the profile

"Hmm what's with that smile all of the sudden?", Vic teases. *Z hiding the phone

"Ah, it's already past 11 pm! I need to wake up early", Z mumbled. "So many things to do again"

Z is a musician and he lives his life doing music; he writes and sings. He possesses a strong aura and a cold type appearance yet clumsy for some time which makes him a bit comedian on his own. He gained popularity in music and gathered fansites.

I graduated earlier in the month yet took another class to learn a language~ Korean. I became a bit cold and bitter about love after taking the chance three times as a failure. I offer love but receive betrayals from a best friend. Took another but also a failure followed by another then I stopped. I'm stuck with music. That's all I'm searching for. Singing and collecting songs to hear. I'm fond of it. That's me!

Jeana~ is a hopeless romantic girl. I watched movies, animes, and dramas to search for beautiful OSTs including the singers that will catch my attention. And so it happened, I passed by Z's channel, fansites, and so on. I can't explain what I feel after hearing his voice and songs. There's a silent cry in the lyrics~ even the rap seems full of sadness well in fact it's lively.

"What's wrong?", asked Daryll. "You seem emotional"

"..."

"Brokenhearted?", he teases.

"Damn! no", I retorted. "Why would I be brokenhearted when I didn't even have a boyfriend?"

*Z browsing the comment section

'Z!!! you're so handsome!'

'Z please marry me! I love you'

'If being your pet is a way to be with you then I'm willing to'

"Hayst!"

"Stressing yourself again?", said Kevin. "I already told you not to engage with fans using the such account"

"Nah don't be like that. I'm used to it already my good manager", Z retorted.

* reading and browsing

*notices something

"Uhm Vic!", Z called out. "Will you check this account for me? I want to know about her"

"Hmm Z!!!"

"Okay, manager... I'll be careful that's why I'm asking Vic about this matter"

"Wait... let me see", Vic insisted. "Hmm, what's with this account?"

"Her eyes...", Z whispered.

"...??..."

"Nothing. Don't mind it"

"Why don't you message her?", Vic suggested.

"Can I do that?... what will I say to her then?", asked Z.

"Well, it's up to you...", Vic responded and Z smirked. *Vic laughing and teasing Z

*message popped up

That's when I got the first message from Z. At first, the account just seem familiar then I tapped and saw it was the account in my mind. I showed it to my cousin Hannah and she recognized it too.

"Like for real cousin?!!!", she exclaimed. "But, why are you hesitating to reply to him? it's a heartthrob already!!!"

"Yeah. That's why I will hesitate... I can't trust a guy with popularity", I insisted

"Hmm. well yeah, who knows if it's just a staff framing him", Hannah assumed. "But still cousin!!! you need to reply and observe. Show me the conversations afterward"

It took me about 5 minutes before I reply to that message. It says Hi and I replied Hello for a start.

*Z typing a message for a few seconds

I showed it to my cousin. I haven't had more information about Z. Not even his full name~ I only know his songs. I wasn't paying attention to an artist's personal information or personality that much. If I like the song but get offended by the posted behavior then I'll only ignore it and focus on the music. That's what happened~ he was a blunt one and being a musician with no filter in the mouth makes him unique from all those musicians I've watched. The message he sent was too direct and wasn't expected to read such information which had me doubt him.

CHATTING...

"Why would a public figure message someone like me? Aren't you afraid that I might be untrustworthy?"

"I don't doubt who my heart chooses"

"..."

Hell no, that was so fast! words might be mistaken for that was the first-day talk but he trusted me this much! He invited me to have more talks on a private account. It took me half an hour to respond to him till I received another message

"Hey, I'm busy right now and don't have much time for this. If you want to know more about me then come and message me back. I wanna know more about you" *sent the account code

That leaves me speechless at the thought that I seem to like the one who asked him to make a conversation with him well, in fact, he did message me first! Will it be my fault if I won't message him back?

After some thought, I end up talking with him on that account. Later that night, he did live streaming which made his fans puzzled. He confessed that there is a girl he likes but he can't see her for he doesn't know much including her whereabouts. That confession creates a big issue and lots of guessing which affected a few public figures. One musician took the description of the fans' guess. It's Eunji~ a well-known goddess of beauty in the music industry. I felt uneasy about some thoughts. I can't be involved in that issue because we haven't known each other for days but still, I felt uneasy.

"So, he was messaging random fans to make friends I guess", I assumed. "Then, he shouldn't be calling me sweetheart or honey again! Is he a player? he likes that goddess"

For those continuous issues, I haven't questioned Z about them.

CHATTING...

"Good morning sweetie"

"Morning"

"How are you, sweetheart?"

"I'm fine. Anyway, I will be busy again, and let's just do what we need to do for this day. Take care okay?", I messaged.

"Honey, why are you hiding things from me? why aren't you asking anything?", he asked

"Asking about what?"

"Honey, if you want to get my attention you need to be nice to me just like others. You don't need to hide anything from me", he inquired.

"Well, alright. You want to know my activities right? I'm just setting up my time for my work and class. I'm attending my Korean class"

"Wow that's nice", he responded.

I know he's talking about something else but I'm trying not to be curious about things or act like we had such a relationship while I'm only considering the conversations as 'knowing each other as friends but he's like insisting to go beyond friends. Then, I tried to act as he was expecting. I questioned him about the love confession, and the girl he likes which his fans insisting and questioned his rants about pushing me to tell him everything about myself, my problems, my family, including my savings. He once offered me to demand things from him and he will respond to those. A few phrases had struck him afterward ~ 'I feel like being played by you. You like someone else but you're playing a boyfriend role to me'

I want him to clear things up but he didn't respond and just I've thought~ I shouldn't just question him like I'm his girlfriend. Later at night, he did another live streaming followed by a post. He's furious about the guess girl he likes from his fans. They're adamant about saying this and that. He made clarifications from the posted articles and it clears everything up. The goddess of beauty doesn't seem to be the girl he's pointing to yet he didn't say things straight to me also. I still assumed it wasn't connected to me. I tried to cheer him up after getting furious but it simply didn't work for the night and the other day. I shouldn't

feel bad yet for some reason I feel guilty for saying he's playing with me. I typed and deleted messages for trying to apologize. It's funny to think that I end up making a long paragraph of apologies for my judgment of him. And still, just reading but no response... until the next morning.

Chatting...

*said sorry many times and finally, he replied

"I feel hurt by their words since that guessing happened", he replied.

"Well, telling the world that you like someone is not a bad thing but you should consider the girl's environment first. It could affect her too", I responded

The following days and months went fine with each other although I can't label what we are. We did share things and find free time from his hectic schedule. I end up sharing about my family and he's adamant about asking me to have a vacation with him even just for a day. Leaving me a promise to be with him one day and share his activities daily. Things are getting serious but I feel pressured whenever he's giving high expectations about the girl he likes to his fans. I am not expecting myself to take the spot and there wasn't any clarification about the relationship we had~ yet all hints were pointing out to our conversations. He loves to write songs and stories from how we started and the current status was written.

"Jeana, I hope you're doing well in your class. You've just graduated from college. We're expecting from you. I hope you could start helping us from now on", my brother suggested.

"As long as possible, no boyfriend for now...", my aunt mumbled and I just nodded. Since the day when my elder sister got pregnant earlier before she graduated~ my family asked me not to get engaged in any love relationship yet. And, I followed. I can't say anything about Z and I didn't say more to him. I don't know what's our relationship and he doesn't say anything also. He queries me multiple times about me hiding a lot of things about me. One time, he asked me to ready myself for a big event for us.

"By, this year's end~ I have a big surprise for my fans and you love", he started. "I want to give you a surprise!"

I feel strange by his words and he's adamant about asking things about me that includes my personal information such as my address. That's where I'm confident about my guess. If he landed in my place... I can't possibly say no. My family doesn't have any idea about him. The expectations are high and the fact that it was against my plans before he entered my life~ pressures me. I decided not to believe in love again after those failures but Z had changed me and I didn't even realize it. Yet, I want to gain achievements for myself and my family first. The offer to share everything with him wasn't considered by me. I can't just jump into his world without having something to offer.

I decided to take a break from it. The first attempt wasn't successful. He seems tired every time ~ I appreciate how he makes time to chat despite his busy schedule.

"Hi sweetheart"

"Hi, there!"

"I'm very sorry for not chatting with you much these days~ I'm really busy"

"It's alright. I'm much aware of your schedules from your fan's updates", I replied. "I hope you're doing well and take care of yourself"

"Thanks, hon. I just wanted to have a little time with you before my show comes up"

Later that night, around 11 pm he shared about their celebration. He mentioned that they were having a celebration for their success and had found time to gather while given rest in any activities (No working day) for the appreciation of the heroes of their country who sacrifice their freedom from war in history.

"You're having a celebration? then does it include alcoholic drinks?", I asked

"Yes... I already drank so much now", he responded

"Why? are you allowed to drink that much?", I asked worriedly. "Ain't you going to be busy again tomorrow?"

"Yeah, it's alright. I hope we can have a vacation together. I want to be with you even just for a day. I wish you can ask for my vacation from my manager to have a little time with you", he mumbled.

"Well, aren't you allowed to decide and ask for a vacation from the manager, yourself?"

"No...", he responded

"I wasn't expecting that", I replied. I didn't receive any fast response from him that night so I assumed he falls asleep. It was already quarter to noon when I decided to say goodnight to him. That second attempt for asking for a break is also a failure. I woke up early and received a message from him. He replied around 3 am from the last conversation.

"Did he even sleep?", I whispered.

I have been having thoughts on how to make him understand my plans in life. By his determination, it can't be possibly cut unless I make him reject me~ to make him hate me. As time goes by, I kept on having more information about him which can make it impossible for me to stay away from him. So, that night I decided to cut our communication earlier. As expected, he won't accept it

I tried to explain but it ended in a misunderstanding. I know he felt unfair from the very beginning and I didn't hear complaints except for asking me multiple times to share things with him. I was mad that I didn't notice my harsh words toward him.

"I don't want you to do anything for me and so you doing things for me to keep this conversation continuing. I don't intend to be your girlfriend or anything either. I have reasons for this and I can't choose you over it. I wanted to tell you all this but you don't have enough time!"

He didn't respond afterward. I wanted him to hate me so he would just forget things easily but I feel bad after reading my message again. I become so harsh. He read the message but didn't respond to it.

I apologized the next day and tried to explain it further and nicer... yet he didn't respond to my query instead;

"Good morning sweetheart"

that's the only message he sent as nothing happened. I tried to make it clear again and end up committing while fulfilling my responsibility as a daughter for my family and myself.

"I will come to you one day and I promise not to have any other relationship with others unless you already found someone else on your part"

Afterward, he didn't respond anymore and I'm just following him with his new songs and updates. Songs are expected to tell a heartbreaking story (our story)

The story started from an inspirational to a heartbreaking one and moved forward.

After a year, nothing happened but recently ~ changes came

Our updates started to be connected again

"Earth is round. No matter how far that place is~ it is still near~ the same goes for him. As long as we're seeing the same sky . .... you're always near"

~Jeana~

"Between the sky and ocean ~ will we change in this boundlessness?"

~Z~