Hello, I am Sofia. I am going to tell you a secret matter of my life. Because I have no idea what should I do next.
I have been suffering this for a long time. And it's because of you. You made this mess of my life. Now you can't play hide and seek anymore.
Are you confused? Don't worry. I was talking about my heart. My heat has a bad intention. It always clauses trouble. It's never listened to me and find its own way. Let me tell you the story.
I am Sofia. I lived happily back then. I was a the good kid of my parents. I was kinda nerdy student. I couldn't understand a world without a book. As so I lived my life with full of fun and joy. I had no regrets.
In the elementary school I met a girl named Linda. She was totally opposite of me. We had become friends for a few months and then we separated.
I was sad and thought I might be okay with it.
After a month with a lot of completion, I realised that what I had wasn't in line between friendship. It was more than that. I was in love with her. As a girl in such a young age I never wanted this relationship with her. Because I couldn't accept myself. I started to hate me. I tried to focus on my study. I tried to start a new and I strongly denied my feelings.
But it was not that easy for a teenager. I ran from this feelings for a long time. But the more I denied the feelings; the more it grew inside my heart. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't eat properly. I couldn't study. My academic results started to fall apart. I was drowning. A person can't take all these negativity for so long. So I take all my courage to face it. I told her about my feelings.
I hoped myself in a better situation. I wanted her to be with me.
I had bo clue how did she took it. Because she didn't answer me properly. So I wasn't sure. I was more in delima. I waited and waited. I tried to understand her. I asked her again and again but she didn't clear the mess. For me, I was sure that I won't able to breathe without her. So I started to stuck with her no matter what she do.
On the other side of the wall there was more complication of my life. Time passed by. In the University life. I met so many people. Among them I had a friend named Sky. We were good friend. I approached him like a friend but I never realised that he would cross the line. I told him that it wasn't possible for me. I had someone to like. But he didn't listen to me and insisted in his feelings. He always treated me with all of his heart. Watching him closely I struggled to bear his pain.
I convinced him so many times but he never listened. Things were just like that. After ages I discovered that I stated to have feelings for him too. I cared him a lot.
(Now you are wondering what's going on in here? It shouldn't be like this. This author is insane. Haha.)
Sofia is in a trap. She love 2 person in the same time. And It's not right. But she can't make a choice.
I tried to forget my first love Linda. But It's all in vain. To forget her, I cut all the connection with her and focused on the other things. But her absence made me crazy. I couldn't survive for a long. I ended my life with her. I started to follow her steps. I started to communicate with her. I have found that her presence was enough for me to breathe again.
For Sky, I did the same. I cut all ties with him. But I missed him so bad. For him my absence made him a mad person. He couldn't survive his life without me and I couldn't tolerate it. I want him to be happy with me.
I know, I am living in a wrong world. What am I doing is not right. I had to choose one path. But I didn't. I ended up with a whole damn mess. Now it's kinda impossible for me to leave one. Both of them. mean a lot to me. I know this is not right. And I'm still doing the same sh*t
Tell me how to deal with it? I know my heart is a cheater. It's cheating with two person. I can't breathe without any of this two. What did you think? Am I selfish? Am I fraud? Am I liar?
Littlerly I gave up. Someday when they will know about the truth, they might leave me alone. They might curse me. They might hate me and wish me to the death.
No, No, I can't even imagine.
I bet you that day will be the last day of my life. Because without them I wouldn't able to breathe.
I don't want a sad ending of my life.
So can you give me some advice?
Give Sofia a supportive solution. Whom should Sofia choose?
