You have done the right thing. You are now free and the weight has been lifted. Then why do you feel sad. You feel empty, void that you can not explain. What to explain when you can't even understand how you're feeling... The heart is longing for someone very far, may I say imaginary and only real in your dreams?
Find another thing to replace...? Replace ... you've tried it but to no appeal.You want peace but the thought of them only brings you problems. Wanna cry and scream your lungs out but you don't even have the strength to tear. It is soo frustrating when you want to be held by somebody and not just anybody but them.
You are rooting for them from a far with a smile on your face. When will you get to see them?, No, when will they get to know you even exist?
You are not hurt because you are heartbroken, but at the thought of them never knowing you, even if you've tried to get their attention many times.
Are you enough for them to call you theirs?
Just stuck in an abyss and you can't get out until the day they find you and bring light to your dark life.